


I'm Breaking The Habit Tonight

by Hyperballad



Series: I'm gonna show you where it's dark, but have no fear [3]
Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Erik channels his inner mountain man, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, My poor darling Charles, Ridiculous plot as always, Sexual Addiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-28 20:01:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 55,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6343255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyperballad/pseuds/Hyperballad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if two compulsions collide? What if two people find each other at a time when they are facing their own demons? In this fic, Erik Lehnsherr is a successful, corporate executive struggling with being a sex addict while Charles Xavier is a drop-out college student forced into prostitution to supplant his drug addiction. Their compulsions brought them together one night and Erik, in a desperate attempt to find salvation, uses Charles as his anchor. What comes next is a mutual discovery of love and redemption.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lprock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lprock/gifts), [lisa999](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lisa999/gifts).



> This fic has several influences. However, I will exclude them from my Fandom's list since these characters are not making any appearance in this fic. They only provide a visual amalgam in the interest of stirring the reader's imagination. I'll be using Martin Vosper from Murder in Mind (Teacher episode) portrayed by Mr McAvoy and Brandon Sullivan from the movie Shame portrayed by Mr Fassbender. I'm also influenced by another movie, but I'm not going to disclose it...yet. I'll let the readers guess it first ;)
> 
> The title is based on the Linkin Park song "Breaking the Habit" because I think the song works with this fic and lprock and I have a mutual love for Linkin Park. ;) Speaking of which, I'm dedicating this work to both lprock and to my dear friend, lisa999. I hope you have a thing for angst XD
> 
> MORE SIDE NOTES: In writing this fic, I just want everyone to know I don't promote drug-use. Also, the research I did is based on what I read online. I'm sure not all of these are true, so please do understand I don't claim that I'm an expert on addiction. As a warning, this fic will have a slow start and will contain only a few chapters.

 

In his mind…there’s a train. Doubtless, the train is about to run off its rails. He didn't know why he knew. He just did. Perhaps it was because it lent a feeling of a self-fulfilling prophesy in its wake as the train began to wobble perilously upon its ties. Consequently, the forthcoming destruction fulfilled its purpose. The gears squealed, protesting against its imminent derailment. Sparks from the grinding metal beneath its frame spewed forth, faintly illuminating the track bed with an ominous, orange glow. At this instant, the entire body of the train suddenly lurched upwards, slamming up against the concrete wall to its side with a shrill, metallic snag. The sound grew louder, grating and squealing as it went, enough to make one grimace and cover one’s ears. The discord echoed within the narrow tunnel of the subway; louder and louder it goes-

-then Erik’s attention snaps back into the present and he narrows his eyes at his supervisor, Scott Summers as the other continued with his discourse on cyber-security. In the room with Erik are their other colleagues, but they seemed vague, ghost-like to him.

"The threat of a cyber attack is a very real risk to our business and our most important priority right now is protecting our people, our data and information, and the safety and soundness of our business operations. Therefore, our best protection against these attacks starts with you,"

Scott suddenly pointed at Erik, causing Erik's eyes to widen due to Scott singling him out, but then Scott began to point at everyone in the room."You. You and you as well. It starts with every one of you!"

Slamming a hand upon the table for emphasis, Scott gazed at them intently, his expression grim."If we become lax, if we fail to safeguard ourselves against these progressive and ever changing viruses, sooner or later, these hackers will access our servers and disseminate our information out into the worldwide web and then what? Where does that leave our company?"

Here, Scott paused to achieve a dramatic effect, so that the gravity of the situation would sink in to his reluctant audience.

"Lawsuits will fly. Our competitors will pluck our data and use it for their own, laughing in our faces as they do so and worst of all, clients will pull out in droves until we are left with nothing. We might as well shut down and start from scratch-"

A lengthy silence from everyone in the room. They could only stare at each other, bewildered as Scott went on.

"So I'm telling you all, the threat is real. It's very real. It's breathing right down our necks. The best we can do is to take responsibility for our actions. Don't access third party websites. Don't click that link sent to you via spam emails-"

Erik began to lose interest, his mind going towards this strange thought he had just now. What was that? Why the sudden daydream of a train? His thoughts are usually of an erotic nature so this was truly abnormal, even for him.

His ideation on the matter is that we all have something that preoccupies our thoughts. Something that we carry around. He imagined people carrying suitcases in their heads. Be it Inner demons, fantasies; the bills we have to pay, the deadlines we have to meet; whether we are living the life or living a half-life. It could be anything. In Erik's case, he carries around a secret. A dirty little secret. He's unnaturally obsessed with sex, although he would not deem to call it a compulsion or addiction. He presumes that he simply likes to have sex, like any hot-blooded male. He does not realize that it was nearing the point where it's all about to spiral downwards.

Family and friends alike are all unaware of his secret self, as well as his associates and colleagues. He's actually a familiar sight in seedy bars and clubs, stalking about for one-night stands. If there's a pressing need to scratch his itch, whenever a partner couldn't readily be available, he'd be online, trolling porn sites and sex chat rooms, his personal laptop filled with nothing but porn. He'd watch, deep into the night, eyes glassy with lust until his mind swirled with sex and then he would use his own hands to relieve himself. If things got desperate and he needed it bad, he'd hire the services of a hooker, maybe two or three all in the same instance, just to get the heat out of his system. Still, he was careful about the sexual partners that he took and he wore protection. He somehow had this preternatural ability of determining if whoever he'd fuck would be 'clean'; namely someone free of disease, which saved him from biting the 'AIDS' bullet or acquiring an STD, prevalent in the dangerous lifestyle he has become predisposed to, but-

-again, why a train?

 

He had felt strangely introspective ever since he woke up this morning. Usually he dreamed of indiscriminate sex, but when he opened his eyes, his thoughts were already on that damned train, for the last vestiges of his dreaming consciousness was that of the said locomotive, accelerating towards utter demolishment. He attempted to divert his attention back to its usual course. Sex. Sexual fantasies. That's it.

He constantly fantasized about sex, occasionally following it off with some frantic masturbation. Even now, as he was lying alone in bed that morning, naked beneath his blue sheets, thoughts of plowing his erect cock into a streaming wet vulva easily overtook his imagination. He did not have a face to this body he was possessing in his fantasy. Their faces were all the same. Disjointed images came to him as he delved into his indecent thoughts. A woman's breast, with a pert and pink nipple flashing through, bouncing as he thrusted rhythmically into her cunt. The arch of a back; a neck. The heat-oiled sweat gleaming from her salty skin. Sometimes, he fantasized about famous women, but mostly it was a faceless woman, her body a conglomeration of his intimate encounters or something he had seen from a pornographic film.

Erik kept on lying down in bed, blinking occasionally as this sexual fugue ran through his head. He had woken up early, the skies outside still murky with the gray light of dawn. The murk was slowly starting to brighten, but his attention was still on this sexual encounter playing out within the confines of his dirty mind. A faint smile formed upon his lips as it unfolded. Later, he got up, unfurling his Venetian blinds, walking about naked while he prepared his suit and his breakfast. On top of his indecent obsession, he is a perfectionist, as reflected in the neat and orderly arrangement of everything in his minimalist, monochromatic apartment. His suits are color-coordinated in his closet along with his ties; all his shoes polished to a bright sheen.

He opened his fridge and he wrinkled his nose in distaste when he saw just a single carton of Chinese take-out noodles sitting on the top shelf. He had been too distracted lately that he had forgotten to buy groceries. He frowned, the birth of a growing unease taking possession of his thoughts. He's a stickler for routine and order. How could he have forgotten the groceries? It was not a good way to start the day. He strove to shake it off by busying himself. The light streaming in from his windows seemed to appreciate the rippling of wiry muscles beneath his bare skin; his cock dangling enticingly between his legs as he strode about. He still did not put any clothes on because he relished his own nakedness. He worked out and he knew he looked good, making it easy for him to charm women into having casual sex with him. He padded towards the kitchen counter and poured himself some cereal into a bowl, slicing up a Blood Orange to go along with it. He realized too late that he did not have any milk for the cereal and cursed under his breath.

"Oh fuck it!"

Nothing he could do about it now. He spooned the dry cereal into his mouth and ate the orange slices, waiting for his coffee to finish percolating in his expensive coffee machine. His nostrils flared as the scent of freshly brewed coffee wafted up into the air. After he had his breakfast, he hung his suit out on the handle of his closet and turned on the shower to take a bath. He liked to leave it on for a while first so that the sudden cascade of warm water would not shock his senses. He took a piss and then afterwards he got under the shower. As he shampooed his hair and lathered soap upon his body, thoughts of sex made his cock stir again, the warm water beating down upon it adding fuel to the flames. He began to beat himself off, moaning, with his hand braced against the wet tiles while he wanked away violently.

An hour later, he waited for the subway train at an underground transit station, which would transport him to the location of his company's uptown building in the city proper. He wore his favorite gray plaid coat along with his light gray scarf over his suit. Introspection suddenly crept up on him again as he waited, staring at the dilapidated tiled wall across the rails. Sometimes he'd stare at women darkly, fantasizing what they would look like naked and moaning beneath him, but then, the pervasive thought of his 'mind train' and his unnatural sexual appetite made him question if this was all still normal. He was coming to the conclusion that this wasn't healthy, especially since he had kept it a secret for so long and it was constantly on his mind, making him forgetful of small details. The neglected groceries were one such example. He wondered about consulting a therapist about this, but before he could delve into the idea, the _real_ train has arrived. It was time to go. The subway was markedly crowded today and he was further distracted by an arguing couple, that all thoughts of seeking professional help slipped from his mind. Once he was at the office, it was all business deals and proposals that he focused on and thoughts of understanding his compulsion and pursuing professional counseling eventually disappeared altogether.

His colleagues at work were unaware of his behavior because underneath it all, he feared their scrutiny over his unnatural appetite for sex, invalidating his own delusions that he's still conforming to the sexual norm. He had even made it a rule not to engage any female co-worker from the office in his sexual kinks. The reason for this is that he did not want it to be a hassle. He dated an attractive office mate once, but the spark ended the moment they had sex and he thought differently of her the day after. It got awkward. She left the company a few years back and he had imposed this rule ever since. He couldn't understand this about himself, why he avoided forming true relationships with anyone. The moment emotions get involved, he'd balk. He would be sexually attracted to someone, sure, but then once he becomes emotionally invested, he couldn't wait to get away from them. These thoughts niggled at him every once in a while and today seems to be that day wherein it came in frequent spurts. It was more of an annoyance to him, really.

Once he got to his floor, it startled him to find two men in his office. His brow furrowed in wonder over what they could be doing at his desk. He saw that they were dismantling his computer, taking the Hard Drive out, separating it from the tower.

"Excuse me, what's this about?"He asked them, his voice slightly testy.

One of the men responded."The boss asked us to check it, Sir. Some malware or virus almost hacked our servers. We traced it here."

These men were from IT. Erik warily eyed his Hard Drive that one of them carried. He tried to act nonchalant as he nodded his acquiescence at their intrusion. They were only doing their job. He was slightly concerned that they would find his browsing history and see the numerous hits on pornographic sites. He was glad he did not download any of that filth directly into his computer, otherwise that would have been embarrassing. When they left, he sat down, quietly upset that he did not have a means to fuel his compulsion. He was staring at the black emptiness of his monitor when he heard a knock at his door. It was his boss, Scott Summers.

"Hi!"Scott began, but Erik launched in on him before he could continue.

"What the hell is the meaning of this? Those IT guys just took my damned computer apart!"

"Whoa! Calm your tits, ok? I got a report about your computer. Didn't they tell you they traced a virus there? It almost caused half of our servers to go down if they hadn't found the source and blocked it."

"How the fuck did it get a virus?"Erik fumed.

"It seems your assistant might have done some late night porn browsing on your pc. Would you believe the shit IT found when they ran a remote trace? I'm talking about hoes, sluts, anal, double anal, penetration, interracial facial, man. We'll terminate him after we do an inquiry for formalities sake."

Erik nodded, pretending to be indignant over the entire matter. It was a good thing that as a precaution, he used his assistant's login all the time, especially when he returned to the office at night to use the company resources for his porn browsing. This was whenever his internet at home ran slow. Scott could attest that they both leave the office together so no one would associate the virus with him. He felt slightly guilty because his assistant, although an asshole, didn't deserve getting the boot for his pornographic fixation. Too bad Erik found his assistant's password and login, carelessly written on a post-it and left lying around.

"I came over to warn you ahead of time, but you're early as usual."

"Well, you know me,"

"I sure do. You'll be temporarily working in my office until we get this mess sorted out. You can move your things in. I had a desk set up for you."

"Thanks."

"Anytime. Great job bagging the Sentinel Project, by the way! That was just super!"

Erik cringed inwardly. Working at close quarters with Summers? Just his fucking luck. For some reason, Scott had always reminded him of Ned Flanders from The Simpsons. He's such a goddamned goody-two-shoes. Who uses the word 'Super' nowadays? It would probably drive him up the wall if he stayed in a room with Scott for prolonged periods. Scott actually looked like he wanted to engage him in some more of this delightful conversation so Erik took this as his cue to stand up, mumbling that he needed to go get some coffee. Scott finally left him alone, attending to other things in the office. Erik wasn't really going for coffee. He made a bee-line for the men's room instead. He went into one of the stalls, locked the door and then he started quickly pulling on some tissues from the tissue dispenser. As an Obsessive-Compulsive, he began wiping at the seat of the toilet, flinging the tissue into the bowl and then he immediately kicked at the lever of the flush, together with wrangling his zipper open, desperate for release. He began to fondle his cock, propping himself up against the wall as he used his hand to satisfy himself. He breathed quietly through his nose instead of moaning so as not to draw anyone's attention.

He couldn't stand it; staying in that room, with Scott watching his every move. He couldn't visit a porn site on his current computer and it frustrated the hell out of him. His leg bounced restlessly beneath the table as he flung Scott a look of pure loathing. Scott was talking to someone animatedly on his cellphone, laughing with insincere exuberance that it was all Erik could do not to punch the fucker in the mouth. Denied of his porn and a means to relieve himself, he couldn't focus on doing his job. Scott later called for a meeting and gave them that mind-numbing speech about cyber-security. The day went about in a blur and afterwards, Scott was inviting him out for a drink with some of their office pals. Although Erik appeared calm and collected on the surface, he was itching to get back home to watch some porn. However, it would appear odd to Scott if he refused to go out with the group. Scott had already baited him with a casual inquiry.

"Are you doing anything tonight?"

"Nothing. Why?"

"Come with me, then. The guys and I are going to the usual spot for some drinks."

"I don't know, Scott. What did the Missus, say?"Erik joked lightly.

Scott puffed his chest out, holding his hands up."The Missus approves. So come with?"

 

"A toast, to Erik and our successful acquisition of the Sentinel company. We couldn't have done it without you, Erik!"Scott said out loud and Erik could only smirk faintly as their drinking buddies, Armando Munoz and Bobby Drake along with Scott himself patted his back for a job well done. They made cheery noises, made up of manly hoots and howls as they threw back their heads, drinking their Tequila shots, straight up. Their favorite spot, called The Blackbird attracted a plethora of corporate clientele out for a night of casual drinking or simply just to unwind.

Grimacing after the Tequila burned a trail down his throat, Scott flung a glance towards the bar, ogling an attractive woman who hung out with her girlfriends.

"Wow, she's hot!"

Erik quickly darted a look towards three women along with the guys. His eyes instantly settled upon a blond woman wearing a gray suit.

"Gray suit?"Erik asked, but that goes without saying. She's indeed the hottest woman in that bar tonight.

"Think I could talk to her? I should talk to her, shouldn't I?"Scott enthused and although Erik didn't say anything, he found his boss' attempts at machismo laughable. Scott was too much of a wimp to even cheat on his wife. He's only mouthing off, trying to act cool before his employees, but Erik knew the truth about Scott. They've been working together for years and Erik knew Scott believed in that fidelity bullshit. Erik smiled at Scott knowingly, but Scott misunderstood what it meant.

"You should go talk to her,"Erik pretended to encourage his boss, raising his glass in a salutation to Scott.

"I should!"Scott said excitedly, gearing himself up. He clinked his glass against Erik's glass, oblivious to the crafty glances between his men. He knocked back his beer, exhaling a bracing breath and then he stood up and strode towards the women, chatting them up animatedly, trying his best to charm them. Erik and the others chuckled quietly, watching Scott with evident ridicule. _The idiot forgot to remove his wedding ring!_

"Twenty bucks says he fucks it up."Erik murmured to them.

Armando and Bobby tried to stifle their laughter as Erik stood up and walked over to Scott in the guise of joining him. As Erik drew near, he could hear Scott's pathetic attempts at ingratiating himself with the ladies, offering to pay for their drinks, only to get shot down by the blond beauty.

"No, I told you, I had it."Scott said with a little less enthusiasm, because he could see that she wasn't interested in him at all.

"No, I have it."

"I'll get the next round then-"Scott offered again.

"Sure."The blond woman said, evidently disinterested and then her eyes went to Erik as he leaned upon the bar to join them. Erik immediately knew that she's attracted to him. Her eyes lingering on him as Scott tried to engage her with his flattery.

"You're a strong, independent woman. I like that."

"Thank you!"Her eyes were now only on Erik.

Scott knew he blew it with her, but he didn't want to seem like he'd made a fool of himself so he persisted. He suddenly noticed Erik and placed an arm around him, drawing him close."This guy right here, nailed it today."

His boss stared at him intently, almost relieved that he was there."I want you to know you nailed it today. You're pitch was amazing. You're the man!"

Erik shrugged nonchalantly, as if it wasn't that big of a deal. The blond woman handed him her untouched shot and called the bartender for another one. She lifted the shot glass towards Erik, her eyes raking in his quiet seduction.

"Let's drink to that then! Cheers! To nailing it-"

Everyone uttered their cheers and drank their shots.

Later that night Erik fucked the blond woman under a deserted bridge. She left the bar alone, parting with her friends and she conveniently had her car with her. She offered to give Erik a ride and things took off from there, after Erik escorted a drunken Scott into a taxi. They still had their clothes on as Erik rammed his cock into her while the blond woman (he could only refer to her as the blond woman because he couldn't recall her name) wrapped her legs around his waist, moaning with her head thrown back as Erik slammed her up against the wall, thrusting and spending into her. She knew the game and didn't offer her phone number to him after and he quietly thanked her for that.

Erik had a languid smile upon his face as he entered the main entrance of his apartment, looking forward to watching some porn and jacking off while he was at it. Perhaps he could even call in a hooker, to celebrate getting one on Scott. Then, Erik received the shock of his life when he found his mother, Edie, waiting for him in the lobby of his apartment building. He knew her face the moment he saw her, even though he hadn't seen her in years.

"What are you doing here?"

"You don't sound too happy to see me-"Edie said with some forced sarcasm. She sounded haggard and she looked the part, with bags under her eyes and a disheveled appearance, her curly, graying hair looking frazzled.

Erik ran a frustrated hand through his hair, doing his best to control the annoyance in his voice."You can't just pop up on me like this! I could have made arrangements for you!"

"I tried to call you all day, but it seems I couldn't reach you on your cell phone-"

"I recently changed my phone number!"Erik said gruffly, causing Edie to stop and regard him sadly.

"I'm sorry to come here on such short notice Erik, but it's an emergency. Your Uncle's got cancer and they referred him to a hospital here in the city. It's bad, Erik. He doesn't have much time left. I just came from the hospital and I need a place to stay. It's only for a few days-"

Erik grew still at that. No. He couldn't have her staying in his apartment. It would feel like high school again. Back when he was in high school and living with his parents, he used to lock himself up in his room whenever he masturbated, quietly moaning into his pillow so no one would hear as the heat of his sexual fantasies overcame him. When everyone was asleep, he'd take out his tattered porn magazines and wank away under a nightlight, wiping his come as quickly as he possibly could afterwards. Hence, his obsession with cleanliness and order.

"Erik?"His mother asked, brow furrowing at his hesitation.

Erik finally found his voice."I can book you into a hotel. You don't need to stay at my place."

"Nonsense! I'm staying here. We're family, aren't we? I need someone around. _You_ need someone around-"

"Mom, I'm too busy! I can't right now! Besides, I'm not that close to Uncle Erich-"Erik said in a strained voice. He felt like a juvenile in her presence.

Edie's lips disappeared into a thin line. She couldn't hide the disappointment she felt over Erik's behavior and seeing that look upon her face just angered Erik. He mightily struggled with himself, controlling his facial expression before speaking once more.

"Sorry, I-"

"Erik it doesn't matter if you weren't close to your Uncle. He's part of the family and he's my brother. Can't you at least spare a few days for me?"

Erik sighed, nodding reluctantly."Sure. Ok."

Edie smiled at him uneasily. She tried to reach for his cheek, but he abruptly moved away from her, as if he didn't want her touching him. Erik gestured towards the elevators.

"Come on, let's head up. Where are your bags?"

Edie lifted the medium-sized suitcase at her side."This is all I have with me,"

Erik took her suitcase and placed a hand to his mother's back, leading the way.

He didn't really want anyone around his apartment because he didn't want anyone intruding in on his privacy, judging him. Especially his mother. He thought the days when she hovered over him and smothered him were long gone. Now she's here and she's going to put a damper on things. He won't be calling in any hookers; he won't be able to watch porn freely. He usually had the volume turned up on his laptop whenever he watched. He'd have to hide his stash of skin flicks and pornographic magazines. Before he let her in, he informed her he had to 'tidy up' the place. He hurriedly threw everything dirty and depraved into his bedroom closet and locked it. When he finally let her in, the first thing she did was to comment on how cold and impersonal his room felt while sitting before his dining table.

Erik just shrugged and turned on the heater."Good thing I have a guest room. You can sleep there for now. I'll get you some sheets-"

"Erik."

Erik turned to face his mother."What?"

"How are you? How have you been? You've been avoiding everyone for some time now. You know, your dad asks about you-"

"I'm fine! I'm just busy-"Erik said irritably.

"Too busy even for Christmas or for holidays?"Edie said, lifting an eyebrow at him. Erik regarded her with contempt, wanting to take refuge in his bedroom. He was preparing her some coffee and he couldn't help it when he slammed the cup down on the counter, causing Edie to jump slightly in her seat. Erik wearily shook his head.

"Mom. Don't. Just don't."

"What? What's wrong with wanting to have you around? Are you still hung up on what happened _before_?"

Erik couldn't deal with this. He poured her a cup of coffee and then he placed it before her."Here's your coffee. I'm going to bed. Get your sheets from the cabinet at the door!"

"Erik-"His mother began, but he had already closed his door on her.

More often than not, he'd be on his laptop watching porn at this hour and drinking beer, but with his mother nearby, listening to porn stars moaning out loud from his laptop and masturbating to the glorious depravity of it was just inconceivable. It felt awkward to him. He decided to put some earphones on to watch his porn privately, but then the sound of his mother sobbing loudly from outside managed to reach him when he adjusted his earphones. He pulled the earphones off and then he put aside his laptop. He got up and placed his ear to the wall. His mother had stopped sobbing and now she's sniffling quietly, as if she grew conscious of her outburst.

He couldn't stand it. He felt ill due to her presence in his apartment and because of the sudden flood of memories she brought with her. Sooner or later, she'd start asking questions again and she'd force him into a conversation. He decided to go for a run, just to get the restlessness out of his system. He donned his running outfit and plugged in the strains of some classical music into his ear. It was Bach's Prelude & Fugue No. 10 in E Minor, the music coming from his cell phone, which he'd slipped into the pocket of his pants. He was just like any night jogger, running down the squalid streets, beneath the streetlights and the decaying and run-down façade of several buildings, his earphones barely blotting out the clamor of the city at night. He looked impressive as he ran; although he had that gangling, loping stride common in long-legged people, there's a gracefulness to his movements, like a well-oiled machine. He'd jog in place at the stoplights and then he'd run and run, until exhaustion took over. It was half past one when he got back home. Only silence from the guest room. Good. He took a quick shower and tucked in for the night, but he could barely sleep. The train. The fucking train was back in his head and that was all he thought of as he slipped into unconsciousness.

 

Morning came and he prepared a begrudging breakfast for himself and his mother. They spoke only in monosyllables as Erik got ready for work. Erik couldn't look at his own mother in the eye. He cast her a quick glance and he didn't like what he saw. She looked bedraggled; lifeless. Of course she'd feel that way, knowing that her brother was near death. That, and getting no sympathy from her only son. There might have been a time when he loved her deeply, perhaps he still did, but he couldn't stand her presence now for some reason. Seeing her made him feel as if he had a weight on his chest and he couldn't breathe. He helped her get a cab back to the hospital and then he took his usual route to the subway to head to his office. He was irritable and listless as he went about his day. He desperately needed his porn fix. Watching porn on his cellphone and jacking off in one of the cubicles in the men's room wasn't enough. He needed more or else he couldn't function.

The days drew on and his mother remained at his apartment, longer than necessary for him and to top it off, Scott couldn't get a new desktop installed into his office yet, hampered by the trappings of approval and paperwork. Erik couldn't even bring his laptop to work because someone might actually see what was on it. He took longer hours going back home, spending his time walking out on the streets and smoking, even making attempts to hit on women at some of the bars he frequented, but every time he thought of his mother, waiting for him at his apartment, he would lose his sex drive. He needed her out of his apartment soon or he'd lose his mind. Having her around dredged up past hurts he didn't want to think about anymore.

He got home one night and found that her suitcase wasn't there. He exhaled a sigh of relief. She finally left. She didn't leave a note or call him on his new cellphone number, so he assumed that was that. He took out his laptop and he placed it on his small desk by the window, leaving it open at a pornographic webcam site. His usual sex chat mates didn't show up yet so he closed the laptop and entered his bathroom to jerk off at the sink. He was moaning loudly, staring at himself in the mirror as he pleasured himself; tugging frantically at his cock repeatedly and then to his immense shock and mortification, his mother suddenly opened the bathroom door and saw him masturbating naked before the mirror. She uttered a tiny scream while Erik cursed under his breath, his face flaming up with a dull flush.

"Oh, fuck!"

His mother immediately closed the door while Erik scrambled for the door handle and locked it, his entire body shaking with both his humiliation and his thwarted orgasm. His cock had shriveled up, causing him pain. He quickly wrapped a towel around his waist and stalked over to his mother, sitting upon the sofa.

"What, are you fucking spying on me?"

Edie looked as equally mortified as he was, but the only difference is he's mad at her, mad enough to roughly grab her shoulders and shake her about.

"Are you fucking spying? What do you want from me? Why did you come here? Why?"He screamed into her face wrathfully as he shook her and his mother could only sob and cry out for him to stop.

"I thought you fucking left! Why are you even here?"Erik demanded from her and Edie answered him in a hitching breath.

"E-Erich's wife asked me to stay at the hospital, because she thought today was the day, but Erich is still-"Edie trailed off brokenly, tears streaming down her trembling cheeks. He blinked at her, realizing what he'd done. He'd hurt his own mother. He staggered away from her, gasping, tears starting from his anguished eyes and then he locked himself up in the bathroom. Edie tentatively knocked on his bathroom door.

"Erik, I'm sorry-"

Erik sat lifelessly upon the tiled floor, willing her to just go away. He reached for the shower handle and turned it on, perhaps to drown her out or perhaps to trick her into thinking he was taking a shower. A lengthy silence followed and then he heard her dragging the suitcase towards the front door and the sound of the door snapping close. Erik took a bath, but he couldn't even feel clean, not after having his mother see him like this. He's a grown-up already and yet he was beating off like a high school pervert. To his horror, his mother had opened his laptop and had seen his porn while he was in the bathroom. He angrily unplugged his laptop and slapped it on to his bed. He stared listlessly at his closed laptop, his legs folded close to his chest, thinking how depraved he'd become and how awful it is that his mother had to see him like this.

Despondent and fueled by his rage, Erik took out several black trash bags and he began to empty out boxes of pornographic magazines and sex films into it, along with his sex toys. He smashed his laptop on to an extension of the wall and threw it into the trash bag as well. He covered everything in leftovers and other trash and then he threw it all out into a dumpster outside. Now he had nothing, nothing to calm the sexual aching within his body. He sat in his bed, sobbing quietly. When he'd gotten over his bout of crying, he stared out at the city lights under the dark sky. He wondered when all this began, when he'd started to get his urges. For some strange reason, he can't seem to remember.

He didn't go to work the next day, calling in sick for the first time. He hasn't called in sick before. He sat upon his sofa, vacantly watching cartoons when his mother entered his apartment, placing her suitcase close by the door. He had given her a duplicate key, damn it. They didn't say anything to each other at first. Edie sat next to him and they watched the cartoon show together in absolute silence. His mother suddenly turned to face him.

"I'm sorry."

Erik didn't say anything. He continued to watch cartoons, pretending as if the show absorbed his attention. Edie hesitated, but she plodded on.

"Erik, we both know something's wrong and we can't keep avoiding it. Please, talk to me-"

He glared at her, wanting to cuss her out and say what's on his mind, but he stifled himself. He drew away from her, rubbing his hands over his face."Look, just forget it. This isn't working out, obviously. You need to leave. Go stay with Aunt Ruth-"

Edie looked him over intently, her sad eyes searching his own."I make you angry all the time and I don't know why."

Erik spoke in a sarcastic tone, mockingly looking her over."No? You don't know why? You trap me. You force me into a corner and you trap me."

Edie's eyes trembled with tears, the expression on her face filled with sadness that it stabbed at Erik's heart.

"I'm just trying to help you, Erik-"

He just about exploded when he heard her say those words. He grabbed her roughly by the chin, forcing her to look into his angry eyes."How are you helping me, huh? How are you helping me? You come in here and you're a weight on me. You drag me down by bringing up the past, carrying around your fucking emotional baggage and forcing it on me!"

Edie began to cry, her voice taking on a trembling quality."You're my son and you need someone to help you, Erik. I'm offering you my help. If I left, I would never hear from you again. You'd shut me out like everyone else. Don't you think that's sad?"

Erik pushed her away, disgusted by her melodrama."Why is it always so dramatic with you? Everything is always the end of the world."

"Erik, I'm just trying to talk to you-"

Erik shook his head, scoffing."I don't wanna talk."

He suddenly stood up."I'm going out."

Edie didn't know what else to say to get through to her son."I'll...I'll wait for you."

"No. I don't want you here. When I get back, I don't want to see any sign of you."He said with detached coldness.

Erik went to his closet to put on his running clothes. He could hear her crying in the living room, but he hardened himself against her, even though he was really dying on the inside. He fought back the tears that started from his eyes, focusing on his hatred of her. He blamed her for how he turned out and he wanted to justify his actions by calling her out on smothering him. He grabbed his running shoes and then he left without another look back.

 

Now he understood his strange fixation on crashing trains. He initially thought his preoccupation was due to his constant association with the subway; everyday going in and out of this mode of transport, despite how dilapidated and paint-sprayed and dirty it was; despite smelling of piss and old hobos. He came to realize that he's actually the train; a train wreck about to happen. An engine of mass destruction plowing everything in its way, starting with his mother. Seeing her pain broke something within him and now there's no stopping this train. Not anymore. The momentum of its crashing already propelled him. He thought, if he's going to crash, he might as well rend and tear as much as he can until he gets to the end; until this destruction comes to a screeching halt, destroying everything it touches. He went to a bar and tried to seduce a woman who's actually out there with her boyfriend, playing billiards. When the boyfriend threatened him with violence, Erik described how he'd fuck her until she's clawing at his back, moaning for more. He laughed insolently when the boyfriend left with his girlfriend, the guy seething with rage, but not wanting to make a scene. Erik drank by himself, ignoring the disgusted stares of the other patrons who overheard his lewd talk. This is what he liked best about anonymity. He could say and do anything he wanted and he wouldn't care about getting judged, whereas if he's emotionally invested or tied down by conformity, he'd dwell on trying to please people and he's sick of it.

The moment he stepped outside the bar, he didn't realize that the girl's boyfriend lay in wait for him. He surprised Erik with a punch in the gut and when Erik fell, the fucker kicked his face and then the guy kicked him repeatedly in the stomach. The man spat on him afterwards, cursing him.

He lost consciousness and no one even helped him up. He remained at the side of the bar, his face bleeding and his stomach hurting like hell. When he came to, he got to his knees and staggered about, willing the pain to go away. He still didn't want to go home. He's not done plowing through with his wreckage just yet. He had to fuck someone tonight. Almost anyone will do. Anyone. He decided to go to this exclusive Asian hooker he knew. Notwithstanding his state, he went to her apartment and she arranged to have another hooker join them. He asked her to make sure that the other woman is 'clean'. He then indulged in every depravity he could think off, fucking the two whores. He was insatiable that night, blindly fondling their breasts and their asses, sucking and licking every inch of skin; their bodies limned together that he couldn't tell whose limb belonged to whom anymore. He was melting with them in this delicious sexual frenzy, losing himself until he felt blissfully emptied, his mind wiped clean by the constant state of orgasm. He pounded his hips into every orifice he could possess, but still...after he'd done the deed, it rendered him with a feeling of emptiness. He felt like a bottomless pit. Although his bodily need became sated, his mind still hungered. The need was still there.

When his time with the women ended, he took a quick bath in the Asian hooker's bathroom and then he was back out on the streets. He rode the subway train again, not caring where it was taking him. He was on the train for a long while. When he got off somewhere unfamiliar, he tried to enter one of the clubs in the area. The bouncer refused to let him in after seeing his banged-up state. The bouncer could sense he meant trouble. Erik didn't oppose him any further. The guy had his posse with him and he knew they would deal him a world of hurt if he forced his way in. He looked around desperately, hoping to find the release he needed. He needed his fix. He needed it right now. Then, his eyes alighted on the last place on earth he would have entered. His eyes fell on a gay bar. The garish sign at the top spelled out The Hellfire club, its pulsing red signage like a red alert meant to keep people away. Erik didn't even think twice. He entered the place and there...he finally found his cure. He just didn't know it at that time.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Here it is, chapter 2. Let me reiterate again that I do not support drug use and whatever I wrote here is purely for plot device. As for the symptoms and conditions of addiction, it is based off my online research, which I will keep private as I do not want to influence anyone with my sources. As for my choice of drug for Charles, it is very relevant to the plot and you'll see what I mean as we go along. ;) My fic may seem similar to some other popular fics out there, but I think this fic has my own personal touch to it ^_^
> 
> And I know I'm not the best writer out there, but again, I write for personal reasons. I don't ask to be compensated. I only wish that you would extend me some kindness and respect, as I would do the same for everybody. I admit to sucking so bad, that I lose my nerve sometimes, but I write for the people who enjoy my fics. So to my haters, please hate on. To my devoted and supportive readers, you have my sincere thank you and my love.

 

"You must have mistaken my place for a charitable institution, Charles. Last I saw the sign still says Hellfire club. Now if that's the name of a charity, I might as well offer up my ass to my homo-faggot clients outside and have us a gang bang session for free!"Shaw said derisively, finishing it off with a jeering laugh.

Charles stood before his dealer with a slight stoop, looking pallid and sweaty, his body possessed by minute tremors. He fidgeted and rubbed at the crook of his covered elbow, as if he has an itch upon that area that won't go away. The symptoms of a Heroin addict. Charles' constricted pupils only emphasized the vacancy in his stare, although his expression was full of his desperate imploring.

Aw, the fucking smackhead needs his fix, Shaw thought cruelly. Charles was once a lucrative client of his over the past few months. However, Charles had run out of college money and Shaw wasn't about to give any of his Pure H for free. Someone had burned him over that before. The Heroin he'd been dealing wasn't exactly the purest stuff out there, but it was certainly superior to anything ever offered out in the streets.

"Please, Shaw. I promise I'll pay you. My parents are gonna send me some money soon-"Charles said in a tight voice.

"I've heard that same old song before, boy. That ain't gonna fly with me. Don't you have any valuables? Gadgets? What about your cellphone?"

Charles' chin trembled, brow furrowed in apology and feeling quietly mortified at his destitution."I...I already sold them-"

"Well, shit, boy! We don't have anything to talk about then! Come back when you can actually pay for the good stuff. Otherwise, go buy some cheap brown sugar to tide you over-"

Shaw's indifference to his plight shattered Charles. He desperately needed some pure heroin and only Shaw supplied quality drugs in the area. Charles tried to draw near, his expression panicked, but Victor Creed, Shaw's personal goon, suddenly grabbed Charles' collar to prevent him from touching his boss.

"Please Shaw! I need it! I need it bad!"Charles wailed brokenly, tears streaming down his cheeks. Charles tried to push the thug away, but failed to do so. Vic was just too strong. Shaw sniggered at Charles' suffering. He leaned upon the table on his elbows, one costly cigarette dangling from between the fingers of his bejeweled right hand; He only wore silk shirts and satin pants, looking more like a pimp than a club owner. He exchanged calculating glances with his goon. Shaw made a gesture and Victor suddenly pushed Charles on to the floor. Charles, losing what little dignity he had left crawled on his hands and knees towards Shaw and sobbed upon the bastard's thighs.

"Shaw! Shaw please!"Charles begged, his shoulders hitching from his sobbing.

Shaw leaned back upon his chair this time, watching Charles grovel and beg. He enjoyed seeing the boy like this. He reached out and touched Charles' chin, making Charles look up at him.

"You know what, if you're going to squirm in the mud, might as well squirm in deeper, Charles. Go find yourself a guy willing to pay for fucking a smackhead like you and maybe, just maybe, I'll give you some of the good stuff-"

Charles' head quickly snapped up and he regarded Shaw with a look of utter terror. He didn't want to do that. Not again. He had prostituted himself several times before to get money for a couple of bags of heroin when his college money came in late and the last john he took on raped him so violently he ended up in the hospital. He had to sell his computer and his valuables to pay for his hospitalization and his drugs. That was when his parents discovered his drug addiction and now they refused to send him any more money. He had lied to Shaw. He didn't have any money coming. He tried to get a job, but one look at his blank eyes and potential employers send him packing. They instantly knew that he's a junkie. He was going to ask help from some relatives to give him some money, but he couldn't even bargain with Shaw. The fucker wants his payment up front. He frantically caressed Shaw's thigh.

"C-Can't I just suck you off?"

Shaw made his disgust evident and he slapped Charles' hands away.

"Are you fucking kidding me? I don't go for fags! Get this piece of shit out of here, Vic! He's making me sick!"

Victor hauled Charles up and dragged him towards Shaw's door. He roughly pushed Charles against the opposite wall."Don't come back here until you can pay for your smack, asshole!"

Victor slammed the door on him afterwards. Charles slid down on to the floor, his back still to the wall and he trembled as he sobbed, pressing his anguished face to his knees. He knew his tears wouldn't move these bastards, but he felt so hopeless; defeated.

_How has it come to this? How could I have sunk so low? This isn't right-_

Charles slowly made his way downstairs through Shaw's narrow stairway. The Hellfire club was still empty. Shaw had yet to open the place out to his gay patrons. The red lights were still off and the sex stalls still reeked of last night's iniquities. There aren't any doors for privacy. What laughably passed for privacy were plastic curtains lining up the stalls, in case someone wanted to watch the action. This particular club purveyed to gay men for a night of random sex between strangers, with glory holes and display rooms for public sex. Although private rooms were available, they aren't used as frequently due to the cost of using them, unlike the free stalls, which most people preferred. Further outside, there's a large bar and a dance floor, which served as a front for what was actually happening inside. Despite the free use of the stalls, Shaw received remuneration from his gay patrons through other means: the rental of Shaw's sexual paraphernalia; costumes and sex toys. The infamous sex swings and restraints, every manner of sexual filth known to gay men. The condoms sold in Shaw's establishment also costs five times more than if you came with your own condoms. Lube was also expensive and even though the patrons don't pay for the stalls, they have to pay the bouncers for keeping their valuables. If the clients stayed longer while their articles are safely stowed, the bouncers will demand more payment. It was very profitable for Shaw, aside from the club and his covert drug trade.

 

Charles dejectedly made his way home. He lived in a run-down apartment close by after getting kicked out of school. His rent was past due already and he knew that any day now, he'd also lose whatever passed for a roof over his head. He'd be homeless. He didn't even know if his parents would even take him back. They probably will. However, they'd force him into rehab and once he got home, they'd constantly remind him of his failures and he'd rather die than live like that again. He thought college was his freedom, but he ended up a disappointment as his father had predicted. His father reluctantly indulged his desire to study art in a city college and his father had foreseen his inevitable failure. Thoughts of his father embittered him. He entered his dilapidated room and he went towards the sink, which had a cracked mirror hanging over it.

Seeing his reflection, Charles realized why Shaw didn't want anything to do with him. He looked like a total junkie. His hair was a greasy mess, his clothes grimy because he'd been wearing the same clothes for days now and his face was unshaven and haggard. Who'd want to be around him? He lathered up some soap and washed his face. With a slightly tremulous hand, he shaved himself, brushed his teeth and then he went outside to thoroughly bathe in the public bathroom of his apartment building. He was glad he didn't run into his landlord. He slipped into a cream-colored long-sleeved shirt, to cover the track marks in the crook of his elbows. He used to shoot up and dab concealer over it to hide the track marks, but as time passed, he didn't seem to care anymore. All he wanted to do was to get high and to sleep, neglecting everything else. He abandoned his studies after his former party friends shunned him and afterwards, he abandoned living like a normal person altogether. He didn't know how his sometime 'friends' managed their drug intake, unlike him. They were actually doing quite fine in college, but for some reason, drugs had a different effect on his life. He initially took drugs to rebel, but now, he needed more and more H to prevent withdrawal symptoms and to even function. Pure H used to help him chill out with a heavenly high, but as time passed, he developed a dependence for the drug. He used to think he wouldn't get addicted because he didn't have any cravings, but the moment he got junk sick—only getting relief when he took a hit—did he realize that he's officially an addict.

When he didn't find a clean pair of pants to wear along with his shirt, he rummaged through his suitcase until he found an old pair of jeans so faded that they looked almost white. Nevertheless, he slipped into this pair so he'd look presentable. He combed his hair this time and looked himself over critically. He knew he was attractive and he'd had his fair share of boyfriends while he was in college. He was dressing up for a reason. He was going back to the Hellfire club tonight and he was going to do what Shaw wanted. He's selling himself once more for sex.

When he returned to the Hellfire club, a crowd was already building up on the dance floor. Charles purchased a tiny hit of brown sugar from the bartender. He needed something that would help him relax and give him some courage. Brown sugar was very cheap after all, with Heroin coming to an overall decline due to the rise of more popular drugs, but still, the pure stuff didn't come cheap. Brown sugar however, only had a smidgen of opiates in it. It was mostly composed of sugar and lactose, which gave it some sweetness. He pawned his last valuable possession at a pawn shop earlier, a watch given to him by his father. He didn't want to inject his brown sugar because he knew that if he injected the stuff and it wasn't pure enough, he'd destroy a vein in his arm and cause his flesh to rot. He'd seen gangrenous-looking abscesses occur in some users who purchased low quality dope. He'd also seen some of them losing limbs. He didn't want to end up like them. The best way to take his brown sugar would be to chase the vapors using foil or snorting it up through his nose, using a tube. He decided to use foil, even though his hands had grown palsied due to the beginnings of withdrawal. He locked himself up in one of the lavatories to take his drugs privately. He came out after, his smell redolent of mixed fruits, the last vestiges of brown sugar smoke hanging in the air. The high wasn't as phenomenal as with pure white, but nevertheless, it still gave him a slight high. That was the good thing about purchasing or hitting drugs from Shaw's establishment. He'll sell some cheap ones, but at least there's still some quality to it. Shaw didn't want people dying at Hellfire due to some badly cut stuff, which would result in a drug bust, ruining his entire operation. Shaw certainly didn't give a fuck about any of his clients. He's only in it for the profit and for keeping Hellfire off the radar, even paying some cops to keep quiet about it.

Most of the people in this place had drugged or blank stares and Charles saw himself in them. They're misfits like him; people looking for something to end their pain. People who want to forget. He belonged to them and they belonged to him. This was what his drug-addled mind thought of as he walked down the narrow corridor towards the sex rooms, the music from the dance floor reverberating within. The room was dim, illuminated by neon red lights that lined the upper part of the crumbling walls. Men were already fucking in the stalls; some of them French-kissing in the corridors. Threesomes, glory holes and some S&M occurred in each stall as well. One platinum blond twink was in a gang bang session in the main public room for all to see, with several men lining up to sodomize him. He's obviously a raver, shouting loudly that he wanted everyone to fuck him, too glassy-eyed and drugged that he didn't care who used him. Charles thought that boy's going to die soon. Charles dreaded that one day, he might end up like him, but he quickly shied away from that awful thought.

All manner of perversion played out in every corner. Hairy and tattooed men writhing against in each other in the sweat and heat of the moment, wallowing in the filth of it all like rutting animals. Charles had hoped he'd find a voyeur or a bystander looking for sex. However, most of them already had their own fuck partners, too engrossed in their dirty lust to notice him and most of the bystanders settled on watching the show and jacking off by themselves. He preferred it that way. He'll be picky this time. He didn't want to get raped again. He wanted to find the right guy.

With security cameras installed, Shaw had only one rule he imposed upon his randy clients. They aren't allowed to record a video or take a picture of the action within the stalls. Beefy thugs roamed about, making sure no one took out their cameras or their phones for this reason. Shaw didn't want this depravity posted online and traced to his place. Hence, before the fags entered the stalls, their phones are left under the care of the bouncers, regardless if it was too dim to take pictures. Charles kept walking down the length of the corridor, not knowing that on the other side of the room, Erik was emerging, finding no suitable partner himself. Erik had exchanged dark stares with some men, but they were bigger than him and somewhat intimidating. He didn't want them topping him. He wanted to be the one on top, not the other way around. He was hoping to return near the entrance and have a go at the blond boy everyone else was lining up for.

Before he could do so, he locked gazes with a thin, dark-haired boy wearing a pale, long-sleeved shirt. He's attractive and young, Erik could tell even under the red lights. The boy was trying to come off as confident; a seductive, lazy smile forming upon his lips and his well-formed eyebrow arching up in a come-hither manner. His eyes however, told Erik a different story. There's something vulnerable and sad in his eyes. There's also the want. The hunger. Erik thought it was a mutual hunger, but Charles was thinking of something else. They deliberately walked towards each other, a silent pact made, meeting in the middle. Without saying anything, Erik reached for Charles' fair cheek and drew him close in a hungry kiss. He didn't even know this boy. He's a total stranger to him. He only knew what his body wanted. When they kissed, something electric passed between them; something clicked and it felt right. Charles felt it too. Erik didn't look like he had any violent tendencies. Even though Erik had on jogging clothes, Charles could tell he's an uptown desk worker because Erik's haircut gave him away. His expensive running shoes and the quality of his clothing was also a dead giveaway. Charles immediately noticed these particulars about Erik with just a look.

Charles moaned into Erik's mouth as they kissed passionately, their heads lolling about as they tried to accommodate each other. Charles pushed Erik against the wall, close to a stall where two Middle Eastern men fucked. The men ignored them, too preoccupied with their own arousal. Charles was a really good kisser. His tongue slid familiarly into Erik's mouth, darting in and teasing; nibbling playfully at Erik's lower lip and making Erik groan in pleasure. Erik's mouth tasted of strong whiskey and cigarettes while Charles' mouth tasted like toothpaste to Erik. Charles caressed Erik's chest and his shoulders while Erik somewhat resisted at first, but then he reached for the back of Charles' neck and his waist, drawing him close. Erik began to moan as Charles ground his hips against Erik's hips, rubbing against his aching sex, with slow, circling strokes. This was Erik's first homosexual encounter and he thought he wouldn't like it, but he did. Perhaps owing to his state of mind and his desire for self-destruction, he gave in. It actually awoke something within him. Whatever was happening between him and Charles, it was something thrilling and new, somewhat dangerous and dirtier than any encounter he'd ever had.

Erik breathed in and strangely enough, Charles smelled like Skittles. He grasped both of Charles' cheeks so they could continue with this sensuous, open-mouthed kiss, licking seductively at each other's lips, tasting each other; breathing each other's scent in. Erik pulled back to nuzzle Charles' burning cheek and then he suddenly deepened his kiss. Charles grew light-headed as Erik continued to kiss him this way. When Erik finally broke the kiss, they regarded each other darkly, gasping breathlessly, chests heaving and eyes roving over each other with a fervent desire to explore. Erik didn't ask Charles his name yet. He forced Charles to go down on his knees to suck him off. Charles expertly undid Erik's pants and pulled his cock out, running his fingers over the length of it, causing Erik to start up in shock. Charles smiled up at him.

"This ain't free, mister."

Erik nodded and Charles took Erik's cock into his mouth and sucked upon it strongly, distending his cheeks as he did so. Erik groaned out loud, throwing his head back, savoring the sensation of Charles' expert mouth. Charles licked the underside of Erik's cock, wrapping his lips upon the tip, almost as if he was kissing it and then he slowly began to take Erik's entire cock in, until Erik's huge cock touched the back of his throat. Charles gagged, but his gorge mercifully held itself together. He tightened his mouth over Erik's cock and Erik moaned again, his shoulders shaking at the delicious sensation of tongue and teeth upon the base of his sensitive cock. Charles began to move his head, bobbing forward carefully and then his movements grew faster. He kept his eyes closed as he gave Erik a deep-throated blowjob he won't ever forget, his ass thrusting out as he remained on his knees. Erik grimaced, closing his eyes too and he blindly reached for Charles' head, caressing the other's soft, wavy brown hair and forcing Charles to suck him deeper, until Charles' nose touched his pubic hair. Charles could faintly smell semen, as if Erik had jacked off earlier, but it didn't bother him. After all, Erik's an office worker, he did not likely fuck someone without a condom and besides that, Erik didn't look like he's familiar with gay sex. Charles immediately sensed this when Erik resisted him earlier. Charles smiled around Erik's cock as he sucked harder and faster, encouraged by Erik's groaning, which grew louder. Erik suddenly came into his mouth, the hot spurt of come going down his throat and Charles made gagging noises once more. He choked slightly, but he swallowed it all. When Erik climaxed, he tightened his grip on Charles' hair, grimacing, his head rolling back as he enjoyed his first gay blowjob.

Charles pulled back slowly, licking at his lips and smiling up at Erik in a simpering manner, holding on to his waist."You liked that?"

Erik nodded again, as if his head was a marionette's head on a string. He was too stunned by how amazing it felt to have Charles suck his cock. Charles held his hand up. Obviously, he wanted his money. For the price of having his cock sucked like this, Erik decided he wanted to explore and learn more about gay sex. He wanted Charles to be his first. He reached for Charles' hand and helped him up. He drew close and breathed into Charles' ear.

"How much if we...go all the way?"

Charles giggled and whispered back."I'm not exactly a sex worker, so I don't come cheap. I'm clean, in case you're concerned about that. If you want to fuck me, it will cost you two hundred dollars. I haven't even included the blow job and by the way, you came into my mouth without asking. That one will cost you forty bucks-"

Erik quickly pulled out his wallet and held out his money. Charles took it, immediately stuffing it into his pants pocket and then he touched Erik's chest.

"You want to do it here or in one of the private rooms? You have to pay for it though. The stalls we could at least use for free-"Charles purred. Charles looked around furtively and then he kissed Erik's cheek softly, murmuring his next response."If you want, we can do it in the men's room. They don't charge there, but it'll be our luck if we get a free cubicle. If not, we can wait until the first occupants are finished-"

Erik gave him a curious look and Charles giggled at his reaction. Charles caressed Erik's ear with gentle fingers, massaging his earlobe soothingly."You're new to this. I can tell. If you want it done right, I can teach you-"

Erik finally found his voice."Ok. We can do it in the men's room."

Charles pulled back, patting his cheek."Great! It's a deal, then. Wait for me at the bar. I just need to take care of something first-"

Erik suddenly reached for Charles' wrist. He wasn't a fool. He wanted to be sure Charles wasn't out to scam him."Where are you going?"

Charles laughed again, seeing Erik glowering at him."Relax! I just need to give this cash to the club owner and then we can do whatever you want. I'm yours for the night, after all-"

Reluctantly, Erik released Charles' wrist."Give me your ID. I want to know your real name, in case you bail out on me-"

The dark-haired boy giggled delightedly due to Erik's lack of faith in him. He took out his wallet and gave Erik his college ID."I'm Charles Xavier. Here's my ID. I need that back, by the way so don't lose it and don't worry so much. I'll find you! I promise!"

With that, Charles strutted off, disappearing into the growing throng of men in that narrow passage. Most of them are onlookers, watching the free sex happening around them. Erik ran his hands through his hair, sighing. He had thought that was the last he'll see of Charles. He headed out to the bar anyway and ordered a glass of whiskey. He fantasized about the blowjob Charles gave him. It was certainly different from how women do it. Just thinking about it gave him a stiff one. He wanted more of that. He took out Charles' ID and studied the boy's picture under the fluorescent lighting of the bar. He failed to appreciate the beauty of young boys before, but seeing Charles' effeminate features, his fair skin, slightly hooked nose and his bright blue eyes; that winsome smile and the tenderness of his expression, it stirred up Erik's fascination.

Charles couldn't believe his good luck. Erik fell into his lap like manna from the heavens. Not only was Erik a novice john, Erik paid him in full before he could even perform. He wasn't about to cheat Erik, though. That wasn't his plan. He knew if he did so and Erik reported it to Shaw, Shaw would ban him from the club, preventing him from obtaining his quality drugs. He planned on servicing Erik and giving him the best fuck of his life that he'll want more and it would benefit Charles further if Erik became his steady client. He really liked Erik. He smelled clean and his breath didn't stink. He was only glad no one nabbed Erik yet. He couldn't believe that someone as handsome as Erik would venture into Hellfire and not be with someone. He headed straight for Shaw's office on the upper level and presented Shaw his cash so as to get his fresh supply of pure H.

Shaw actually looked dumbfounded. He still had a cigarette clamped between his lips, the ash tumbling down his violet silk shirt. He slowly held up the cash that Charles laid out on his table."Where the fuck did you get the money so soon?"

Charles shrugged, his expression serious."I got a guy. He's rich. He's still waiting for me so could you please give me the stuff?"

Shaw sneered at Charles. He pulled on the handle of a drawer at his desk and then he held up a clear plastic bag filled with little plastic resealable baggies containing the purest Heroin Charles had ever tasted. Charles took the baggies out of the plastic bag, counting them and then he stuffed them into his pants pocket, his expression avid. Elated on the inside, Charles struggled to control the tremor within his hands. This will surely tide him over for a week.

"Pleasure doing business with you again, Charles."

Charles just nodded and hurriedly left Shaw. Although Shaw was his supplier, Shaw was cruel and sarcastic towards him. He couldn't stand the asshole. Victor even opened the door for Charles and when he left, the two men snickered mockingly. With certainty, Charles will keep coming back, demanding an increase of his supply until the day comes when he won't be able to come back. In a few months’ time, Shaw predicted that Charles would be dead. Smackheads like him don't last for very long.

 

Charles had his H kit stored in a cabinet in the men's room. He knew the guy who cleaned the toilets and he allowed Charles to stash his injecting kit there. Charles waited for the occupants of one of the men's room cubicles to vacate the place. Once the two men inside finished with their business, Charles entered and the smell assaulted his nostrils. The cubicle smelled strongly of sweat and spunk, but he didn't care. He took out one baggie, trying to contain his excitement as he prepared his injection. The small box containing his equipment had everything he needed. He wasn't a total smackhead like Shaw thought. He still kept it clean and he carefully monitored the dosage he took. He intends to test the purity of his purchase first so he's taking a small hit for now since he took some brown sugar earlier, even though both drugs came from the same drug family. He laid it all out on the cover of the toilet's tank after he wiped it clean with alcohol before laying out a plastic sheet over it. He then used the alcohol on his hands as well and he took out a small vial containing sterilized water, pouring it on to a spoon. He prepared the vials himself. The purpose of boiling the water wasn't to liquefy the H, but mainly to sterilize the water further. Pure H easily dissolves in water anyway. After combining the H and the water, he poured the contents in a small cupcake tin to cool off a bit and then he prepared his syringe. After his preparations, he pushed back his sleeve, tied the upper part of his arm after rubbing it clean with alcohol. He tapped around for a vein upon the crook of his elbow. Once he found a good vein, he released the tie and began to shoot up. When the drug started to kick in instantaneously, all was bliss. It was just a small hit, but it still gave him that amazing high, a sure sign that the batch Shaw sold him was of pure quality, as always. He sagged over the toilet tank, sighing contentedly. This was the best high, as good as the first high he felt when he took his first H.

_Like he was on top of the world. Like someone loved him._

He laughed softly to himself, just letting the warm feeling spread over his consciousness. He began to nod off, too blissfully languid to care about anything else. His eyes suddenly opened.

Oh. His john. He still had to meet with his john. He staggered upright and with a strange self-possession and fastidiousness, he began to put away his equipment. Swaying slightly due to the sudden heady rush. He stowed the box in the men's room cabinet, locking it away with a key given to him by the men's room sup so he could access his kit freely. He put a sign over the door of the cubicle, which read 'under maintenance' to prevent people from entering. Waiting while no one was around, he tied the upper part of the cubicle's door with wire so no one will attempt to enter. He's saving the place for him and his delectable john. Erik was just so handsome. He wouldn't mind giving Erik his body over and over. He was heading for the bar when Erik met him halfway at the narrow passage. Erik appeared anxious and irritable, having to wait for Charles.

"Hi!"Charles greeted him, wrapping his arms about Erik and giving him a sloppy kiss. Erik pulled back and took a good look at Charles. Definitely as cute as his picture, only looking drugged around the eyes and then Erik realized why Charles took his time meeting with him. He had to buy his drugs and shoot up. He's a drug addict. He used Erik's money to buy his drugs. Nevertheless, he still wanted to have his way with Charles. He did buy Charles' services after all and Charles didn't look like he was going to renege on their agreement. Charles nuzzled his neck and licked at his throat seductively.

"Baby, I'm going to give you such a good time that you won't ever forget me-"Charles murmured against his cheek. Charles tried to widen his eyes, looking Erik over.

"What's your name?"

"Erik-"

"Is that with a C or K?"Charles slurred.

"With a K. Look, let's get this going. Shouldn't we head out to the men's room?"

Charles rolled his eyes slowly at Erik, exhaling an exasperated sigh."What's the rush? We have time. I want to go dancing first!"

"What the hell did you take anyway?"Erik said, sounding annoyed.

Charles just giggled in response and grabbed Erik's wrist, leading him back towards the dance floor, with its pulsating, colored lights and the sound system so loud that the noise pounded right into Erik's temples. The dancers were all male, of course, gyrating and shuffling along to the music. Erik didn't feel like dancing. He wanted to get Charles alone and he wanted to fuck him. When Charles tried to get him to dance, Erik just grunted irritably and headed for the bar, waiting for Charles to follow him. Charles wasn't about to give in. He grabbed the closest guy who wasn't dancing and he whispered something into the guy's ear. Both Charles and the stranger laughed and then they started to dance to a slow, synthpop tune. The song was "Nightcall" by Kavinsky. Charles looked like he was into his dance partner, but his eyes were only on Erik. Erik didn't know why, but his frustration over not having Charles gave him a raging hard on. He watched darkly as Charles seductively swayed, grinding his hips and his ass against his dance partner, a wicked smile and a slutty look in his eyes. Charles bit his lower lip and turned his head about restlessly upon his partner's shoulder while the stranger caressed his hips as their bodies remained glued together, their sexual bump and grind frustrating Erik even further. When Erik couldn't stand it any longer, he stood up from the bar stool and stomped towards them. He grabbed Charles' arm possessively and when Charles' partner began to protest, Erik snarled at him.

"He's mine!"

Charles was oblivious to their confrontation. Singing the song playing on as he danced by himself languorously."There's something inside you, it's hard to explain.They're talking about you boy, but you're still the same-"He crooned.

After telling off the guy Charles danced with, Erik dragged Charles by the arm and they headed for the men's room. He didn't care if he had to fuck Charles on the sink. He's going to get what he wants and no one can stop him. Erik wondered why he suddenly felt that way. He's usually laid back, even when he's actively insolent, but his behavior towards Charles surprised him. He pushed Charles towards the sink of the men's room and Charles just responded with bubbly laughter, his smile naughty. Erik didn't say anything. He just scowled at Charles. Charles sat back upon the tiled surface of the sink, swaying his legs about playfully. He then lifted one leg and with his sneakered foot pointed out, he caressed Erik's hard on with the toe of his sneaker.

"Are you fucking around with me, Charles?"Erik said threateningly.

Charles just gave him an impish grin, unperturbed."Seeing me with him turned you on, didn't it?"

Erik didn't say anything. He pounced forward, pushing Charles' leg away and he began to kiss Charles rashly, his kisses rough and forceful. Charles moaned, enjoying Erik's kiss regardless of its violence, ensnaring his fingers through Erik's hair as they kissed and grabbed at each other. They kissed for a long while, ignoring the people going in and out of the men's room. Charles felt himself burning up, just with their kissing. Although Heroin addiction numbed the senses, it had the opposite effect upon a blessed few and Charles was part of that group. He felt sensitive; easily aroused. He only broke the kiss to gasp something into Erik's ear.

"I got a place for us. Let's head on over there-"

Erik allowed Charles to lead him towards a busted cubicle, with a signage over it. Charles undid the wire at the top and then he opened the door. The cubicle wasn't exactly clean, but it will do. It didn't look as bad as the other cubicles. Numerous condoms littered the floor, along with sticky substances that smelled like dried piss and stale chicken soup, mixed in with puke. There's one other smell too, like burnt caramel and candle wax. Evidently, it was the same stall Charles used when he took his brown sugar. The lid was thankfully closed on the plugged-up toilet; the walls covered with graffiti and various posters. It was a narrow fit, but Charles managed to squeeze the door shut as he guided Erik to sit on the covered toilet. He sat upon Erik's lap facing him. Charles smiled at him in encouragement and then they embraced, kissing torridly. Charles enjoyed seeing Erik's frustration. He seemed like he had something pent up inside, something he kept on a leash and Charles wanted to see Erik let loose. Erik moaned when Charles reached for his hard on, grasping it tightly.

"Ahhh!"

"Ever rubbed dicks with another guy, Erik? Wanna try it?"

Erik blearily gazed at Charles, slightly skeptical because he had hoped to fuck Charles in the ass, not knock dicks with him. Besides, what pleasure could he derive from frot? Erik's uncertainty didn't escape Charles' notice, no matter how high he felt. He stood up and pulled his shirt over his head and Erik stared at Charles' bare chest and slightly muscled torso in admiration. Charles' body hair appeared lighter, the hairs baby-fine that he seemed hairless. His pink nipples pertly stood out as Charles peeled the shirt off all the way, giving Erik a view of the track marks in his arms. Erik didn't seem to mind that he's a junkie. Charles hung the shirt on the hook at the upper part of the door and then he unbuttoned his pants, removing it awkwardly due to the tight fit in the cubicle. Charles also took his briefs off, but he kept his socks and sneakers on, placing the pants carefully on the lid of the toilet's tank along with his undies. Now Erik was face to face with another man's cock for the first time. Charles had shaved his pubic hair earlier so that whoever saw his cock would enjoy the view. Charles' pinkish cock throbbed under the light, the tip glistening with pre-cum. Erik didn't know why his mouth watered at the sight of Charles' cock. Some strange part of him wanted to stuff that cock into his mouth and suck hard, until he had Charles howling in ecstasy. This fantasy flashed before his eyes as he watched Charles play with himself, spreading the pre-cum along his length.

"You're gonna love this-"Charles murmured softly and then he pulled Erik's pants down along with his underwear, leaving it to pool at Erik's ankles. Charles settled himself upon Erik's lap, edging closer to Erik's cock and then he pressed his burning cock against Erik's equally burning cock. Erik enjoyed the feeling of Charles' ass upon his thighs, reaching out to hold on to Charles' hips. Charles grasped their cocks together; as if he was smooshing them against each other and then he began the motions of a handjob. Simultaneously, he was rubbing his cock against Erik's cock, letting their love juices flow and spread all over.

 _It's so hot_ , Erik thought deliriously as Charles continued. Erik's own hips involuntarily bucked up to rub up against Charles, his head thrown back in his arousal. How could it feel this good? That delicious look on Charles' blushing face aroused him even more. Charles' half-lidded blank stare, lost in the lust of it; his half-open red lips; the moans rising from his throat. Their breathing quickened as Charles quickened his pace. Erik could almost hear his heartbeat pounding right up to his ears, his face burning up like the rest of him.

"Yes! Oh God! Oh God! Yes! Oh, yeah! Cum for me! I wanna see your load! Cum for me!"Charles moaned indecently, his movements coming in faster and harder and Erik, helpless against the tide of his own arousal did as Charles ordered him to. He came before Charles came, his come splashing up against Charles' belly. He thought after spending and coming with the whores he met earlier, he'd be dry, but he still had some come left, it seems. Erik made choking sounds as he pressed his face to Charles' rosy shoulder, while Charles kept on pumping on their cocks together with his two hands. Charles finally released Erik's cock, pushing him away so he could play with his own cock. Erik watched, mesmerized as Charles furiously masturbated before him using one hand, his other hand now planted upon Erik's knee to brace himself. Charles' head rolled back upon his shoulder when he came, his come spurting against Erik's bare belly and his own. The splash of semen astounded Erik. This was the first time another guy came on him.

"Ahhhnnnn!"Charles moaned out loud, his voice slightly shaking as he savored his own climax. When the throes of his orgasm passed, Charles stared at their mutual come spurts. Charles sensuously rubbed his come into Erik's skin as Erik gasped for breath. Erik watched Charles darkly, enjoying Charles touching him like this. It wasn't unpleasant at all. Charles was someone exciting and new and no one had drawn his interest like this before. Women whose sexual services he paid for immediately gave him what he wanted. Hell, even women he met while out drinking gave in easily, but not Charles. Charles made him wait for it; directed their lust even though he's obviously the bottom. Charles took his time and it frustrated Erik, yet surprisingly, he liked it. Charles drew Erik close to kiss him, licking at Erik's lower lip seductively.

"We haven't even gone all the way, but if you really want a good time, I know something else we can do-"

"What?"Erik said huskily.

"We can play in the cage."Charles said evasively, causing Erik's eyes to narrow down critically.

 

They got dressed, cleaning up first and then Charles led him back into the narrow passageway leading to the sex stalls, turning to the far right until they arrived into a literal sex arena. It was formerly a parking garage, but now every filthy and pornographic act played out in this area. Had Charles not led him, Erik would not have known about this place. Erik took in the sights, even getting turned on, seeing men in S&M gear and using sex toys the size of a damned arm on each other. Some of them used something called 'sex swings' as Charles informed him of their function and then they arrived at their destination. The cage. Charles knew the creepy-faced guy handling the cage. No one appeared to be using it. Charles spoke to the guy, exchanging whispered words with him and then Charles held his hand out to Erik.

"Give me fifty. Mort said he'll let us use the cage on a discount."

Erik took out his wallet and handed Charles his money once more."How much is it supposed to be?"

"Usually five hundred bucks, but Mort's letting us use it, dirt cheap. He owes me-"

Erik arched an eyebrow at that. No wonder no one used the cage. Charles explained that he wanted them to use the cage for several reasons. It has a large bed and it's enclosed, preventing other salivating sex freaks from disturbing them, although it would allow them to see Charles and Erik fucking. It was intriguing and Erik said so.

"Kinky."

"Isn't it? Come on, let's get inside-"Charles said playfully, head turned the side and giving Erik his most sultry smile. Charles locked the cage from the inside and Mort, the guy who allowed them to use the cage walked off, telling another bouncer he's taking a short break. Gold spray paint covered the bars of the cage, perhaps in an effort to give it some decorative attraction. There are also S&M-style restraints and sex toys included in the package. At the floor of the cage was a large mattress, covered in black vinyl for easy cleaning of bodily fluids exuded by its users. Erik and Charles already drew the interest of the other onlookers and they stood around the cage, watching as Erik and Charles began to strip.

'Don't worry about anyone taking any videos. People aren't allowed to bring cameras or phones in this area-"

Erik nodded. He had to leave his own cellphone with the bouncers at the front door, so he knew what Charles meant. Charles had his back to Erik now and Erik had a good view of Charles' ass. Erik bit his lower lip in anticipation. Charles did have a nice ass. Come to think of it, he only came to appreciate the male form through Charles. He'd seen naked guys before, but Charles' pale and slightly muscled body aroused him somehow. Charles looked over to him with lowered lashes, seeing Erik's cock coming to life, rising from the mound of pubic hair. Erik didn't know where Charles got his lube, but Charles pressed the tube into his hand, along with a condom, his simpering smile back.

"You've probably fucked women in the ass before, right? You know what to do-"

Erik did indeed fuck some of his women in the ass. He ignored the murmurs and the stares of the bystanders watching them. His attention was on Charles as Charles laid himself out spread-eagled on the bed, arms thrown out in abandon, waiting for him. Erik slipped the condom on and he knelt at the side of the bed. He crawled towards Charles, planting a kiss upon Charles' chest and causing the other to giggle. Charles reached for his shoulder and whispered to him.

"Let's give them a good show-"

Erik grinned back at him, encouraged by Charles' enthusiasm. Erik had most definitely sunk into an all time low, becoming an instant sex performer for these fucking fags. He found it somewhat liberating. He didn't need to be gentle with Charles and yet he started off by kissing Charles slowly and passionately on the lips, sucking on his tongue, licking the roof of Charles' mouth and causing Charles to start at the sensation it gave him. They embraced again, rolling to the side, and now it was Erik's turn to jump as Charles clutched his ass, forcing their lower bodies together, with Charles circling and grinding against him, a lewd smile on his lips. Erik rolled Charles on to his back and then Erik started to lick and suck at Charles' nipples, eliciting sighs of pleasure from him. Erik stopped a moment to stare at Charles' face. He's really beautiful and seeing Charles' blue eyes focused only on him, stirred up his arousal once more. Erik had dropped the lube on the vinyl bed and when Charles saw it, he grabbed it and used the contents to prepare his hole for Erik. He slathered some of the lube upon Erik's condom-covered cock and then without preliminaries, Charles guided Erik's cock to his hole. Erik grunted and groaned. He thought at first he wouldn't be able to get it all the way in. Charles' hole was just so tight. Charles whimpered and restlessly moved his head about, eyes shut tight as he bore Erik's massiveness.

Erik was finally inside Charles' hole, but he didn't move his hips yet. He tightened the muscles of his stomach, not wanting to come too soon.

"Ah, fuck!"Erik said in a strained voice, his face and his neck reddening, sweat standing out from his skin. Charles' lips pouted out and then he bit his lower lip, head snapping back against the vinyl. He clung to Erik, moving his legs about to find the right angle and then Charles moved his own hips against Erik's hips, finding the rhythm as he undulated his hips forward to meet Erik's cock. He slid up and down Erik's length and then Erik reached for Charles' hips and began to take control. He pounded violently into Charles, rushing into the fuck. Charles wanted to voice out that he shouldn't do that, but it was too late. Erik was bucking into him like a wild animal, face contorted and mouth opening and closing, his eyes going blank with lust. Charles bore with it and clung to Erik anyway, regardless if Erik fucked him frantically like there's no tomorrow. The people watching them began to howl in encouragement, shaking at the bars of the cage and even clambering up to get a better view. One of them got too excited and made his way over the cage. He'd unzipped his pants and knelt by Charles' head, intending to force his cock into Charles' open mouth. Charles giggled and turned his head away while Erik began to shout "Hey!" at the guy, pushing him away from Charles.

Just when he was getting it on with Charles, the entire gay parade wanted in on the action. The men outside shook at the bars like animals. Some of them laughing and howling and Erik has had enough. He's going to have to take Charles elsewhere so he could fuck his conquest in peace. Erik parted from Charles and punched the intruder. He then grabbed Charles' arm, shouting over the din.

"Let's leave! They're turning into fucking animals!"

Charles wouldn't get up at first, too languorous to care about anything. He just laughed softly, looking about him in a drugged state, like he was about to fall asleep. Erik helped him up, even helping him put his clothes on. They barged out of the entrance, with Erik slapping away the slavering fags that got in their way and then they ran towards the exit, down the length of the narrow passageway of the stalls and out at the front desk so that Erik could retrieve his phone. Charles allowed Erik to tug at his arm, the other leading him away from Hellfire. Erik didn't want anyone following them, so Erik ordered Charles to pick up the pace. They arrived at the subway station and Erik guided Charles into one of the empty subway cars. It was past two a.m. already and Erik didn't know if he could come to work tomorrow. His cock still ached due to that asshole in the cage interrupting them. Charles just continued to smile at him serenely, his heavy-lidded eyes still looking sleepy. He leaned his head against the glass window of the train.

"Where are you taking me?"

Erik shrugged."My apartment. You've taken all my money; I can't afford to even take you to a motel. I only have enough cash here for the subway fare."

"That's cool. Will you let me stay awhile?"

"Yeah, sure."Erik said absently and reached for Charles so he could kiss him. Charles allowed Erik to kiss him hungrily and then Charles actually sat on Erik's lap, wrapping his arm around Erik's neck, his movements sluggish. Erik had never met anyone who liked to kiss as much as Charles. Erik didn't care either way. Charles' lips were good for kissing; red and sensuous and plush beneath his gnashing kisses. It was just the two on them in that section of the train and Erik surreptitiously slid his hand under Charles' shirt to caress his belly. When they arrived at Erik's stop, Erik briskly walked, with Charles at his side. They finally reached Erik's apartment and when they entered, Erik immediately pounced on Charles. He gave Charles sloppy kisses as they undressed in the living room. Erik felt assured that his mother was no longer there, because her suitcase was not in sight (she usually left it by the sofa) and she'd left his duplicate key on the coffee table. Erik forced Charles into his bedroom and they sprawled out on Erik's bed, with Erik straddling Charles and raining him with slow kisses. All the kissing made Erik light-headed. He was too exhausted from his excitable night of sexual self-destructiveness that it finally took its toll. Before he could even fuck Charles, he suddenly fell asleep. 

He awoke with a start. It was late, almost noon already, the sun streaming in through his partly open blinds. Collecting his thoughts, he remembered the things that happened last night and he wanted to kick himself for letting Charles stay in his room. Charles was already gone from his bed and had probably cased the place. Erik slipped into one of his silk pajamas and dreaded seeing his furniture missing. However, the smell of bacon and the scent of brewed coffee greeted his nostrils instead. He then saw Charles at his stove, ladling out scrambled eggs on to a plate.

"Good Morning!"Charles greeted him cheerfully, a winsome smile on his face and Erik couldn't understand why, but he suddenly felt affection for Charles, seeing him strutting about adorably, wearing nothing but one of his button-down shirts with the sleeves rolled up, his fair skin looking fresh under the natural lighting pouring in through the windows. Charles' pale toes and delicate pink ankles also drew his attention, as well as Charles' decidedly cute stature; he looked like a boy, younger than what Erik estimated would be his age. Charles ran up to him and kissed his cheek and then Charles spoke in a rush to explain what he'd done.

"Sorry I didn't wake you! I was so hungry this morning! Haven't eaten in a while so I had to cook something for us-"

Erik placed a finger over Charles' mouth to shut him up and they both burst out laughing, smiling at each other warmly. Erik suddenly sat before the dining table, waiting for Charles to sit with him. Charles had already laid out the plates, complete with bacon and toast. Charles brought the plate of scrambled eggs to the table and Erik asked him the question that was on his mind.

"Where did you get the bacon and eggs from?"

Charles' brow furrowed."It was in your fridge and there's bread in one of your cupboards. I thought you wouldn't mind me using them up-"

Erik realized his mother must have purchased these things for him. Sighing tiredly and not wanting his mood to darken, Erik forked up some scrambled eggs and tasted Charles' cooking.

"Good?"

Erik cracked a smile and nodded, lifting a thumbs up for Charles. They ate, with Charles smiling up at him occasionally and then Erik noticed Charles had even cleaned up his apartment.

"Do you have work today?"Charles asked casually and Erik shrugged in response.

"I'm calling in sick."

"Ok. Well, I hope you remember our agreement last night-"Charles said carefully and then Erik remembered that he'd allowed Charles to stay at his apartment. Erik was about to say something about the matter, but Charles lifted a hand up to stop him.

"Look, only for a week. Just give me a week. I won't steal anything! I'm no thief! I really like your place and I've got my gear with me, so I'm covered until then. You don't have to pay me for sex either. If you want to fuck me, you can do me, anytime you want. I wouldn't mind it if you gave me some money though. You can give me some if you're suddenly feeling generous-"Charles said quickly, his eyes wide and imploring.

By gear, Charles meant he had his drugs to tide him over. He just needed a place to live in temporarily. Erik stared at Charles intently for a moment, wondering what he had gotten himself into. Junkies are known to steal and he didn't know Charles at all. He was a stranger to him and yet, he allowed Charles into his home, but well, what does it matter? His entire life has gone to shit anyway, Plus, Charles still fascinated him for some reason. He gave Charles a faint grin, placing his chin into the palm of his hand as he leaned on the table.

"Ok. I'll let you stay, but if you steal anything from me, I'm kicking you out-"

Charles let out a whoop of joy and then he sprang out of his chair to hug Erik. He pulled back, smiling brightly at Erik.

"I promise I won't steal! I want you to have good memories of me before I leave here-"

"Sure."Erik said rolling his eyes at Charles, not quite believing him, but going along with him anyway as they continued to eat their breakfast.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Plot goes unreal at this point. Be forewarned I write unrealistic plots and I do it all for the gratuitous fan service ;)

 

"I hope the other guy got it worse than you-"Charles teased as he dabbed some Betadine on to Erik's scratched cheek. After breakfast, only then did Charles notice Erik's bruises, immediately insisting that he take care of it. The bruising did not become apparent until this morning. He cooed over the hurt Erik incurred as if it was something so terrible, his fingers gentle upon Erik's skin. Erik chuckled weakly as he allowed Charles to tend to him. Although he took a beating from the bald son of a bitch from the billiards bar, his state of mind last night allowed him to forget the pain. Additionally, he felt the muscles of his torso aching, along with his busted cheek, his senses protesting after his craziness had passed. Charles dabbed some liniment upon his torso when he noticed Erik favoring that spot and Charles actually released a frustrated hiss upon seeing Erik's contusions. Erik couldn't stop staring at Charles' face. The look of tender concern in his blue eyes, brow furrowed in worry for _him_ , somehow touched Erik.

"You really shouldn't go to work at all!"Charles said with feeling.

"Yeah, I'm planning on calling in sick, remember?"

"You should go back to bed and rest! I'll take care of you-"

"I think I'll survive-"Erik said dryly.

Charles stifled himself, but he seemed like he wanted to say something more. He cleared the dishes instead and insisted he do all the work while Erik sat back, watching Charles move about. Erik didn't know what to make of Charles. He's certainly different, not quite what he expected. Because of his sudden curiosity over Charles, he tried to ask the other to tell him more about himself. Charles suddenly stopped scrubbing the table top and faced him.

"Look, you don't want to hear about my life. You know I'm a junkie and I sell myself occasionally for sex. That's all you need to know and honestly, my life ain't much. If you want to tell me your life story, I'm willing to listen, but other than that, don't waste your time trying to get to know me. Let's just keep it strictly physical if we can-"

Erik admired Charles' straightforwardness and he told him so. Still, he wanted to keep an eye on Charles and so he did indeed call in sick again, this time informing Scott he'll be out sick for a week. Scott took it in stride, even encouraging Erik to take an extended vacation if he wanted to. He reminded Erik that he hadn't used any of his vacation credits for years now. Everyone at the office knew Erik as a workaholic, all work and no play, which they credited as the reason for Erik not having a steady girlfriend. Erik told Scott one week was enough.

In this case, since he threw away his porn and his laptop, Charles would serve as Erik's sexual playmate during his stay. Besides, he couldn't develop any feelings for Charles. He's a guy and for one thing, he only allowed Charles to stay so he could indulge in his experimentation into gay sex. He could tolerate having Charles in his house for a week. Nothing to it. Owing to Charles' drug habit, Erik knew Charles needed hypodermic needles and a kit to take his drugs. Erik allowed Charles to borrow his clothes, even though they appeared baggy. The boy's just too skinny. Erik took Charles to a pharmacy, buying the things Charles would need using his credit card. He later went to an ATM to withdraw some money to purchase food for them both. Erik hadn't gotten around to fucking Charles so he's feeling excited about getting laid tonight. He'll let Charles shoot up first and then he'll have a go of fucking Charles all night long. Sex with another man still intrigued him somehow.

The moment they got home, Charles offered to put the groceries aside, advising Erik to sit back and watch something on TV. Charles even got him a bottle of beer after asking if he wanted one. He usually offered his hookers and one-night stands something to drink out of a compulsory politeness, but they always turned him down. It was odd to hear someone offering him a drink in his own home for once. Erik did as Charles ordered, mildly distracted as Charles moved about in the kitchen. Charles began to cook something and Erik had to smile to himself as he watched TV, not really focusing on what he was watching. Despite having so many women come over to his apartment, none of them ever offered to do anything for him. On the other hand, none of them stayed with him for a week. Charles finally emerged from the kitchen, carrying a plate of something savory and laid it out on the coffee table before Erik.

"I hope you like pasta. It's the only thing I know how to cook really well."

Erik wrapped strands of pasta around his fork and brought it to his lips. He chewed slowly and nodded in appreciation, eyes widening in pleasure."It's good!"

Charles beamed at him, smiling in that endearing way of his. He had a bowl of pasta on his lap and he began to eat as well, watching TV with Erik. When they finished their meal and finished watching a movie, Charles offered to wash the dishes and advised Erik to prepare for bed. Erik headed into the bathroom first to brush his teeth and to wash his face before heading into his bedroom. He could hear Charles singing to himself as he washed the dishes and then he heard Charles heading into the bathroom to wash up too. When Charles entered his bedroom, he was already naked. Evidently, Charles had already taken his dope, the red welt from his tourniquet still marred the pale skin of his upper arm. Erik still hadn't taken his clothes off. He had on his turtleneck shirt and his grey slacks, his hard on pressing insistently against the fabric of his pants. Charles braced his hands at the doorway, giving Erik a lewd smile.

"I thought I told you to get ready for bed? Tsk, such a naughty boy!"

Erik shrugged, giving Charles an insolent grin and then Charles sauntered towards him, biting on his lower lip, his eyes heavy-lidded and full of lusty anticipation. He took Erik's hand and led him towards the bed. They kissed first, hungry and almost frantic as they embraced. Erik ran his hands over Charles' fair skin, enjoying the silken feel of it. He could smell his soap on Charles' skin and Charles' hair smelled strongly of his shampoo too. He didn't know why it turned him on so much. He licked and kissed Charles roughly upon the neck, sucking on his skin so hard that his kiss marks immediately bruised Charles' skin. Charles grabbed at the fabric of Erik's shirt, his skin burning up, eyes shut tight as he savored Erik's lips and tongue on his skin. He longed for Erik to fuck him. He recalled when Erik fucked him in the cage, how they didn't get to finish during that time and now his hole ached for Erik. He felt his nipples harden, growing sensitive as Erik's fingers brushed over his chest.

He moaned and shivered against Erik, unable to hide the feverish wanting in himself. Erik couldn't seem to stop nuzzling his hair and his skin. It suddenly surprised Charles when Erik bit his shoulder.

"Ow!"

Erik uttered a low laugh at his response. Erik guided him to lie back in bed and Charles' back arched up when Erik began to nibble and lick at his burning nipples.

"Aaaahhhh!"Charles cried out in a trembling voice, his eyes watering up at the delicious sensation he felt. Erik began to nibble harder and Charles' body stiffened, his hands clawing at Erik's shoulders. He moaned and gasped, letting Erik know that it felt good and then Erik went down on him. Erik began to suck his cock and Charles just about lost it. He writhed in bed as Erik sucked and licked him into a state of ecstasy. It was almost as good as getting the heady rush of a high; the same kind he felt when he shoots up and the first few seconds of bliss coursed through his body. Charles languidly gazed down at Erik sucking him off for a long while. Erik suddenly stopped before he could finish, eliciting a frustrated moan from Charles.

"Why'd you stop?"Charles complained. Erik just laughed at his discomfort and sat back, watching Charles' erect cock. His cock's really pretty, pink and delicate under the light. Erik unzipped his fly to release his own straining cock, the tip already dripping with pre-cum, heavily veined and thick in his hand.

"Let's jack each other off-"Erik invited.

The scowl on Charles' face immediately disappeared. He wanted to play Erik's game after all. He shimmied closer to Erik on his knees and then he reached for Erik's cock, running his hands over the length of it.

"God, you're so big!"Charles said in an awed voice.

Erik also reached for Charles' cock and he marveled at the tender nub of flesh he felt. Charles exuded a strange softness and femininity and instead of turning Erik off, it aroused him even further. They gazed at each other intently as they fondled each other's cocks.

"Hmm, you feel so hot!"Charles moaned, licking at his lips seductively and ending it with that lower lip-bite that always got Erik's motor going. Something in that movement when Charles did it made him horny as hell. Erik suddenly grabbed Charles waist so he could fuck Charles in the ass with his fingers. He had the lube ready on his bedside table. He slathered some on his fingers and used it to prod Charles' quivering hole. Charles moaned helplessly, bracing himself against Erik's shoulders as he thrusted his ass out for Erik's probing fingers. Erik put in two fingers at first, then three, touching that sensitive spot in his backside, the coveted male G-spot. Blessed with a preternatural sensitivity, Charles moaned louder and louder as Erik's movements quickened.

"Ahh! Ahh! I'm...I'm cumming!"Charles cried out and when Erik heard it, he stopped. Charles slapped a hand on his shoulder, glowering up at him and gasping raggedly.

"You fuck! Stop prolonging my fucking agony and just fuck me!"

"So this is agony to you? You're not enjoying it at all?"Erik teased.

"Fucking jerk!"Charles growled and pulled away, intending to relieve himself, but Erik suddenly grasped his hips and forced him to turn around. Erik pushed his own pants down and rubbed the tip of his cock on to the crack of Charles' ass, spreading a wet mixture of come and lube upon Charles' backside. Charles looked over his shoulder at Erik, his expression desperate.

"Please Erik, please!"Charles moaned, his voice trembling slightly.

With a palsied hand, Erik hurriedly sought his drawer for a lubricated condom and slipped it on, with Charles still on his knees, ass thrusted out for Erik and legs wide apart. Charles braced his chest upon the bed, both hands splayed out and awaiting the inevitable. With the condom in place, Erik positioned himself at Charles' backside and slipped his cock in. It was a tight fit, as always and Charles howled waveringly at it. His moans only served to arouse Erik further, his hips slowly rocking forward. Charles was a trembling and sweating mess beneath him, bearing with the size of Erik's cock. The first entry was always tinged with a bit of pain, but it felt good anyway; the undeniable thrill of pleasure and pain wreaking havoc upon his senses. Erik concentrated on not thrusting his hips and coming. Charles had admonished him earlier over what happened in the cage at the Hellfire club. Charles told him he had to take it slow; otherwise Erik would miss out on the deep orgasm that comes from anal sex.

He liked teasing Charles though, after his comely little man slut made him wait for it last night. He wanted to return the favor. However, he's had enough of games. He pulled his own shirt off, circling his hips about Charles' ample backside. He wanted to fuck Charles as much as Charles wanted to fuck him. He just had to get past the initial hurdle of that maddening tightness. He moved his hips slowly, thrusting in and out of Charles, loosening him up, Charles shoved his face into the pillow, his moans muffled up and his hands clenching and unclenching into the fabric of the bed sheet, shoulders trembling. His head lolled about restlessly as Erik continued with this slow, thrusting movement.

"Go...Go faster!"Charles rasped out in a strained voice and that did it for Erik. He grabbed Charles' hips and he began to pound forward, his hips bucking at a frantic pace and Charles could only moan and writhe beneath him, meeting Erik's thrusting with absolute abandon, enjoying the sensation of Erik's cock ramming hard into his hole. His cries took on an animalian quality, his eyes shut tight as he savored the ecstasy of their intense fucking. He howled even louder when Erik began to give him a hand job. Erik grabbed his cock so hard that he trapped the blood flow to Charles' aching sex, preventing him from coming.

"Fuck!"Charles hollered and tried to look over at Erik with his heavy-lidded eyes. They are both sweating and trembling, desperate for release, but Erik wanted the feeling to last longer; he wanted to go crazy with want. He wanted this. He slapped and slammed up against Charles, crushing Charles' backside with each hard buck and thrust. He released Charles cock and forced him down upon the bed, raining kisses upon Charles neck and shoulders, nuzzling Charles' ears and his hair. He couldn't stand it any longer, he wanted to come too. He roughly turned Charles around so the other would face him and he had a good view of Charles' cock bobbing about, reddening and wet with come. He grabbed Charles' cock, not breaking his own thrusting as he did so and Charles fought him, trying to break free from his grasp, his expression agonized.

"Please! I want to come! Make me come!"Charles moaned wantonly, his eyes crazed and desperate for an orgasm. A part of Charles admired Erik's strength and stamina. Erik turned him around quickly and with ease so they now faced each other. He also admired Erik's muscular arms and he turned his head around to kiss one of Erik's biceps. Erik's sweat trickled over him but he didn't care, he licked his lips and canted his hips up to meet Erik's thrusting. Erik finally released Charles' cock and began to thrust into him wildly, his hips pounding forward rhythmically. Charles responded by splaying his legs wide open, his feet arching up in the air. Charles even reached for Erik's waist and clung to him, head thrown back in this intense ecstasy of having Erik fuck him. Erik reached around to grasp the back of Charles' sweaty neck, kissing his face and his throat over and over, licking his chin.

This feeling...it was amazing to Charles. He couldn't believe how much of a good fuck Erik was. His arms were now wrapped around Erik's neck as Erik pounded away into him and then he only came after they've bucked against each other for like forever. That was the downside of taking Heroin. Charles would take a long while to come, if he even came at all, but as long as he took a small dose—the numbing effects of Heroin, instead of turning into a sexual mood killer—makes for an intense fuck session. It depends on whoever he's fucking, he supposed. Erik has such a strange sexual stamina, that even if Erik didn't take any H, he's capable of fucking Charles out of his mind all night long. They were a perfect match in this instance. Charles uttered a long and drawn out cry when he orgasmed, his come spurting on to his own belly and to Erik's chest. Erik still frantically pounded into him, even though Charles was still sensitive from coming, the orgasms ran through him and made him shiver in delight. Charles' arching back collapsed on to the bed, his head turning about ecstatically with eyes shut tight and a blissful smile still on his face. It was so intense. Eventually, Erik also climaxed. Erik grunted once when he came after Charles, savoring the sensation it brought him, his eyes shutting tight at it. Erik crumpled up on top of Charles, too lost in the throes of his orgasm to move, the mutual heartbeat and blood rush running through them as they panted over each other. When he recovered, he pulled out slowly from Charles so as not to tear up the filled condom. He slipped the condom off and quickly tied the other end. He threw the used condom in a nearby waste bin and then he went back to bed. Charles sighed contentedly, hugging him close, surprising Erik. None of the women he took before behaved like that.

"That was just amazing!"Charles enthused, kissing Erik's lips and cheeks affectionately. Charles even willingly had sex with him two more times and then they slept in bed together, sated and content, albeit feeling exhausted after they screwed each other's brains out. They fucked for hours and Erik thoroughly enjoyed Charles' enthusiasm to fuck. Erik almost expected Charles to nod off at certain points, but Charles surprised him with his animalistic frenzy. It must have something to do with taking so long to orgasm while on H, driving Charles mad with the need to come.

When Erik woke up the next day, the first thing he saw was Charles, leaning over him, propped up on his elbows, gently brushing Erik's hair away from his face. Erik reached for his wrist to stop him.

"What time is it?"Erik said, yawning.

Charles giggled."I've already finished preparing breakfast. I'm just waiting for you to wake up-"

Erik chuckled and then he kissed Charles' palm. He's such a sweet man. Charles tried to come off as worldly, but he's truly a gentle soul on the inside. Not once did he attempt to steal from Erik when he had the ample opportunity to do so. Erik admired him for his restraint. He did see Charles shoot up in the bathroom several times using the gear he brought with him, but he didn't seem to take the drug just to get high. He seemed to need it to function. He tested Charles' resolve not to steal from him by leaving him alone for a few hours one day and when he got back, Charles had prepared lunch for him instead. He looked around and nothing was amiss. Charles didn't even touch the money he left at his nightstand. Occasionally, he noticed that Charles liked to lie down a lot when doing nothing, yawning at intervals and nodding off, but otherwise, he functioned normally around Erik. Sometimes he's silent and spiritless, even throwing up and locking himself up in the bathroom for hours and Charles explained that when he's like that, it was due to the comedown from H. Charles claimed that he had tried other drugs before, but he liked the comedown that only Heroin could give.

"It's not as bad as the comedown I used to get from the other drugs I took. I don't know how to describe it. It feels like a hangover, only there's a pleasant buzz to it, not like an alcoholic hangover. The only thing I hate about H is the withdrawal. It's the worse feeling ever when it kicks in. That's why I can't stop taking H now. The moment I stop, even for a few days, I get dope sick and then I crash, hard."Charles explained to him once.

Erik himself couldn't hide his own perversions from Charles. He sometimes left the bathroom door open and Charles had seen him jacking off, even after they'd had sex. Charles even saw him watching porn on his cell phone, but Charles didn't judge him. He didn't even ask Erik about it. Erik liked that about Charles, that he's not nosy.

Initially, their arrangement was purely physical, but as the days drew on, Erik began to open himself to Charles. Charles didn't even force him to talk. He listened to Erik and he encouraged him quietly. Erik told Charles about his strained relationship with his parents and his relatives and how much he hated his work. He told Charles he distracted himself with sex. Although he did admit that its gone out of control, he didn't admit outright that he's a sex addict. Charles himself just thought of Erik as an extremely horny guy. That's all. Erik however, understood the situation perfectly. He and Charles shared a predilection towards addictive tendencies, yet he chose to deny it whereas Charles accepted his own addiction with no apologies. He knew what he got into and he knew at some point, it wouldn't end well for him. He just wanted to live in the moment, because that was all he had. He knew he didn't have a bright future ahead of him and he's consigned to it.

"So what are you going to do, once you leave here?"Erik asked, his arm slung around Charles' waist as they remained lying in bed after a bout of sex. Charles ran his fingers through Erik's hair. He seemed to like doing that a lot.

"I don't know. Hustle, I guess. You know how it is, don't you? I don't have a home to call my own. I have to work for my next hit, just to feel normal-"

Erik sighed and drew close, caressing Charles' lower back."Maybe...you can stay a little longer. I can buy you some dope if you need it-"

Why the hell did he say something like that? If he let Charles stay in his apartment...

Charles smiled at him brightly and pulled Erik into his arms, his eyes glimmering with emotion. He couldn't believe Erik would give him such a generous offer.

"Really? I mean I don't want to intrude-"

Erik immediately regretted it, but he'd already said the words. He couldn't take it back now. He allowed Charles to rain kisses upon his neck and his cheeks as Charles slid on top of him.

"Thank you, Erik! Thank you!"Charles cried out happily.

Erik began to laugh weakly and then he felt Charles caressing his cock.

"Let me thank you properly-"Charles purred into his ear and then Erik groaned lustily as Charles slid downwards and began to suck his cock. Charles really does give good head. Once Charles got him going, Charles climbed on top of him, slipping a lubricated condom down the length of Erik's cock and they began to fuck like jackrabbits. Erik watched, mesmerized as Charles' hips rocked forward. The muscles and the bones beneath the skin of Charles' hips rolled and swayed seductively under the interplay of light and dark. Then Erik lifted his eyes to stare at Charles' face. Oh, that look. He couldn't get enough of seeing how aroused Charles looked, having his cock inside him. Charles was genuinely aroused and Erik could see it upon his expression, right down to his rock hard erection. Charles pouted his red lips out, eyes shut tight as his head lolled about, riding Erik's thick cock.

"Haahh! Haaah! Haaahhhh!"Charles growled out throatily, hips pistoning faster as the strokes came closer and closer. Erik couldn't stand it anymore. He wanted to pound it into Charles, hard. He rolled Charles to the side, causing his condom to slip off, but they were too aroused to stop for Erik to re-adjust it. Charles got on his back and opened his legs wide, waiting for Erik to fuck him. Erik's cock already dripped with come. He slathered some of it on to Charles' hole and rammed in with violent suddenness. Charles uttered a choked yell, but he clung on to Erik, letting Erik fuck him, bareback.

"Oh God!"Charles cried out, unable to believe how good it felt to have Erik fucking him like this again. Glassy-eyed, Erik watched Charles' blushing face, looking so aroused only for him. He fucked Charles aggressively, causing the bed to shake. Erik enjoyed this feeling, melting into Charles; surrendering to his heat and his tightness. They both moaned out loud and then Erik came first this time. His come spurted hotly into Charles' hole; filling him to overflowing, causing Charles to scream out waveringly. Charles only saw white when he orgasmed after. The fucking was that good he couldn't move for some time. Erik collapsed on top of him, gasping breathlessly. Charles blindly reached for his cheek, drawing him close for some more kissing.

 

Things were good for a while. They frequently fucked and enjoyed each other's company. Erik even left Charles by himself, showing Charles that he trusted him, but one night...Erik couldn't get it up when they began to fuck. Charles tried to comfort him, telling him it was ok, even offering him some Heroin to help him relax. Then, the feeling of impotence got Erik in a rage. He slapped Charles' hands away when Charles tried to caress his cheeks.

"Fuck off! Alright?"

"What's wrong with you?"Charles said, baffled by Erik's behavior.

Erik didn't say anything, quietly seething when he realized why he couldn't get it up. He was starting to have feelings for Charles. In his own words, he's becoming emotionally invested in Charles. Of all the people he had to feel affection for, why did it have to be another man? He had thought that it was impossible for him to feel anything for Charles since he's really into pussy, not another man's hole, but Charles was just hard not to fall for. There's just something special about Charles, something so different that it turned even Erik around. Erik sat upon the side of the bed, unable to face Charles.

"I'm tired of this shit-"Erik said dully.

Charles grew still at that, his face going blank."W-What do you mean?"

Erik glared at him intently."You. I'm tired of you clinging to me like a parasite! I tried to turn the other cheek, but I'm tired of you stealing behind my back and smiling at me with that shit-eating grin on your face like nothing happened-"Erik lied, pretending to sound mad.

Charles' eyes widened at that."I never stole anything from you!"

Erik scoffed at him."Hah! What are you? A junkie with a heart of gold? Give me a fucking break! You've been stealing and I've been letting you get away with it all this time-"

Erik quickly got up from bed, slipping into his pants and then he began to haul Charles up, dragging him by the arm. Charles begged for Erik to let his arm go.

"Ow, Erik! You're hurting me! Let me go!"

Erik snatched up Charles' clothes and then he threw them towards Charles. Charles had been wearing nothing but Erik's shirts during his stay, leaving his clothes folded on Erik's dresser. He slipped on his underwear and his faded pants with trembling hands, looking up at Erik tearfully.

"Why are you doing this? What did I do wrong? You know I didn't ever steal anything from you! You can check my pockets! I have nothing!"

Erik grabbed him roughly by the shoulder and shook him about."Liar! You already spent it on your fucking dope!"

"That's not true! You bought the H I've been using!"Charles protested, but Erik was already pushing him towards the front door.

"Get the fuck out of my apartment you fucking smack whore!"Erik yelled at him, giving him one hard push out into the hallway. Charles didn't even have his shirt on yet. Trembling and angry at Erik's behavior, he hollered some cutting words towards Erik, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Fuck you! I'm leaving and I won't ever come back, you asshole! You used me up and got tired with me, didn't you? That's why you couldn't get it up! Just because you couldn't get it up you suddenly can't wait to get away from me!"

"Stop making a scene or I'm calling the cops!"Erik hissed at him from the doorway.

"Go ahead, you motherfucking weirdo! Call the fucking cops on me!"Charles dared him.

Erik slammed the door close on Charles and then he sagged against the closed door, sliding down to the floor and feeling awful about the entire thing. He could hear Charles still cussing and yelling about his flaccid cock, throwing insults his way, but Erik didn't bother retaliating. Seeing that wounded look in Charles' face broke his heart. He didn't mean the things he said. He wanted to get away from Charles because he just didn't want Charles to acknowledge those feelings. He began to cry, hugging his folded legs close to his chest and shoving his face to his knees. Later, he tried to get drunk, hoping it would help him forget Charles, but he couldn't. He even tried to dial the number of one of his hooker acquaintances, but he stopped himself. He began to worry about Charles when he got back to bed after taking a cold shower. Charles really didn't have any money on him. Charles wasn't even able to get his gear from Erik's bathroom. He didn't have anything once his comedown passes. A clap of thunder from outside suddenly caused Erik to jump up from bed. It was going to rain. He'd taken Charles away from his own city and Charles didn't have a means of going back, not without money. He surmised that Charles would attempt to hustle for cash, either to get dope or subway money. Concerned, Erik hurriedly dressed, carrying Charles' gear in the pocket of his coat. He hurried out of the apartment and then it began to rain, lightning and thunder crashing through the dreary skies.

Charles did indeed attempt to hustle for money. Even though he wasn't familiar with the territory. He entered a billiards bar, the same one where Erik got beat up and tried his tricks on three men playing billiards. He attempted to awkwardly seduce the bald one, coincidentally, the same guy who beat Erik up. He was too shaken after his fight with Erik that he couldn't pull himself together. Not only that, he failed to discern if these men were into gay sex or not. The men regarded Charles with contempt and then Charles realized he attracted trouble rather than a suitable john to give him some subway money. The bald guy tightened his grip on his billiard stick as he menacingly stepped towards Charles.

Erik ran into the rain, loudly calling for Charles' name, frantic to find the other soon before he lost sight of him. He cursed himself under his breath. It's been several hours since Charles left his apartment. He didn't know if he'll be able to find him. Perhaps fate had a hand in it, but he suddenly ran down the same street where he got beat up and then he heard some brawling in a narrow alley way. Someone was getting beat up. He heard it loud and clear even under a torrent of rain.

At this instant, he had this strange foreboding that it was Charles getting pummeled. He quietly slunk into that alleyway and sure enough, it was Charles, with three men taking turns beating the living shit out of him. Two of them were holding Charles, while a third pounded his face and his stomach with punches.

"Fucking fag! You think I'm into that shit?"The bald man spat into Charles' bloodied face and then he punched Charles' face hard, enough to knock him back, but the other men, sprang him right up to receive more blows from their brutish pal.

"Please, stop! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to--UGH!"Charles wasn't able to finish because the bald guy punched his mouth, causing blood to fly from his lips.

Charles repeatedly begged them to stop, his voice growing feeble, but they ignored his pleas. Erik recognized the bald goon beating on Charles. Talk about coincidences...and payback. Quaking with anger, Erik flung himself at the bald guy and launched a punch into his face, surprising the men. Distracted, the men restraining Charles released him and Charles slid bonelessly to the ground, his clothes soaked with both rainwater and blood and his eyes shutting close. He lost consciousness before he could see his savior's face.

 _You won't be getting the jump on me this time_ , Erik thought in a rage as he got into a punching match with the three men. Erik didn't know where he found the strength, but even when the men tried to attack him simultaneously, he fought back like a raging bull. They couldn't seem to bring him down. He received their punches like it was nothing, but his blows brought them a world of hurt. Roaring at the top of his lungs, Erik charged at them, using a piece of wood he picked up and he hit them over the head with it, knocking them out. They ended up moaning and squirming at his feet and now it was Erik's turn to spit at the bald guy who beat him up before.

"You like the taste of cement, you shit? Who's got the jump on you now, huh?"Erik shouted at him insolently, driving the bald man's bleeding face into the pavement with his foot, causing the other to groan painfully. When Erik was sure that all three men were finally incapacitated, he went to Charles, gently cradling the other in his arms. They beat him up pretty badly. Charles had a cut on his forehead and they split his lip open and he was bleeding copiously. Not only that, Charles' face was a bruised and pulpy mess, the front of his cream-colored shirt stained with his blood. The rain hid the tears that poured from Erik's eyes, seeing Charles like this. _He did this to him._

"Charles! Charles! Can you hear me?"Erik shouted in the rain, hoping to rouse Charles, but Charles remained unconscious. Alarmed, Erik carried Charles in his arms as he staggered out of the alleyway and into the streets, with Charles' limbs dangling lifelessly about. The rain still poured down on them, hard. Erik could barely see the street signs now. Erik initially intended to take Charles to a hospital, but stopped short. He knew that if he took Charles to a hospital, they would find out he was taking Heroin and Charles wouldn't ever forgive him if they locked him up and forced him into one of their government drug programs. Although Erik didn't have any close friends, he thought of only one person who could help Charles.

 

"Alright! Alright! I'm coming! Jesus!"Hank cried out irritably as he rubbed at his eyes before putting on his glasses and opening the door. He had every right to be irritable because some idiot knocked at his door in the middle of a rainy night, forcing him out of his sleep. He got quite a shock when he recognized the man who knocked frantically at his front door. It was Erik Lehnsherr. He hadn't seen Erik in many years. They used to work together, selling and promoting new drugs at several hospitals before they parted ways. Last Erik heard of Hank, he became a doctor with a private clinic and Erik found out where he established his practice when they met once at a mutual friend's wedding. Moreover, Hank and Erik used to be childhood friends. Hank noticed that years had been kind to his former colleague and he looked very attractive, despite his bruised face. He carried a young man in his arms, the other obviously assaulted and soaking wet under the rain. Hank was too dumbfounded to move. All he could do was stare at Erik for a while, his mouth hanging stupidly open before Erik himself pushed in through the door, allowing himself in.

"You gotta help me, Hank. Some men had beaten him up. I don't know how bad it is-"

"What the hell, Erik! You should have taken this guy to a hospital!"Hank cried out in exasperation.

"I can't, Hank. He's a junkie. They'll know he's using. They'll send him to jail for sure-"Erik said desperately.

Hank found it odd that Erik was so concerned for this young man's well-being. Erik placed the young man upon Hank's sofa and Hank took a good look at the boy. The boy was breathing shallowly, his face horribly bruised on the left side and his nose and his lip busted up and bleeding. Hank did a cursory inspection and then he knew what he needed to do. He got up and asked Erik to wait while he rummaged through his own medicine cabinet for a first aid kit and some medicine. Erik sat back and quietly watched as Hank treated Charles' injuries. When he finished, he sat next to Erik, gravely waiting for Erik to explain himself.

"Nice seeing you too, Hank-"Erik said wanly, giving the other a forced smile.

"Explain this to me, Erik."

Erik sighed tiredly."What's there to explain? Look, let me just pay for this and we'll be out of your hair-"

"I'll call the cops if you won't tell me the truth!"Hank threatened him and Erik could only regard Hank with disbelief. He shook his head slowly.

"Ok. Fine. I've been...seeing this guy. He's a sex worker. He sells himself to acquire drug money. That's how we met-"

"Holy shit, Erik!"Hank cried out, incredulous. He knew Erik as a ladies man, but to find his former colleague getting into exotic sex...

Erik held his stare, his expression hard."I'm not proud of it, ok? I fucked up big time, but I...I care about Charles. We had an argument and I sent him off. That's how he got beat up. This was my fault."

Erik wearily got up and knelt by Charles' side. He gently touched Charles' cheek, tears welling in his eyes.

"I never met anyone like him. He's a good person. He accepted me and made me feel good about myself for once. My life's shot to shit, Hank and I don't know what to do anymore. It's getting out of hand-"

"What is?"

Erik suddenly chuckled bitterly, his expression anguished."You all knew me to be a pussy magnet, but I'm really just...just a fucking sex addict and I can't even admit that to myself, until now. Charles didn't deserve this from me. He needs help. We both need help and I can't do anything for him! I...I-"

He began to sob uncontrollably over Charles' chest, feeling like this was the most terrible night of his life, equal to the night he sent his mother away. He wanted nothing more than to self-destruct, to kill himself and end the emptiness inside. He kept trying to search for intimacy from strangers because of this hunger in him and when something genuine comes along, he pushes it away. He's so fucked up.

"Man, you don't need me for that! You both need professional help. That's not my field-"Hank began, trying to reason with him.

Erik recalled that while he was alone with Charles during those first few days, he felt sane. He didn't focus on anyone else but Charles. He had a few moments of weakness, sure, but his focus always returned to Charles. He suddenly had an idea. It was a crazy one, but it was worth a shot. He wanted to do it before he lost his nerve.

"We don't need professional help, Hank. I only need Charles and he only needs me-"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm going to help Charles quit and in time, he's going to help me with my own problem-"

"What are you talking about?"

"It's people, Hank! The people around us are driving us both to do the things we do! If we only have each other, if we didn't have our distractions and compulsions, then maybe...we'll get better together-"

Erik turned to face Hank."Do you still own that Country house back home? The one your Uncle bequeathed to you?"

Hank's eyes widened when he realized what Erik intended to do."You're crazy! You'll kill him with what you're planning to do and you'll drive yourself insane!"

"Don't you see? That's the only way! I don't have any sexual desire for him anymore because of how I feel about him. That'll help me with my sex problem. If I take him away, I can help him through his withdrawal and then I can help him when he goes into full-on cold turkey-"

Charles slept on, oblivious to Erik's plans. Hank shook his head vehemently."Who's going to help you when you go through your own withdrawal, huh?"Hank demanded.

Now it was Erik's turn to look stunned. Of course. His condition was no different from a drug addict. If he didn't get his own fix, he'll undergo withdrawal as well and not only that, he'd go into a state of despair and depression. Hank nodded when he saw the understanding dawning upon Erik. Nevertheless, Erik only felt a moment of hesitation, but he still wanted to go ahead with this insane plan.

"Supervise us, then. Visit us at the Country house-"

"No! Hell no! I won't be taking part of this nonsense! It's absolutely insane and I refuse to help you kill yourself!"

 

"So you know what to do, right? Let him have some Heroin, but you'll slowly wean him off it. Straightaway, he's going to demand that you increase the dose, but don't get swayed no matter how hard he begs for it. Sooner or later, you'll cut him off from Heroin and induce a withdrawal. This is not the worst part yet. To safely transition after withdrawal, you still have to get him through the next phase. Just to emphasize how important this part is, if you force him into a straight-up cold turkey, we don't know how the hell he's going to respond. He might go into seizures or worse, suffer a stroke. I don't know his medical history so you have to ask him everything once he's coherent, got that?"

"Yes, I got it."

"Ok. In the next phase, you'll introduce him to Subutex or Suboxone. You should probably give him twenty-four to seventy-two hours before the transition, with attention to what works for him. It depends on how soon you can get him off this one. You can have him on it for four to eight weeks and then the real cold turkey begins. Remember, it's his willingness to recover that will make this part work. If you can convince him, then congratulations. If not, then it will all be for nothing-"

"Thanks, Hank. I owe you for this-"

Hank ran a frustrated hand through his hair. He had gone to a drug rehabilitation center nearby, using his credentials to purchase Charles' withdrawal kit. Erik wrote a check to pay for Charles' medical expenses and Hank couldn't believe that Erik would go this far for someone he barely knew. There really must be something special about Charles. Eventually, he hoped that Erik's plan would work. However, a greater part of him doubted it.

"I must be insane, agreeing to your lunacy!"

Erik laughed at that, clapping a hand over Hank's back."You know this will help you too, when you submit a clinical study on it!"

Hank coughed weakly at that, glaring at Erik."I only agreed to do this on the condition that I visit you and Charles every month. By the way, did you contact your Boss?"

"Oh, he was a good ol' sport about it. Would you believe he agreed that I should take the year off? Provided of course, that they could consult me from time to time. You'll be receiving my emails for me since I'm leaving you my cell phone-"

Hank shook his head in disbelief once more."Crazy! The whole world's gone crazy!"

Erik actually had to borrow Hank's Land Rover, which Hank usually used to go fishing at the Country House. It was a good thing Hank had a spare car. Erik went to check on Charles, touching his forehead. Erik's joviality immediately disappeared.

"He's got a fever. Maybe I should give him some Heroin first to-"

Hank shook his head again."No. If he's going to stop, you should start him on it now. I know it will hurt him and I know he'll suffer like hell, but this is for his own good. Heroin withdrawal's a bitch. I've at least done some research on it, unlike you. He'll need your support more than ever-"

Erik nodded, grimly determined to go through with this, despite the possibility of failure.

Hank had helped Erik with the preparations, getting all the necessary supplies into the car and promising to come each month to give him more supplies, with Erik leaving some money to pay for the initial purchases. The rain had already stopped and the air felt cool and bracing against Erik's cheeks. He barely slept as he kept a close watch on Charles. Hank did almost all the work to get everything Erik and Charles needed. It was almost dawn when Erik carried Charles into Hank's car, carefully putting him into the passenger seat. They had to leave early while it was still light. Charles woke up momentarily, but he couldn't see anything. He could only see blurry shapes.

"It's going to be alright."Someone soothed him, the voice sounded deep and far away and then Charles lost consciousness again.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello to my dear readers! :) Thank you for going this far with me. As promised, here is Chapter 4 and I'd like to say this is the part where you guess what movie I chose to influence my work, because this is the chapter that starts it all ;) Thanks again for your continued support <3

 

Everything sounded so distant, so far away; his sensations dulled further by a constant blur over his eyes, like he was seeing everything through opaque glass. He reached out slowly to his side and his hand met with some resistance. The surface of the dream glass felt strangely solid. He tapped at the glass with his fingers, willing his fingertips to go through it, still thinking that this was just all a dream. Tap, tap, the sound went, but somehow muted. It was real after all. I'm in a car, he mused dreamily. Suffering from a delayed reaction, Charles didn't sense the cool hand that suddenly touched his burning forehead until he heard someone speak beside him. A man's deep and calm voice, filled with concern addressed him.

"We're almost there, Charles. Jesus, your fever's gone up!"

Charles tried to respond, but his vocal cords refused to function, his eyes feverish slits as he regarded his blurry companion. He felt strangely disconnected from his own body, only feeling flashes of heat and cold. He shivered with his ague, too delirious to understand that his body is about to become a battleground and this was only the first onslaught. He remembered rain and his face colliding with a fisted hand. He remembered blood and pain. The memory of the painful assault caused him to sob.

"I'm sorry, Charles. Are you hurting right now? Are you in pain?"

Charles wasn't supposed to feel any pain. Hank had given Charles just about enough Codeine for that. Because Codeine is a weak opioid and Hank considered it the lesser of two evils, he injected the drug into Charles while the other was unconscious. Hank advised Erik that he could give Charles some Heroin, but only after eight hours had passed, regardless if Charles begged him for the Heroin to alleviate the pain due to the beating he took. Restraint and moderation are both a key factor in beginning Charles' treatment, however, it was just unfortunate that his road to recovery begins only after getting assaulted. The problem with Codeine is that every individual has a different response to it, depending on how fast an individual's body processes the drug. Since Hank injected it into Charles hours ago before they left, Charles' body should've converted it into morphine. The question now is, how fast did Charles' system metabolize the drug?

In response, Charles shook his head weakly, shoulders hitching because of the fever. He couldn't really feel anything yet. Rather than becoming a hindrance, his drug use served him well, for the Codeine had indeed kicked in and numbed his senses. Erik exhaled a sigh of relief at that. He had parked the Land Rover in a parking area along the freeway to check on Charles. It was only mid-morning, however, Charles was already sweating profusely and Erik had to keep wiping Charles' face and his back. Charles only had a blanket wrapped around his body and he was wearing one of Hank's old jogging pants. Hank made a hasty purchase of clothes for them, but Erik hadn't checked the bags yet. Erik didn't want to go back to his apartment because he knew that his resolve would crumble if he did. Owing to his strange state of mind, he got this far with Charles. If he stopped to think things through, he knew he'd go back to his old ways again. He knew this was reckless and crazy, whatever he's doing, but he wasn't thinking about sex for once and he thought, that was a good thing. As long as his focus was on something else, sex became the furthest thought in his mind. Charles suddenly lost consciousness again, his head slumping against the Land Rover's window. Erik gently patted his shoulder and continued to drive on. Despite his determination, after an hour into the drive, he began to doubt his decision to save Charles and himself.

_What the hell am I doing?_

He took this audacious venture in the hope that this would become his salvation, as well as Charles' own, but he didn't consider the repercussions. Hank was right. Even though he felt affection for Charles, he's still a stranger to him. While he was in Hank's house, he rejected Hank's reasoning, thinking that the only way to get better is to shut himself and Charles from the rest of the world, away from the source of their vices. He frequently stopped the car when they got past the freeway. Only a few cars passed them on this country road at this point. He kept pressing his forehead on to the steering wheel, grimacing, wanting to scream and rage, but he stifled himself. Charles was his priority right now. He had to take Charles to Hank's country house. When he was at the country houses' driveway, he shot out of the car and he began to shout the same curse word repeatedly up at the skies, needing to get the rage out of his system.

"Fuck!"

He immediately stopped when he thought of Charles. He had to take care of Charles first. He walked towards the passenger side to look in on Charles. He's sleeping for now, oblivious to Erik's screaming. One look at Charles' face and Erik softened. Charles' battered face only served to emphasize his vulnerability and it tugged at Erik's heart because in his mind, what happened to Charles was his fault. For him, it was okay to be self-destructive and it's okay to behave like an indifferent ass to everyone else, but it's not okay when someone he cares about ends up hurt like this because of his callousness. He opened the car door and carried Charles in his arms. Erik thought Charles was too light, with barely any heft when he carried the other towards the house. He settled Charles upon a porch chair first so he could open the front door to the country house. Hank informed him that he recently visited the country house, so it would certainly appear habitable and clean. Erik used the key Hank had given him and he opened the door. Sure enough, the place was spotless. Nestled within private grounds owned by Hank's family, the two-story country house even has its own fishing area, which opens out towards the sea, so it gave Erik some assurance that no vandals would come around to deface the property or disturb their peace. Hank took Erik to this house when they were teenagers and Erik remembered that he admired the tranquility and seclusion the place offered. It still looked the same. Although stationed in a private property, the house had the necessary amenities. There's electricity and running water, as well as functioning toilets, as Erik recalled. He carried Charles into the house and laid him out on a sofa, carefully wrapping him in a new blanket and checking on his state. The fever hasn't gone down yet, his breathing ragged and his brow furrowed by his troubled sleep.

"I'm here, Charles. I'm here. I'll take care of you-"Erik assured him, even though Charles wouldn't hear his words.

He left Charles to get the supplies and to inspect the house. After a cursory inspection, he noticed that there's a functioning landline still installed. Of course, when he picked up the old-fashioned handset, he heard a dial tone. He quickly dialed Hank's number and the other promptly picked up.

"Erik! How was it? Did Charles gain consciousness?"

"Yes he did, but he seems delirious. I don't think he even knows who I am. He didn't ask for any Heroin yet."

"Well that's good. Is the place okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks, but Hank, his fever hasn't gone down. I'm worried. You said you gave him something for the fever, right? It doesn't seem to be working-"

A brief silence from Hank. Then,"Give him some Heroin. You can give it to him now. I know it's stretching it, but back in the day, People used Heroin to treat illnesses and ye old time maladies. It might help bring down his fever if you gave him a sufficient dose."

"Alright, I'll do that."

"I've included some guidebooks for you to read about Heroin Withdrawal treatment and a book for your condition. Basically, since we want Charles in a safe environment, you're going to have to store away anything he could use for self-harm. You know what I mean-"

Indeed, Erik was aware of what Hank meant. If Charles didn't get his fix, he'll surely resort to self-mutilation and possibly attempt suicide to get his way.

"Erik, this will be hell for you, you know that, don't you? You'll have to be his life coach, 24/7 and you'll have to contend with his withdrawal as well as your own withdrawal."

Erik ran a frustrated hand over his face."I know that, Hank, but when do we begin, if not now? If I stopped to think it through, I know I'll just lose my willpower. I almost turned back, so many times while I was driving out here, I swear to God-"

"You're beginning to understand, right?"

"Yeah."Erik couldn't hide the regret in his voice, but it was too late to turn back now. He had to finish what he started. A moment of silence settled between them and then Hank broke it.

"Let me remind you again, you're there to help Charles and yourself. Don't lose your focus. I'm not there to see things through so please, if we want this to work, I need you to listen to me-"

"Okay, Hank."

"Good. Like what we've discussed, you'll wean him off Heroin slowly, decreasing the dosage each time and then we let him go through an abrupt withdrawal, so he can transition to Subutex or Suboxone. I included both kits in your supplies. Make sure he doesn't get his hands on them. Lock them away!"

"Isn't Methadone better?"

Hank made a scoffing sound from the other end of the line."On the contrary, Methadone will still keep him addicted, if we used that as his transition substance. No way am I going to recommend that shit! It will do Charles some good if we skip that and go straight to Subutex or Suboxone."

"I read somewhere that they aren't dispensing Subutex anymore. How in the hell did you get some?"

"That's false information, right there. Both these drugs are still available, but usually under the close supervision of certified doctors. How did I acquire the Subutex? I know people, of course. That's important in my field. Which reminds me, you used to have some medical background, so I know you can manage Charles' recovery treatment. If not, just brush up using the books I bought for you. Now remember, you must constantly update me. If you can't contact me, make sure you write everything that happens in that journal I included with your books-"

"Okay, got it."

"Oh and hide the phone in the bedroom upstairs. There's a cabinet in there, where you can slide a phone cord through. You're using the phone in the living room, right? Just disconnect that one and hide it so Charles won't be able to call on someone. Use my upstairs phone instead when you call me again. What else, hmm? I have two bedrooms in that house. You can supervise Charles in the other room. I think I have some hasps and locks in my tool shed outside. Install that on the door and lock him in there whenever you can't supervise him-"

"I'll get to that once we're done."

"If it gets boring for you guys, I have a few movies stored in my Uncle's old gun cabinet. No guns there, anymore, okay and the movies aren't sexual in content so I'm sure it's not going to affect you. I also have some board games in there, along with some chess. If he's willing, take Charles out for walks or you could go fishing. My fishing stuff is in the tool shed too-"

"Thanks, Hank. I really appreciate all you've done for us-"

"Hey, anything for an old friend. If you need anything more, just give me a call-"

"Will do."Erik said and then they exchanged quick goodbyes and ended the call. Erik immediately disconnected the phone and took it upstairs.

He went to Charles and administered the Heroin to help with Charles' fever. Charles' shivering actually subsided and his troubled expression softened. He eventually fell into a deep sleep, allowing Erik to work and make the necessary preparations. He followed Hank's instructions and once he finished his tasks, he ate a quick meal and tended to Charles, wiping him with a damp washcloth and checking his temperature. Charles' temperature was definitely going down, but he didn't move Charles yet. He allowed Charles to sleep on while he read the book on Heroin withdrawal, together with the book on sexual addiction. When he read about the symptoms of Charles' drug withdrawal, he realized that it wouldn't do to lock Charles in the upstairs bedroom. Hank's uncle had only one sink installed in the master bedroom. Charles needed to be close to a bathroom so he could relieve himself quickly and he'll need to take warm baths to counter the chills. He'll have to keep Charles downstairs, but how was he to keep Charles from attempting to leave? He left Charles for a moment to park their vehicle some distance from the house, in an open field and then he took additional measures to prevent Charles from leaving. When he got back to the house, it shocked him to find Charles crawling on the floor, moaning and sobbing incoherently.

"Hot! It burns! Fuuhh-"

"Oh my God, Charles!"Erik cried out and hurried to help Charles up. Charles was looking up at him with wide eyes, even though his other eye appeared half-closed due to becoming swollen shut after his beating. His skin felt cold to the touch, even dripping with perspiration and yet Charles moaned out that it was hot.

"W-Who are you?"Charles moaned and then Erik realized Charles was still delirious.

"It's me. It's Erik-"Erik said quietly and then to his immense shock, Charles hooked his arms around him and drew him close, kissing his lips sloppily. Erik hastily pulled back, as if burned while Charles moaned and writhed on the floor, calling his name. Charles began to fondle his own cock through his pants, his head lolling about restlessly and Erik gingerly went back to Charles to hug him and soothe him.

"Shh, it's ok. I'm here. I'm here."

"Erik, help me. Please-"Charles sobbed brokenly against his chest and then Charles lost consciousness again. Erik sighed tiredly and then he helped Charles back into the sofa. His fever has gone down. Erik prepared some warm water and wiped Charles down using a wet washcloth and then he wrapped Charles in another fresh blanket. Erik busied himself by doing some laundry, frequently looking in on Charles and cooking lunch. Hank's lower floor design afforded him a view of the entire room, because there's no partition dividing the living room, kitchen and dining area, he'll surely be able to keep an eye on Charles in this place. Even Hank's bathroom gave him a vantage point. There's an old-fashioned cast iron radiator in there, close to a bathtub and if he walked closer to the door he could see the toilet. Come to think of it, this was the largest bathroom he'd ever seen. Erik recalled there used to be cabinets in there and a full-body mirror, but it's gone now, making the room appear even larger.

Erik attempted to rouse Charles. He hadn't eaten anything since they left the city, however, Charles slept on. Erik ate by himself and read the books while eating. Hank was right, though. He was starting to get bored. He'd been too used to the city life that he began to feel restless and anxious. He walked around the room, looking for things to do and of course, he attended on Charles. He had to do something, otherwise he'd lose his resolve and drive back to the city with Charles. He peered out the window and noticed that Hank didn't only come out here just to fish. Hank's been doing some gardening. It made Erik wonder how frequently Hank visited the place. It appeared significantly well-tended. Perhaps Hank wouldn't mind if Erik did some gardening of his own. He did notice Hank had gardening books on his bookshelves aside from books on fishing and lures. The day drew on uneventfully and Erik had to be thankful for that, but he's concerned about Charles not eating anything yet. Sooner or later, Charles will wake up and Erik wanted to be ready when he does. Erik knew Charles would demand some explanation for his predicament, not to mention he'd be angry as hell and Erik braced himself for it.

 

_Charles ran into the night, barefoot, the squelch of wet vegetation and roots clinging  to his feet, but he barely felt any of it. It was dark, so dark he couldn't even see his own body. His heart pounded frantically within his chest, right up to his temples and it also rang within his ears. The sound of humming cicadas were also so loud that it disconcerted him. He didn't know where he was going. He just ran and ran. He suddenly tripped and he began to cry. Then he immediately knew where he was. He's back home. He's in his father's farm and his father left him again. His father knew he was afraid of the dark and he knew that the thing Charles feared the most was getting left alone. His father always had that mean streak in him, causing Charles to have skewed ideas about trust.  
_

_"Dad! Dad please! Don't leave me here!"Charles howled out despairingly as he cried, tears coursing down his pale cheeks. He felt like seven again, vulnerable and left alone in the deep of the night, cruelly pranked by his own father. He could faintly hear his father's jeering laughter from far off, the cicadas seeming to laugh along with him. Charles heard a rustling sound and he quickly turned his head towards it._

_"Dad?"Charles said in a low voice, eyes wide and frightened._

_A figure suddenly emerged from between two high bushes, calling his name softly. Whoever it was, Charles knew that person meant to harm him. His father had warned him about strangers. He must never trust anyone. To demonstrate the menace the figure intended for him, the person began to walk towards him threateningly. Charles backed away from him slowly._

_"No!"_

_"Wait!"The dark figure cried out._

_Charles didn't heed his warning. He began to run, screaming, his legs feeling leaden, like he was walking on something sticky. He stumbled and yet he got up and ran on, but to his horror, the figure caught him and was hauling him back the way he came._

_"No! No! Let me go! Dad, help me!"Charles screamed up at the dark skies, unable to stop crying and screaming and to his surprise, the dangerous stranger hugged him instead. Arms tightly wrapped around his midsection, the stranger whispered into his ear._

_"It's okay. I won't hurt you. You're safe now. You're safe, shhh!"_

_Charles didn't know why, but he allowed the stranger to hug him and carry him away. The arms wrapped around him felt strong; the stranger's voice soothing and kind. The stranger didn't intend to harm him after all. Charles turned and wrapped his arms around the stranger's neck._

_"Please! I'm scared! Dad left me here!"Charles sobbed against the stranger's cheek._

_"I'm here for you. I'm here."The stranger whispered tenderly and strangely enough, Charles felt a wetness when he touched the stranger's face. Was the stranger crying because of his plight?_

_The blackness beneath his lids claimed him before Charles could comprehend the kind stranger's concern for him._

 

He occasionally gained consciousness, however brief and his kind guardian fed him and nursed him back to health. He'd suddenly come to in a warm tub and at his back, he could feel gentle fingers running through his hair, washing him and then he'd black out again. Sometimes he'd gain a moment of clarity and find that he's puking into a toilet, crying and shivering and then he'd feel the same kind hands rubbing his shoulders and speaking to him soothingly. He knew why he was getting sick like this. The comedown was coming much quicker. He knew the stranger gave him some H to help with the pain and he'd feel the rush of a short high and then he'd surrender himself to the blissful darkness again.

Charles came to in an ill-lit room, his vision still cloudy as he blinked repeatedly, licking at his arid lips and staring up at the ceiling. He slowly got up, shaking his head slightly as if to clear it and then he saw this unfamiliar room before him. He had no idea how he got here. Is he in a...bathroom? He's surrounded by cream-colored tile walls and beneath his feet were large, slate gray tiles for the flooring. Further to the right there's a bathtub, a sink, a heater and a toilet. He looked at where he'd been lying down and saw that he's lying on an old red vinyl couch, shoved beneath a wide box window, the shutters closed. He had fractured memories of getting beat up and then he had blacked out. He also recalled that he ran into a large, grassy field and it was dark, looking for his father and begging the other not to leave him, but he was not sure if it was a dream or not. Days sometimes passed when he didn't even know if anything that ever happened was real, but he felt so strangely detached from it, like he did not even care. He was about to get up from the vinyl couch he was lying on when he felt the cold touch of metal at his midsection. He looked down and at first, he was not sure he was seeing what he thought he was seeing. He had a thick chain with a large padlock on it wrapped around his waist. He was wearing a t-shirt and jogging pants that he did not recall ever owning.  
  
"The fuck?" Charles said in a small, disbelieving voice.  
  
He reached for the chain, tugging at it. It was long and he was pulling at it like a rope and then he felt the snag. He then saw the other end of the chain's link, padlocked together around an exposed metal drainage pipe, the circumference wide and industrial-grade. Generally speaking, it's a tough son of a bitch to break. Charles' eyes grew wide at the sight of it, a dull thudding, resounding in his chest and a coldness spreading in his stomach.  
  
_Why the hell am I chained up?_  
  
He tinkered with the lock, testing it, trying to see if it would come loose but it was pretty strong. He started to walk over to where the pipe stood to see if he could free himself but he suddenly felt his own legs give out beneath him and he collapsed to the tile floor, the whole room seemed to spin before his eyes as a wave of dizziness throbbed inside his head. Sweat misted his forehead as he lay there, gasping and weak. He was familiar with the condition he was starting to feel. He had not had his fix in a while and he was aware of the symptoms that came along with it. He could not help it when he started to cry softly to himself and then he felt the presence of another person in the room. He lifted his head slowly and he saw a familiar face before him, standing in the doorway. Shit. He did not expect to see this person again. He narrowed his eyes at the other. He must be the one that chained him up. Charles carefully sat up and lifted part of the chain up.  
  
"What's the meaning of this? Why did you chain me up here?"  
  
The man sighed softly and sat on a nearby chair from across him. Just weeks ago, he met this man, Erik Lehnsherr and they probably had the best sex he would ever have in his life and initially, Erik was all smiles and candy, giving him all the drugs and sex he needed but when things got sour, Erik had thrown him out of his apartment and he ended up trying to hustle for more drugs and fare money on the streets and that was when he had gotten beaten up. How he ended up with Erik again, he was not sure.  
  
"You know why I'm doing this, Charles-"Erik said with finality as he stared at him.  
  
Charles could not believe he was hearing this, not from the very man who had sent him off with a screaming match in the hallway of Erik's apartment floor. He thought that was the end of things. He couldn't understand why Erik even cared to do this thing he was attempting to do now. He tried to appeal to him.  
  
"Listen, I appreciate this drastic measure you are trying to do for me, but let's not waste any of our time. I'm an addict for life. I'm a hopeless case. We both know that this won't work, whatever you think you are doing here. So please, let me go-"  
  
Erik just stared at him silently. Charles felt anger rising inside himself, but he struggled for control. It was not good to argue with the one who has the upper hand.  
  
"I thought you said you're tired of my shit?" Charles said softly as he gazed up at the stone-faced idiot who trussed him up like this. He was trying to turn on the charm, giving him a coy look.  
  
"I thought the same too-" Erik mumbled and then he looked away. When he spoke again, his voice was barely audible.  
  
"I followed you. I ran out into the streets looking for you after we argued. I saw those men beating you up and I stopped them. You were already unconscious-"  
  
Charles's eyes widened at that. He had a faint memory of lying there on the pavement, beaten to a pulp and then he fleetingly saw someone in the shadows beating up the men who had hurt him that night, before he lost consciousness. Erik saved him. Who knows what might have happened to him if Erik had not done that. He would have been just one other dead body found in some gutter and no one would give a shit. Now it was Charles's turn to look away, feeling chastised for some reason.  
  
"Thank you,"Charles said quietly. He tugged at the chain and it made a loud clinking sound on the tiles.  
  
"I'm glad you saved me, but you have me chained up here, Erik. You can't keep me against my will. You have to let me go-"  
  
"No,"Erik said, his face deadpan.  
  
Charles lifted his head and stared at Erik angrily.  
  
"Are you crazy? You can't keep me chained up here!"He shouted out at the other.  
  
"Yes, I can-"

"Fuck! What do you want from me?" Charles cried out in his truculence, his face was reddening in his anger. His head was aching horribly now, his heart beating painfully inside his chest. It dawned upon him that Erik was going to keep him chained up here to prevent him from obtaining his drugs. In a panic, he got up from the floor, his blue eyes blazing up at Erik.

"GET THIS GODDAMNED CHAIN OFF ME!"Charles hollered at him.

Erik stubbornly kept his face blank and shook his head."No. I saved your life, didn't I? I'm responsible for you now. You asked me to help you, even though you were delirious when you said it at that time, we both know you need me. Deep down, you're crying out for help. Now whether you like it or not, I'm helping you-"

Charles' entire body began to shake. The panic engulfed his mind now. If he didn't get his H, he knew he'd die out here in the fucking boondocks where Erik's keeping him. The fucking bastard kidnapped him! He noticed that pipe was directly positioned towards the front door and the door was wide open. He trained his eyes towards it. Perhaps he could make a run for it. If he ran, he was sure a weak link in the chain will eventually break, allowing him to escape. Erik began to walk around the tiled floor, momentarily turning his attention away from Charles.

"I positioned the couch here in the bathroom, so it would be easier for you, in case you started getting sick and if your stomach gets upset. If you need food, just call me, I'm right outside. The chain's long enough so you can walk around. We have movies and books and some other shit to keep you entertained. I can pull up the TV here if you like, but we can only use it for watching movies-"

Charles chuckled uneasily."Listen, if you wanna fuck me, all you need to do is ask. This is what it's all about, isn't it? You feel bad because you couldn't get it up that one time. If I suck you off long enough, I'm sure I'll get you going. Just...just let me go after-"

Erik stopped and turned to regard Charles, his eyes intent on him."This isn't about that, Charles. Our paths crossed for a reason. I haven't felt strongly about anyone like this before. I think I feel this way about you because we're both the same, you and I. We both want the same thing-"

Now Charles did a double-take, hearing Erik talk like this. Has Erik gone insane?

"Are you a crazy person or something?"Charles suddenly blurted out, narrowing his eyes at Erik.

"No, I'm not-"

"Is this a religious crusade to you? Is that it? Have you turned into a nutty Jesus freak out to fuck the evil out of me?"Charles said in a small voice, his heart thudding faster in his chest now, fearing for his life.

Erik ran a hand over his face."Enough with that filthy talk, Charles. Your fever's passed, now its time we start with your recovery. This is what it's all about-"

"No-"Charles said in a soft, child-like voice, shaking his head in denial.

"I know it's going to be hard, but I'll help you through your withdrawal-"

When Erik mentioned the magic word 'withdrawal', Charles lost it. He pushed Erik away roughly, screaming hysterically."NO! I can't stay here! I can't stay here!"

He raced out of the bathroom quickly, running for the front door and crying out to anyone for help, but before he could get far, the chain reached its limit and instead of breaking free from it, the chain tugged at his midsection, momentarily stunning him. He collapsed to the ground, gasping and squinting at the bright blue sky. He staggered upwards and began to run around wildly.

"Somebody help me! Help!"

The chain prevented him from getting any further away from the house. He yanked at the chain angrily, sobbing and crying for help. Erik got on his elbows and stared at the chain, twanging with a metallic lilt as it clattered against the pipe while Charles helplessly pulled at it. It was truly tough, even though it's an old relic. It sounded like the final tolling of a death bell as Charles kept fighting against his restraint, frantic and nearly going insane because of the horrifying thought that he won't be having anymore H due to a lunatic keeping him against his will. Erik suddenly appeared at the front door, wrapping part of the chain around his right arm. Charles refused to yield. He wrenched at the chain and screamed on.

"Let me go, you fucking psycho!"

Erik shook his head adamantly."You can scream all you want, but no one's going to hear you out here so just deal with it! I'm going to take care of you and I'm not going to give up on you either. Whatever happens, I'm going to see this through. Now, get your ass back in the house, right now!"

Charles suddenly stopped resisting and glared up at Erik. He walked over to him, insolently lifting his chin."What? What are you going to do to me, you fucking freak show?"

In an act of rebelliousness, he spat into Erik's face and Erik's eyes flashed out at him in a cutting stare. Charles realized he'd pushed Erik beyond his limit. He eyed Erik cautiously as the other stepped towards him in a threatening manner.

The chain splintered up the wooden surface of the side of the door, slivers of wood and chips of paint crumbling down on to the floor as Charles continued to fight against his restraint. Erik was dragging him across the wooden floor unceremoniously and Charles was now clinging on to a wooden post, refusing to budge. The chain tugging at his midsection hurt like hell.

"Aw! It hurts!"Charles yelled out in a trembling voice, the chain pressing down upon his flesh painfully.

"Now who's fault is that?"Erik countered as he relentlessly tugged on the other end of the chain. Charles, as equally stubborn as Erik, kept on fighting until his frail body couldn't take anymore. It's as if he and Erik fought a tug-of-war game, with Charles' feet braced at the doorway, tugging on the chain with both hands now, while Erik yanked the other end violently.

"Fine! Okay! Have it your way!"Charles cried out and the moment Erik heard his surrender, he released the chain. Gasping, Charles got up from the floor and walked towards Erik, glaring at him hotly. Erik glared right on back, but then his face relaxed and he spoke in a matter-of-fact tone of voice.

"You feel like having some chicken for lunch?"

They ate at the dining table, with Charles still glowering silently at Erik while Erik good-naturedly commented on the spices he put into the chicken. Erik served the chicken with some string beans and mash. Charles noted that Erik hid the knives and they are only using flimsy plastic utensils to eat their meal. Nothing in the kitchen seemed useful as a weapon, much to Charles' evident dismay.

"I haven't tried this Lemon-pepper spice before, but it sure works with chicken! I added some rosemary too. You can smell it, can't you? It smells good!"

Charles just remained quiet, his expression contemptuous as he wondered over his fate with this Norman Bates wannabe. When they finished eating, Erik offered to wash the dishes this time and then they went outside to smoke cigarettes. When they finished their smokes, Erik invited Charles to go for a walk out in the field. Charles gazed out at the field with its spray of yellow and white flowers; the birds chirping in the distant trees and all manner of insects humming and buzzing all about. Erik handed Charles a pair of slippers and he unlocked the chain from the pipe. He wrapped the chain around his own waist and then he attached the lock, just to make sure Charles wouldn't get away. They walked without speaking to each other. Erik certainly looked different. He's not wearing his office attire or his costly jogger outfits anymore. He's wearing a red plaid shirt and jeans, the stubble upon his cheeks casting a shadow over his face and his light brown hair appeared uncombed. He looked like a goddamned crazy mountain man in Charles' estimation. Charles felt nausea coming over him, but strangely, no withdrawal yet, confirming his suspicion that Erik had given him some H while he was asleep. What he's feeling right now were the symptoms of a comedown. He walked sluggishly, annoyed at the chain around his waist and he kept having to adjust it. It wasn't exactly tight, but he had no way of sliding it off or removing it, without undoing the large padlock that kept it in place. He suddenly broke the silence.

"You're getting off this aren't you? Having me chained up and walking me around like your sex slave-"

Erik just grinned at him. Charles acting like a defiant brat certainly looked funny to him. Charles seemed more like a willful kid wanting to get his way, standing there in an Avengers T-shirt (Hank's pick, not his) and wearing tight jogging pants, pouting out at him. Charles' ass did look nice in those gray jogging pants. His dark brown hair tumbling about as the wind blew it around and his blue eyes; they looked especially haughty, the intent to kill quite evident in them. Erik uttered a low laugh, just staring on and in a huff, Charles tugged at the chain so they could continue walking.

Despite hating Erik and wanting to kill him, Charles began to talk to him that night, asking him how he got to this place and how long he was out. Erik wisely decided not to tell Charles where 'here' was, in case he accidentally got hold of a phone and called for help from the outside world. This was their world now and he'd like to maintain their isolation for as long as he could help it. They currently sat in Charles' vinyl couch and Erik used some Neosporin on Charles' healing bruises and his fresh scrapes, which he got from getting dragged across the wooden floor earlier. Erik's concern for him mystified Charles and he wanted to get to the bottom of things.

"You've been out cold for two days. You weren't able to eat the first day, but I got you to eat and drink on the second day. I've been giving you some Heroin, to keep you from going into withdrawal too soon. I spoke to a doctor friend of mine and I read up on your condition. Usually it's ideal if we have professionals doing this, but I have some background in medical care and I think I can manage your treatment-"

"Erik, why are you doing this for me? I mean, you don't really have to! I'm a nobody! Why should you care if I die or not?"Charles cried out with feeling.

Erik stopped massaging the ointment on to Charles' wounds for a moment to hold Charles' stare."You keep saying you don't want any help, but you've been quietly asking me for help, without saying anything. You just needed someone committed enough to help you quit-"

"I didn't ask to quit! I don't even want to quit! You're forcing me to do something against my will! Can't you get it through your thick head? I don't want to quit! I don't care if I die! Who cares if I die anyway?"Charles shouted up at him.

Charles grew quiet when he saw the pain in Erik's gaze, the other genuinely concerned for him. He could see tears glimmering from Erik's eyes."I do, Charles. I care. I want you to quit because I don't want you to die. I can't bear it if....if I don't ever see you again-"

Stunned, Charles could only look up at him strangely. No one has ever spoken to him like that before. It left him feeling deeply touched and speechless. Could it be that Erik's doing this for him, because he loves him?

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to post on my other fic, but had internet issues and this was the only fic I got to finish. I'll be posting the other fic, but I'm still working on it. In the meantime, please accept my apology and enjoy this current fic at least T_T
> 
> Add Notes: A reader of mine was able to guess the movie that influenced this fic. It's called Black Snake Moan. Hopefully you see the similarity. I meant to follow some scenes from that movie in this fic for the dramatic effect :)

 

_Erik finally convinced Charles to give recovery a chance, but only because of what Erik said to him; that he couldn't bear it if he never saw Charles again if he died due to Heroin. It touched a nerve within Charles. No one has ever spoken to him like this before and no one ever cared for him the way Erik cared for him.  He didn't think feelings would get involved in the mix, especially since he only knew Erik on a physical level as his john. After all, Erik is still essentially a stranger to him yet he assumed that Erik was only doing this because he's falling for him; that there isn't any other ulterior motive. He didn't know that Erik was a sex addict and that Erik's looking for someone to help him recover from his own compulsions as well. He should have explained that part to Charles._

_Erik gave him fewer and fewer doses of Heroin as the days passed, causing the comedown to occur much more frequently and Charles hated it. He hated feeling like this all the time, like he's hung over, only it's worse than an actual hangover because there isn't any relief. Any medication Erik provided was just too mild for what he's feeling since his body craved for a stronger numbing agent. He'd be sick for days, with constant headaches, his knees so weak he could barely stand up and then Erik would hear him retching on to the toilet bowl, his new best friend in this fucked up situation. Erik made attempts to comfort him, but oddly enough, Erik kept his distance. Erik didn't hug him or even pat his back. He'd be at the door, talking Charles through what he's feeling and then that's that. Most days, Erik seemed distant and quiet, with Charles having no idea that Erik was going through his own withdrawal, even before Charles went through his own withdrawal._

_One time, Charles caught Erik crying outside, sitting on the porch steps and rocking to and fro, as if he was trying to soothe himself. Erik furiously wiped at his face before going back inside. Charles quickly move away from the door. He pretended that he didn't see Erik's state. It was very strange. Charles didn't know if Erik was in a state of agony for him or if there's another reason for it. What the hell was up with Erik?_

There's an aching in the pit of his stomach, a profound yearning to orgasm and his situation wasn't helped by his torturous thoughts of sex and wanting to fuck women or men. Hell, he'd probably even resort to bestiality. He resolved this by busying himself with the housework until he's too exhausted to fantasize about sex or he'd put his focus on Charles, attending to Charles' needs and talking him through his comedown. Despite wanting to fondle himself, Erik resisted it as much as he could. Bathing became an excruciating experience because of course, he had to wash himself down there and when he'd lather soap upon his genitals, he'd feel an erection come on. His solution was to immediately douse icy water upon his cock and to think of non-sexual things, until the need passed, but that ache...that relentless aching burned within him and he didn't think it would physically hurt him, but it did. He'd suffer from chills and sweating at night, his entire body aching and raw and then he'd vomit violently upon the sink in the master bedroom upstairs. He could only hope that Charles didn't hear him when he goes through his withdrawal. Most nights, he couldn't even sleep due to his nightmares. He no longer dreamed of crashing trains, but he had odd dreams about his cock, that it had somehow shriveled because of his self-imposed abstinence and he'd push the blankets away to ensure his cock still looked normal, only feeling foolish afterwards when he realized it was nothing but a ridiculous dream. Sometimes he felt so depressed that he couldn't even get out of bed. He'd force himself out of bed just for Charles. Caring for Charles somehow helped him cope with his condition.

He went though the book on sexual addiction again, which he kept in his bedroom, to gain a better understanding of what he's going through. Hank bought this particular book because it was a legitimate source of knowledge on Sexual addiction. It was also issued by a well-known institute, so that the information therein would surely contain scientific facts and not some new-age self-help garbage and Erik trusted Hank's sources. He had kept the book in his room to prevent Charles from seeing it and he re-read the chapter on his withdrawal symptoms. He only skimmed it the first time he read it. It shocked him to know that experts found scientific evidence that withdrawing from sexual addiction is actually worse than withdrawing from Heroin addiction. Surprisingly, the book states that it wasn't the sex act he's truly addicted on. It was the high he received when the neurochemicals within his brain's pleasure centers become constantly activated, his brain craving more and more until he's destroyed himself as a person, both mentally and physically. The explanation on why it's worse than drugs is that even if the source of his compulsion is no longer present, his mind could repeatedly access the source of his compulsion through recalled images and fantasies. In this case, it cannot be contained, unlike drug addiction. Furthermore, the urge only gets stronger _during_ withdrawal, making recovery nearly impossible for some and driving them into a state of despair. He didn't realize that before he even met Charles, he was already suffering from depression and an immense sense of shame. He knew what he was getting into, but he was too steeped in his compulsions to stop.

If it hadn't been for his guilt over what happened to Charles, he would have continued down this road to self-destruction until his life is unalterably ruined. That one night of impulsiveness directed him towards a course of action, even though he's regretting it now and he's suffering from it. After his initial withdrawal, he experienced an odd state of hyperactivity. He couldn't keep still. He busied himself by building a makeshift shower stall for his own use, so that he wouldn't have to intrude into Charles' space whenever he needed to wash himself. He was thankful that Hank had already built an outdoor commode for composting; perhaps it was one of Hank's pet projects when he took a short respite here at the country house. It had that DIY vibe to it. Hank's garden was another welcome distraction. The garden only needed minimum tending because most of Hank's plants are of the woody variety, however, Erik took it upon himself to remove vast amounts of weeds and to plant vegetables for his and Charles' consumption. At least it helped keep his mind off sexual thoughts. He frequently chopped wood, which he used for grilling food and heating up some water for his bath.

Charles wasn't aware that Erik kept two calendars in his room. One for Charles and one for himself. He ticked off the days to mark their progress and it feels like a small triumph to Erik, the longer they stayed in the country house without going off the deep end or throwing in the towel to go back to the city to succumb to their vices once more. He wrote everything in a journal as Hank had suggested, writing down what he'd accomplished for the day and writing down Charles' symptoms until the Heroin runs out. Hank had advised him that they should taper Charles off the Heroin slowly, so that the actual withdrawal wouldn't be as bad as expected. Nevertheless, it wasn't easy for Charles. He became constantly gloomy, prone to fits of rage and he seemed to relish his arguments with Erik, as if he was deliberately trying to set him off. Then, the day finally came when Erik gave Charles his last shot of Heroin after breakfast. Erik didn't tell Charles that it was the last batch. He now only had the Subutex and the Suboxone to help Charles through after the first wave of withdrawal. Charles wasn't too happy with the minute dose Erik gave him and he voiced out his displeasure.

"Can't you fucking up the dosage? Look, just give me the H and I'll shoot myself up with the right dose! You're killing me, you know that?"Charles cried out irritably, his nostrils flaring out at Erik.

Erik made a face after putting away the syringe, giving Charles an abrupt response."You'll live-"

Charles bitterly chuckled."Easy for you to say! You don't understand what I'm going through right now-"

 _You have no fucking idea, Charles_. Erik said to himself as he glared back at Charles impassively. He left Charles in the bathroom to stash the drug paraphernalia upstairs. When he got back down, he began to clean the house as his first ritual of the day, while Charles remained lying in the vinyl couch, quietly fuming at Erik for acting like such a cold-hearted asshole. When he grew tired of staring at the ceiling, Charles began to read the book Erik had given him to read to pass the time, but not long after, he grew bored with it. He began to watch Erik as he moved about the living room outside, mopping up the floor. Erik was only wearing a white A-shirt and tan pants right now and Charles had to admire Erik's muscular arms, the muscles flexing and rippling under the natural light as he moved about. Even though Erik was beginning to look skeevy due to the short ginger beard he's recently sporting, he still looked so damned attractive to Charles and despite feeling ill, he couldn't help but feel horny, just seeing Erik. He remembered the nights they made love in Erik's apartment, how the sex was so hot that it burned deep into his memory.

Erik suddenly noticed his dark appraisal and turned to look up at him questioningly."What's up?"

Charles gave Erik a lazy grin and then he spread his legs wide open, arching his back and giving Erik a sultry stare, notwithstanding the damned chain around his midsection. He had grown used to its clinking and clanging as he moved. He began to run his hands down his torso, pushing his gray shirt away to expose his pale skin, the chain even serving as a bondage ploy and then he slipped his other hand through the gap of his maroon jogging pants to play with himself seductively."I'm bored. Let's fuck!"

He couldn't understand Erik's reaction afterwards. He had expected Erik to jump his bones happily, because the other liked sex so much, but Erik surprisingly became pale instead, his eyes growing wide and agonized and then he turned away from Charles and bolted out the door.

"Hey! What the fuck!"Charles called out to him, confused and disappointed by his reaction.

Erik ran away as fast as he could, focusing on the distant hills and purging the raging sexual thoughts that ran through his mind when he saw Charles attempting to seduce him. He didn't think he'd feel this aroused; his cock strained with a massive hard on and it pressed painfully against his pants, suddenly aching to fuck Charles violently. He thought he wouldn't objectify Charles anymore due to his growing feelings for him, but perhaps because he'd been abstinent for weeks now, his body responded the way it did out of a desperate need to fuck and find relief in pleasure. He didn't want to resort to self-harm and so he ran back towards his wood chopping area, picked up his axe and he began cutting down a nearby tree with a thick circumference. It took him nearly thirty minutes to bring down that tree, but at least it helped draw his mind away from sex. He was a sweating and gasping mess afterwards, his arms and his hands aching, but it worked for him. Now, how the hell was he going to explain his behavior to Charles? He didn't want Charles to know about his addiction yet, knowing that Charles would just ridicule him for it.

Many people didn't take sexual addiction seriously because most people assume that it's just a convenient excuse to act promiscuously and that it served as a defense against infidelity and controversy, rejecting the notion that it's an actual disorder. To put it another way, sexual addiction is presently considered as a farcical condition, due to the association and influences imposed by modern culture, mainstream media, along with the social stigma that comes when claiming addiction to sex. Admittedly, Erik used to think the same way, but after reading on it and experiencing an actual withdrawal firsthand, he realized that it was a very real condition. He tried to think of some excuse as he walked back towards the house. When he lifted his head, Charles was already waiting at the front door, worriedly staring at him. He heard a crashing somewhere and he grew concerned, worried that Erik had hurt himself.

"What happened to you? Why'd you go?"

Erik just shrugged, sighing tiredly. He'd thought up of a weak excuse at the last minute."Charles, don't do that again. We're not here for that. Your recovery is our priority right now-"

Charles' eyes trembled with feeling, his expression becoming pained."What the fuck am I supposed to do? I'm cooped up in here, doing nothing but sicking up into the toilet all day, chained up and held against my will! You don't do anything with me! If you really want to help me, spend some fucking time with me! You just run around all over the place doing chores and you keep leaving me by myself!"

Erik gazed at Charles intently, seeing how wounded and hurt the other was, perhaps even thinking that Erik rejected him because he's not well yet. Mustering every ounce of self control he could manage, Erik reached for Charles and hugged him gently, thinking non-sexual thoughts. He thought of blue skies and white clouds instead to calm himself.

"I'm sorry. You're right. I've been too busy preparing the place for you, I didn't realize that I was neglecting you in the process."

Charles began to sob, pressing his face to Erik's chest and feeling relieved now that Erik showed him some affection. Erik led him back into the bathroom where they sat, side by side on the vinyl couch. Erik managed to keep his arm around Charles as the other drew comfort from him.

"I didn't think it would get boring for you here. That was thoughtless of me! If you want, you can help me with the chores and if you're ok with it, I can keep you company in here-"

Charles nodded, sniffling. He's agreeable to Erik's offer as long as it kept his mind off the comedown. He hoped that it might also keep him from craving for Heroin. Erik quietly asked him if he wanted to help cook their lunch and Charles followed Erik into the kitchen, mixing up the ingredients and cooking them after Erik chopped up the vegetables and the meat for their meal. Erik didn't want Charles to use the knives, even keeping them upstairs after washing them. Charles should have felt offended, but he understood that Erik didn't want him doing anything impulsive. They ate in companionable silence. After eating, Charles assisted Erik with the chores and then they went outside to smoke. Afterwards, Erik took Charles for a walk in a nearby field. However, Erik still kept him chained.

"Erik won't you tell me where we are?"Charles asked as they kept on walking.

Erik just gave him a lopsided smile, walking next to him.

"Come on! Tell me!"

"We're in some place safe. That's all you need to know-"

"Is this like a private property or something? Does this place belong to your family?"

Erik relented and gave Charles an answer."No this place doesn't belong to me. It belongs to a friend. He said we can use this place for a year or until we can get you cleaned up-"

"What about your job?"

"I took a year off-"

Charles' eyes widened."They let you take a year off? What company does that?"

Erik chuckled."Only this company. They need my skills and I've been in Scott's company for a long time. We go way back-"

"Unbelievable! This boss of yours must be crazy!"Charles said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I know, right?"

"What's he like? Is he for real?"

"Hmm, how do I best describe him? It's like Scott stepped out of a fucking toothpaste commercial, only he's selling extra cheese on the side. I do get some fringe benefits from his loony tunes exuberance, but I just can't stand him. He's such a pretentious fuck-"

Charles began to laugh at that and Erik had to smile. Seeing Charles' laughter made him happy for some reason. Charles had a smile that could make everyone else smile with him and one of the brief joys Erik felt since he came to this place was to gaze into Charles' lucid blue eyes and to see his endearing face. They continued to walk, but then Charles suddenly said something that brought Erik down from that happy moment.

"Do your parents know you're here, Erik?"

"No, they don't know-"The coldness in Erik's voice silenced Charles for a moment and then he sighed.

"That's one thing we have in common. We both hate our families-"

 Erik slowed down his pace to regard Charles and then Charles gave him a bitter grin.

"I guess it’s only fair that I tell you about myself, since you've shared things about yourself before."

"I thought you loved your dad. When you ran out into the field while you were sick with fever, you kept calling out to him-"

Charles stopped walking to kick at a crop of weeds, his arching eyebrows drawing down angrily."When I was seven, he left me all alone in our farm. I had to take shelter in our barn and I was so scared that I didn't even get a moment of sleep the night he left me. When he came back the next day and I ran to him, crying with relief, he told me I'm a coward, that I should man up. He didn't really mistreat me, but he made me feel...insignificant. Him and my mom, they both looked down on me, like I'm such a disappointment to them and every day I was with them, they kept reminding me of it-"

Erik didn't know what else to say."I'm sorry you had to go through that, Charles-"

Charles' chest heaved and then he looked up at Erik with haunted eyes."Yeah, that's all I am. A sorry sack of shit. I thought I'd earned my freedom when I went to college, but I ended up with the bad crowd and then they introduced me to drugs. It wasn't really their fault in the first place. I wanted to rebel. I wanted to try new things and look where I ended up. When I turned into a full-blown junkie, they abandoned me and I ended up losing everything, even selling myself for drugs-"

Charles began to rub at his temples, as if he was getting a headache while Erik remained quiet, letting Charles do the talking. Charles needed to get things off his chest and this might help with his recovery.

"I meant to ask you, Erik. Why do you even care about me? What do you see in me? I don't have anything worth redeeming. I'm just a fucking mess-"

Charles' eyes were moist as he held Erik's gaze, wanting to understand why Erik would even bother with someone like him. Erik released a trembling breath and drew closer to Charles, touching the back of his neck and affectionately holding him close.

"Because you're a kind person and you make me feel good about myself. When we argued back in my apartment, I felt so terrible, sending you away like that. At that time, I didn't want you to find out what I felt for you-"

"How do you feel about me now, Erik?"Charles whispered; his eyes glimmered up at Erik as the other tried to avert his eyes.

"I love you, Charles-"Erik said softly and then Charles began to cry, just hearing those sweet words from Erik. He reached out for Erik, hugging him and holding him close. He attempted to kiss Erik, but Erik quickly turned his head away, remarking that the chain got caught on a piece of twig and he bent down to remove the knotted chain. Charles didn't want to put too much meaning in Erik's actions at that moment, even though it confused him. Erik led him back to the house and they had a quiet time of reading books and then while eating dinner, they watched The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. The film was a welcome distraction to them. Charles wasn't feeling too well owing to his craving for Heroin. He knew Erik had to restrict the dosage of his shots and he knew even if he requested for a shot that night, Erik would only turn him down. Erik gave him some H every morning and he looked forward to it, not knowing that his final shoot up occurred this morning. Erik didn't want to break this tender moment between them so he still didn't say anything.

 

The next day, Charles went ballistic after finding out that he'll no longer be receiving Heroin and that they will be initiating the withdrawal process. Erik tried to reason with him but he responded by going on a rampage, trashing his 'recovery' room by kicking and overturning his furniture, tearing up the books Erik laid out for him and screaming obscenities. Charles walked restlessly about, his chain clanging along the tile floor as he ran his hands frustratedly over his sickly white face; snagging his fingers through his hair, sobbing and looking so despondent that it was enough to break Erik's heart, seeing him in this state. Charles could endure a comedown, but not withdrawal itself. There's a distinction between the two. He experienced a brief withdrawal before and it was the most harrowing and the most painful condition he ever felt in his life. To him, it was worse than getting raped because he's fucked, round the clock, inside the roller coaster hell of withdrawal, until he goes crazy with it.

"You fucker! You should have told me! You should have told me that the fucking H ran out!"Charles shouted at him as Erik stood at the doorway, helpless against Charles' rage. Charles continued to cuss him out and then Erik, still suffering from the throes of his own withdrawal suddenly snapped out at Charles in response.

"What difference does it make whether if I told you or not? You'll eventually go through withdrawal, right? Isn't that what we're here for?"

Erik's words silenced Charles, his chest heaving as if it was getting hard to breathe. His behavior wasn't lost on Erik. He attempted to explain things to Charles again.

"I have some alternative meds for you, but we can't use those drugs yet until you're really under withdrawal. Otherwise, you'll just end up feeling much worse if you take it too soon. Hank said you might even die!"

Charles' eyes widened indignantly at Erik, his hands balling into fists. Oh, this was such rich horseshit! Erik had some drugs after all and he's keeping them from him and making him suffer like this."I don't care! Give me the fucking dope!"

Erik shook his head weakly."No, I won't help you kill yourself over this. We have to make sure you're under full withdrawal first before you take the subs. Hank told me it’s actually better if we wait even longer. The longer we wait, the better your chances will be to recover-"

Charles' body began to tremble uncontrollably. He wrapped his arms around himself and then he spoke in a wavering voice, tears spilling down his pale cheeks."I'll be dead before I could even recover. Why are you doing this to me? Why are you making me suffer? Do you even really love me?"

Erik knew Charles was behaving like this to put him through some guilt-trip, but he wasn't going to take any of it. He had to harden himself against Charles. He impassively regarded Charles from the doorway and seeing that Erik wasn't going to budge, Charles turned away from him and sat down upon the floor in a huff, his chains jangling noisily as he did so.

"Charles-"Erik began, but Charles cut him off, screaming.

"Get the fuck out! Get out!"

Sighing in a resigned manner, Erik left him alone to finish the daily chores. They've just finished with their breakfast and Erik washed the dishes alone this time. They didn't speak to each other for a long while. When lunch time came around, Erik called out to Charles, telling him it was time to eat. Erik peered in at the doorway of the bathroom and to his shock, Charles had taken off his clothes, his body balled up on the floor and he is sweating profusely.

"Charles!"Erik cried out in alarm, rushing to Charles' side and holding the other in his arms. His skin felt hot to the touch, looking flushed and beet red, as if he'd been under the sun for too long.

"What's wrong?"Erik asked in a panicked voice.

Charles glared up at him angrily and pushed him roughly away."I'm burning up, you asshole! It's hot!"

Erik glanced at bathroom heater, but it wasn't even turned on. He immediately understood what was happening. Charles' withdrawal was starting to happen. His rising body temperature must have caused a wave of dizziness to overcome him that he couldn't get to the bathtub in time. He collapsed to the floor, with his limbs trembling and his body growing so weak that he couldn't get up. Erik suddenly grew conscious of Charles' nakedness when his hand slid upon Charles' sweat-dappled hip. Pushing any sexual thoughts aside, He took a key ring from his pocket and then he removed Charles' chain. He helped Charles up and led him towards the bathtub, turning on the faucet and running him a cold bath.

"Just sit tight. I'll get you some ice-"

Erik quickly ran outside, heading towards Hank's chest freezer located in one corner of the porch and brought in two large bags of ice. While the water from the faucet gushed down upon Charles' ankles, Erik began pouring the contents of the plastic bags containing ice cubes over Charles' body. Charles yelled out, shocked by the sudden blast of iciness, but Erik held him in place.

"Stay down! You need to cool off-"

"You bastard! You did this to me!"Charles moaned, shivering now; he gritted his teeth as he glared up at Erik with teary eyes. It stung Erik of course, to hear Charles blaming him, but he patiently endured Charles' anger. When Charles' temperature began to subside, Erik helped him out of the tub and retrieved a towel for him and a fresh set of clothing. Erik began to clean up Charles' disorderly room and he righted the couch and the furniture. He gathered the torn paper and Charles' sweat-soaked clothing as well. He stepped outside to dispose of the litter and then he mopped the floor clean. Charles stood by the tub, rubbing his hair through with the towel and then Erik went to him to re-attach the chain. Charles wistfully stared at the doorway, however, he knew he couldn't outrun Erik, not in his condition. Charles sluggishly walked towards the couch and sat down while Erik sat next to him.

"Do you need anything else, Charles?"

Charles chuckled sarcastically."Yeah, I need a fucking score right up my veins until my eyes are rolling to the whites."

Erik chose to ignore Charles' sarcasm."I'll bring our lunch here, to keep you company-"

Charles threw his head back and sagged against the couch, yawning."Do what you want-"

Erik had to force Charles to eat and to drink lots of water, even though Charles barely had any appetite. Satisfied that Charles at least tried to eat, Erik left him to catch up on his missed routine of chores, his own mode of therapy, but he looked in on Charles from time to time. Each time he checked on Charles, the other was fast asleep, as if he'd rather sleep than do anything else. Erik knew that these were the initial symptoms of Charles' drug withdrawal. He had to let it run its course. That night, Charles was wide awake and he restlessly walked around in the bathroom, dragging his chain along as he walked. He seemed to exhibit flu-like symptoms due to his runny nose and his watery eyes, but Erik knew it wasn't the flu. Charles' eyes darted about the room wildly while he walked, as if he's agitated over something. He was sweating again. He struggled to control his growing terror over his impending withdrawal symptoms and then he would stop walking to cry quietly upon the couch. He'd get up and walk aimlessly once more, his expression desperate and then the process would repeat itself. All the while, Erik watched him, remaining silent, yet suffering on the inside because of what he's putting Charles through. There's just no easy way to do it. This was the only way he could save Charles. They are both in for one hell of a night and Erik actually anticipated it. He slept on the rattan couch he brought in from out in the porch, pushing it into the living room so he'll be closer in case Charles needed him.

As soon as they went to sleep in their beds that night, Charles' withdrawal came and attacked with its full force. Charles' entire body began to ache, the pain going deep into his bones and he began to thrash and kick about as he rolled off the couch. He remained lying on the tiled floor, screaming for Erik and begging him for some drugs to end the pain. Charles' clothes were already soaked through with sweat and it trickled down his neck in rivulets, his brow glistening with the same wet sheen. Tears flowed down his face as he stared up at Erik, his expression haunted and full of grief.

"Erik please! Help me! Please! I can't take it anymore! Please make it stop! Make it stop!"Charles sobbed despairingly, clutching at his arms and shivering uncontrollably, the chain rattling and clinking as his body shook with his ague. To Erik, it was excruciating to watch Charles going through this, but he couldn't give Charles what he was asking for. He could only watch over Charles and comfort him with his presence. It pained him that he wasn't even allowed to give Charles any pain medication, since Hank instructed him to do this to prevent any counteraction once they begin using Subutex or Suboxone. When he saw that Erik wouldn't reciprocate, Charles rolled lethargically upon the floor and turned away from him, sobbing to himself and cursing.

Shoulders sagging in defeat, Erik returned to the rattan couch and slept fitfully. The sound of Charles' moans and sobs lingered over him all through the night and for this reason, he woke up quite late the next day. He blinked repeatedly, his expression one of curious wonder. For a minute there, he wasn't sure where he was and then he remembered about Charles. He hurriedly shot out of bed to check on the other, frantic and concerned for his safety. He relaxed when he saw Charles still sound asleep, his face pinched and pale as it peeked from the thick coverlet wrapped around his body, his chain extending from beneath the blanket and pooling messily upon the tiles. Thankful that Charles finally got some rest, Erik went into the kitchen to prepare them a late breakfast. As he worked, he listened for the sound of Charles' waking. Eventually, he heard the noisy clattering of the chain from inside the bathroom and he decided to bring Charles' breakfast in for him. He was at the door about ready to greet Charles when he started in shock. The plate nearly fell from his shaking hands. Charles had taken his clothes off again and was lying upon the couch, beating himself off, biting down on his lower lip and moaning softly. Charles' head lolled in arousal upon his thick pillow, propped up against the arm of the couch.

Charles opened his eyes slowly and then he smiled lazily upon seeing Erik's ashen face and shocked expression. His hand tugged away, harder and faster upon his cock and Erik, gasping like an offended and cornered nun suddenly lurched out of the room and braced himself against the wall outside, his chest heaving as he struggled for control. He staggered towards the dining table, eyes shutting tight and refusing to focus on the delicious image of Charles masturbating. He tried to think of the most inane things, like kittens playing and flowers in the wind and then Charles began to moan louder, his moans deliberately made to sound like a porn star's.

"Goddamnit, Charles!"Erik muttered and then he dashed out of the house and grabbed his axe once more. He ran deep into the woods to find the gnarliest looking tree he could find and he began to chop away, focusing on the demolishing the tree in the most effective way possible, attacking the tree with a violent fury that would have astonished Charles. It took a while due to the tree's thickness, but he managed to fell the tree after an hour and a half. He walked slowly back towards the country house, covered in sap and sawdust, the sawdust sticking to his sweaty skin. His stomach gurgled in protest because he hadn't eaten anything, but it relieved him to hear nothing but silence from Charles' room. He dared to peek in, hoping Charles was decent, but he cursed under his breath when he saw Charles lying upon the couch, still naked, his hand clutching loosely at his pinkish cock and his lashes trembling as he slept on. His pale and rosy body looked so inviting to Erik, and for a moment, he recalled the enticing softness of Charles' skin when he caressed him before, back when they fucked in his apartment. Wincing, Erik quickly moved away from the door and walked about the living room restlessly. He decided to take a cold bath. He hated cold baths and he knew it would divert his attention from his lewd thoughts. He washed his privates in icy water first, causing his balls to shrivel, but it did the job. He didn't think about sex at all. He had to prepare himself against Charles' nakedness and think of Charles in a non-sexual context. He thought of focusing on something he liked about Charles. His blue eyes, for one thing. Even though Charles had given him heated stares before, he recalled that he admired the tenderness in Charles' gaze and he concentrated on that instead.

Because of this idea, he found the courage to get back into the house and not think of anything sexual about him, regardless if Charles walked around naked. Charles had stepped out of the bathroom to gloat over Erik's refusal to get intimate, however, it startled him to find Erik working in the kitchen, cleaning away as the other ignored his presence. He still assumed that Erik didn't want to have sex with him because it was part of the recovery process, unaware that Erik struggled to abstain for fear that his own addiction would take possession of him once more. Charles suddenly thought up of something devious. Erik always liked his ass. He leaned against the doorway of the bathroom, sticking his ass out at Erik, pretending to peer at something outside, but Erik kept on ignoring him. Charles pouted at Erik's lack of interest in him. He went towards the coffee table and proceeded to bend over it, pretending to look through the books, waggling his ass provocatively. He surreptitiously looked over his shoulder. Still no response from Erik. Charles was about to think of something else indecent he could do, but his cursed stomach began to rumble violently. Charles touched his belly, his expression perplexed then he felt it, the first bout of diarrhea. He hurried back into the bathroom, barely able to sit upon the toilet and then his asshole expunged the noisiest blast of excrement upon his porcelain throne. Embarrassed but unable to do anything about it anymore, Charles grunted and groaned as he clutched at his aching belly, his explosive diarrhea going on for an extended period.

"Could you close the door please, Charles?"Erik called out from outside. Charles seethed when he heard the cheery amusement in Erik's voice. Fucking bugger thinks this is funny when this wasn't funny at all.

"Fuck you!"Charles cried out in a tight voice, wincing as more shit gurgled noisily from him, his face reddening as he expelled one long gassy fart, followed by a watery splash of liquefied shit. This went on for a while and when his bowels couldn't expel anymore, he flushed the toilet and used the bidet to wash his sore ass. His knees wobbled as he walked back towards his couch, the smell of his shit quickly dispersing due to a built-in exhaust system clearing the air. Trembling and exhausted, Charles fell asleep and when he woke up, Erik was back in his room, asking him quietly if he wanted to take any medication for his upset stomach. Hank had advised Erik that he could give Charles some herbal and OTC meds to counter nausea, allergic reactions and diarrhea, but that was all. He wasn't supposed to give Charles any strong pain medication.

"Yeah, thanks-"Charles said in a subdued voice, embarrassed that Erik had to hear him taking a shit. Erik handed him an Imodium tablet and he washed it down with some water and then he laid his head back upon his pillow, weak and nauseated from his ordeal. Erik offered to feed him some soup and some crackers and Charles accepted Erik's assistance. He had to take some sustenance, otherwise, he wouldn't have enough strength to fight through the severe muscle aches that comes with the withdrawal. Erik also gave him some Gatorade and more water and when he'd had enough, Charles went back to sleep again. Later, he woke up, shivering, gripped by the sudden chills and Erik immediately entered the room to run his hand upon Charles' back, trying to soothe him. He helped Charles put some clothes on and wrapped a blanket around him, removing the chain this time. Erik spoke in a soothing voice, telling him he's sorry and that it will get better eventually. Charles leaned against Erik and sobbed, the aches and pains coming back, the nausea making him so dizzy he could barely hold his head up.

"Let's go out. Let's take a walk. The fresh air might do you some good-"Erik encouraged him.

Meekly obedient, Charles followed Erik outside, with Erik's arm wrapped around him and then they meandered down the field slowly. Charles didn't have the heart to admire the natural beauty around him, but he did feel better as he walked, the soft breeze gently ruffling his air about. When Erik thought it was enough, they headed back into the house and Erik patiently tended to him as he went through another hellish day of chills, body aches and vomiting, along with the humiliating bouts of diarrhea. Erik prepared warm baths for him and had brought in the TV so they could watch the second Lord of the Rings movie to pass the time. Charles came to appreciate Erik's attentiveness and he whispered a thank you into Erik's ear as they sat next to each other. Erik smiled at him and gently ran his fingers through Charles' hair, staring intently into his eyes. Erik focused on Charles' face, ignoring the warm sensation that Charles' nearness brought him. He had to dissociate the warmth from sex, focusing on giving comfort and not sexualizing Charles in his mind. Charles had no idea how hard Erik concentrated on not thinking about sex. It was the hardest thing Erik had to do.

Erik stared at their calendars in his room. He had marked their progress using colored pens and it pleased him to see the results. For him, three weeks had passed since he had abstained from sex and it was a small, yet satisfying victory. In contrast, Charles' actual withdrawal from Heroin only started two days ago and he knew that the third day was the most critical day. He had marked Charles' previous Heroin intake with an orange marker, indicating these as the days of his controlled dosage while he marked the days of Charles' withdrawal period in red. He washed his face and got ready for another day of tending to Charles and accomplishing his chores. In a few days, Hank will be coming in for a visit and he wanted to show Hank that his method was working. He came downstairs, in positive spirits, feeling good about himself, but then, that all came crashing down when Charles started in on his tantrums. Charles ranted and raved for some drugs, telling Erik that he could feel himself going crazy unless Erik gave him something for the pain. Erik had chained him up again to keep him from escaping. Erik maintained his resolve and refused to give in to Charles' whims. Up to the present time, Erik thought they were making some progress, but seeing Charles like this made him question if they'll ever succeed. He didn't realize it would be this exhausting; dealing with Charles and in the same way, dealing with his own problems.

Charles' wounded eyes begged him as he sobbed while talking."Erik, it's been forty-eight hours. You can give me some of the subs now! My friend told me before that subs and bupes could be safely administered to recovering addicts even after twenty-four hours. I've held on for as long as I could. Please! Please I need some-"

Erik shook his head slowly and Charles attacked him in a rage, hitting Erik upon the chest, albeit his punches and hits causing no real pain. He was that weak.

"You asshole! You motherfucker!"Charles yelled into his face and Erik wasn't going to take any of his shit any longer. Erik marched out of the bathroom and left him there as he went outside to do some angry gardening, pulling at the weeds violently and then he chopped some fire wood. By now, he had a mountain of chopped wood enough to last them for many winters to come. When he had calmed down afterwards, he headed back to prepare their breakfast. Curiously, Charles had stopped shouting and sobbing, causing Erik to grow concerned. He went to peer in on Charles, and he drew in a sharp breath. Charles had taken his clothes off again, his pale skin glowing in the sunlight pouring in through the window. He just stood there, staring at the view outside his window. Charles looked over at him sullenly and gave him the finger. Sighing, Erik continued to work in the kitchen. Moments later, Charles emerged from the bathroom and headed for the fridge. Erik looked over at him curiously and Charles gave him a curt response.

"I need water-"

"Ok-"Erik said and went to get Charles a plastic tumbler to pour the water into. He turned his back on Charles for a moment and then he heard the crash. Charles had demolished the glass pitcher of water, bringing up the jagged handle with the intent to stab his own throat. Eyes widening in alarm, Erik quickly flung himself at Charles to prevent him from stabbing his jugular vein. They struggled, with Erik eventually overpowering Charles and wrenching the broken glass from his hand. Charles had broken the pitcher against the fridge, the water spreading a large puddle upon the floor. Erik wanted to keep Charles away from the glass shards and so he forced him towards the dining table, holding him down, despite Charles' screams and ineffectual thrashing.

"Stop it, Charles! Just stop it!"

"You bastard! You sadistic fuck! I hate you!"Charles shrieked into Erik's face as he sobbed, violently rocking about to fend Erik off.

Then, something unexpected happened. Charles' furious expression softened, decaying into something lustful and then his head snapped back as he orgasmed; just with Erik's clothed lower body pressed right against his own, he came. The sensation of having Erik rub up against him caused his nerve endings to come alive and the resulting sudden orgasm reduced him to a puddle of lust. His head lolled about ecstatically and Erik, unable to pull back in time watched Charles moan provocatively, the other biting upon his own lower lip, blissfully writhing against him, eyes shut tight as he savored the delicious climax. Charles' come gushed from his cock, trickling down hotly and spreading his pearly-white come upon the skin of his belly. To Erik's horror, he felt an instant boner come on, just seeing Charles like this. He tried to pull away, but it was too late. Charles grabbed his collar and pulled him into a frantic kiss, with Charles hungrily lapping up his mouth, tongue sliding in and playfully darting and teasing Erik's burning lips. Now, it was Erik's turn to struggle away from him, but Charles had wrapped his legs around Erik's waist, holding tight as he kissed Erik passionately, wrapping his arms around Erik's neck.

Erik's will was weakening. He couldn't fight his uncontrollable lust any longer, he allowed Charles to kiss him, his struggles growing weak the longer they kissed. Charles was the one who broke the kissing, amused to see Erik's agonized expression, the other gasping and trembling with effort. Maybe if he pushed Erik's buttons the right way, he could get Erik to give in and hand over the subs. Using his foot, he stroked at Erik's backside, forcing the other to press up against his still sensitive penis, causing Erik to gasp. He licked his lips seductively as he arched his back, showing Erik his pink and taut nipples, running his hands over Erik's chest and caressing Erik's nipples through his clothes.

"Fuck me-"Charles moaned indecently, holding Erik's gaze with his darkly aroused stare and Erik finally lost it. His eyes immediately found the tub of butter, the one he took out from the fridge earlier to make scrambled eggs. It had already grown soft under the room's temperature. With trembling fingers, Erik scooped up some butter, slathering it upon his own cock and then he rammed it into Charles' hole, causing Charles to cry out both in arousal and pain as Erik entered him. Denied for so long, Erik attacked Charles with relentless fury, fucking him frantically, his hips bucking wildly and causing the table to judder in protest, as if it was about to fall apart under the violence of his thrusting. Charles looked up at him in amazement. It was just so good!

Charles' head turned helplessly about as Erik kissed him roughly and pounded into him, over and over. Charles kept on coming as Erik fucked him and he uttered wavering howls of ecstasy as it went on. He couldn't seem stop coming. Erik would pound into him in quick succession, only to have his cock squeeze off spurts of come, as if the slightest stimulation caused him to orgasm instantaneously. It almost feels like a lovely multiple orgasm, only it stuttered due to his cock stopping to release and then he'd get aroused once more. It was undeniably good, making him momentarily lose his mind and forget about shooting up. Sluggishly, he reached for Erik's plaid shirt, trying to unbutton it. Growling, Erik tore it off his own body and attacked Charles with renewed vigor, his hips continuously bucking forward. Charles thought he's like a fucking terminator; Erik just can't seem to stop. However, Erik did stop when he came, after Charles had orgasmed beneath him multiple times. The table had grown wet with their sweat and their come, a buttery smell rising between them along with the smoky smell of sex. Erik pulled back and watched his come dribbling from Charles' hole, spreading upon the table. He licked his lips in pleasure, enjoying the sight of Charles' sexual devastation, both of them gasping breathlessly as they stopped to catch their breath. Erik immediately recovered, just looking at Charles' enticing face and when he did, he grabbed the back of Charles' neck and drew him close in a savage kiss. Gasping into the kisses, Charles tried to fight him off, but Erik was unstoppable. He only broke the kiss to lick and suck at Charles' throat indecently, his eyes heavy-lidded and looking drugged. Fuck abstinence. He didn't care anymore. He only wanted to keep on fucking Charles. He turned Charles' body around to fuck him from the back, clutching Charles' ass cheeks and spreading them open to receive his throbbing cock. He removed Charles' chain and carried Charles in his arms, entrapping him in another fervid kiss as he went upstairs. He took Charles into the second bedroom, locking it and then he laid Charles' body upon the bed. Charles clung to him and allowed Erik to take possession of his body.

They grew lost in their lust, that any thought of chores or routines disappeared from Erik's mind. He just wanted to fuck. They fucked for an entire day and Charles didn't think his body would be able to take it, but he did. He was still weak, but too aroused to stop. Like Erik, he just wanted to keep on fucking Erik until he loses his mind. He'd never had sex this good with anyone but Erik. He craved for it as badly as he craved for drugs. Erik took him in different positions, with Erik having him go on all fours on the bed. Then Erik had him sitting upon his lap, riding his cock. Erik ravaged his ass so thoroughly that he felt raw, but he couldn't get enough of Erik. He wanted more. Erik fucked him against the wall, just so they could change it up and then Erik fucked him against the window, on the floor then back on the bed, all the while they screamed in pleasure, their isolation allowing them to scream the most obscene things out loud. They assumed a spooning position, but they mostly did missionary and then they went back to Charles riding him as Erik remained lying in bed, avidly watching Charles' hips undulating and rocking forward slowly. They moved about drunkenly, even though they were too tired to fuck, they kept at it until they fell asleep. They slept only for a few hours and then Charles gasped, snapping awake when he felt Erik fucking him again while he was asleep, with Erik holding his cock and giving him a hand job. Erik grabbed his hips and forced him to sit upon his lap, bucking up deeply into Charles' tight and wet hole. Charles ran his fingers through Erik's hair, kissing his cheeks and his throat, licking and biting at his lips seductively, his eyes heavy with desire. He began to nibble at Erik's ears.

"Erik, please. I want it. Give me some-"Charles begged him again in a throaty voice and Erik knew Charles meant the subs. Despite Charles' sexual hold on him, Erik maintained his resolve not to give Charles any drugs. He rolled Charles back on to the bed, canting his hips forward, holding Charles down with his muscular arms as he fucked him, slowly and deeply this time. Charles didn't push his luck any further. He settled for fucking, because it gave him a sexual high and he thought it will do for now. They couldn't seem to stop kissing and fucking until Erik was finally sated. Only much later did Erik regret what had happened. He sobbed quietly as he watched Charles sleep, despairing over his failure.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry for the delay in posting, but here's the follow-up to my fic. Hope this chapter makes up for the angsty chapter we had from before ;) I've been very busy as usual :\

 

Erik had to call Hank. He needed someone to talk to about what happened. His despair ate away at him and he was beginning to think that everything was just too damned hopeless; that there's no hope for him and Charles to ever recover at all. It frustrated him so much that he couldn't seem to stop crying. Charles was still asleep in the other room, too exhausted from their furious lovemaking that he didn't even stir when Erik left him alone in bed. Erik locked the door from the outside of that room and then he headed for the master bedroom. He opened a locked cabinet to take out the telephone to contact Hank. After several rings, Hank answered his call.

"Hank,"Erik said in a strained voice and Hank immediately knew what happened.

Hank sighed wearily on the other end of the line."I was going to visit you tomorrow. You did it with him, didn't you?"

Erik kept running his hand over his burning eyes, exhausted from crying and feeling drained after having sex with Charles. He leaned against the cabinet, tightly holding the phone next to his ear. He didn't answer Hank for a while. He just sniffled and cried into the phone, the tears trailing down upon his cheeks in his utter despondency. Hank patiently waited for him to respond until he recovered. Eventually, Erik responded to Hank's query.

"Yeah-"He rasped into the phone.

"How did it happen?"

"He...He wasn't wearing anything. He went into the kitchen while I was cooking. He tried to kill himself-"

"Wait, how was he able to go into the kitchen? Didn't you lock him up in the second bedroom?"

"I didn't. I used your bathroom as his withdrawal room, you know, so he could easily go around and use the toilet any time he wanted to. I chained him to a pipe in the bathroom-"

"You did what?"Hank said, incredulous.

"I didn't want to lock him up. At least the chain allowed him to stretch his legs and move around the house-"

Hank drew in a sharp breath, wanting to chew Erik out for doing something so stupid, but then he pulled back and spoke wearily instead."Did Charles hurt himself? Did he succeed?"

"No. I stopped him and that was when...that was when I accidentally rubbed up against him while I was holding him down. He suddenly came, just with the slightest touch of our lower bodies. Is that normal in his condition?"

"Yes it is. You'll actually see more of that. I should have warned you. It's his senses; they're coming alive due to his withdrawal-"

"Shit!"Erik muttered. He did read something about it in one of the books Hank bought for him, but the book only mentioned it to be one of the many symptoms exhibited by someone in withdrawal and that not every recovering addict had it. He didn't anticipate that Charles would act this way. Despite wanting to rage over this knowledge, he realized it wasn't Hank's fault. In the first place, it was his rash decision to isolate himself and Charles, only realizing the consequences of that decision now. For fear that remaining isolated would do more harm than good, Erik asked for Hank's approval on his next decision.

"Should we just quit then? Should we just go back? I could take Charles to a Methadone Clinic and I could check myself in for sex addiction at a Sex Institute-"

Hank didn't say anything for a long time that Erik almost thought that Hank had hung up on him. When Hank spoke next, his voice sounded contemplative.

"Let me just ask you this, Erik. When you and Charles had intercourse, what was going through your mind?"

Erik nearly guffawed bitterly at the ironic question. His tone took on an edge of sarcastic exasperation."Are you kidding me right now? You're asking me _that_ question?"

 Hank didn't sound ruffled."Yes. What exactly were you thinking of?"

Erik decided to humor Hank."Sex."

"What else? Were you thinking of someone else other than Charles?"

Erik initially wasn't sure where this line of questioning was leading to, but realization quickly dawned upon him. He sounded startled when he spoke next."No. Nothing else. All I wanted...was him."

"Then count yourself lucky! You're making progress, Erik. You're not associating sex with a stranger; you're associating it with someone you deeply care about. Genuine intimacy is what your recovery is all about. You might have had a slip up, but like the book said, it was bound to happen. It's rare for a sex addict to recover right away. That's not how it works."

Erik remained quiet, stunned by this revelation. His voice sounded small when he spoke again."The book said I should go through a period of celibacy to-"

Hank cut him off straightaway."The book did state that maintaining celibacy could help, but it doesn't mean that you can't get intimate with someone you love. You're not a fucking monk, Erik. Moderation is basically the key here. As long as you don't overdo it, it's okay to have sex with Charles. It's normal. It's wired in our DNA. The need to procreate is innate in our species and it's not a bad thing. However, when a person abuses the chemical processes involved and uses it repeatedly to escape from true intimacy, that's when we could deem it abnormal."

Erik suddenly laughed dryly."I can't procreate with Charles, Hank. In case you didn't notice, Charles is a guy!"

Hank responded blandly at his mockery."Be that as it may, you chose him as your partner. You told me you care about him, didn't you? So given that knowledge, it's still possible for you to get intimate with him because of that-"

Now it was Erik's turn to respond with a lengthy silence. Only their breathing resounded on the line. Hank's words certainly made their mark. It left him speechless. Hank had to prompt him and Erik finally shook himself and responded.

"Could you honestly say that as soon as we go back into civilization, we'd be able to control our urges, Hank? What if all that we're doing here is pointless?"

Hank sounded irritable at this point."People have recovered from these things, Erik. It's always possible to break free from your addictions. You just have to be willing to take control of your lives and not have your compulsions take hold of it for you. Look, even if you think everything I'm telling you is bullshit, wouldn't you rather try it anyway as long as you at least tried something? What if it did work for you both?"

Erik nodded on the other end of the line. Hank did pose some good points."Alright. We'll stay here, but you gotta talk to him, Hank. I don't really know what I'm doing anymore-"

"You're doing fine, Erik. You'll get through this eventually-"

"Thanks for the pep talk. Just get your ass over here, okay?"

"Okay, I'll be there tomorrow. Probably around noon-"

They said their farewells and then Erik locked the phone away again. He went downstairs to take a bath, his entire body aching and raw because of the rough sex he had with Charles. He wondered how Charles was feeling at the moment. He must be feeling sore from all the fucking they did. He mused on this as he bathed, wondering how he could help relieve the other. The bath somehow refreshed him and he prepared for the worst before facing Charles. When he unlocked the door, Charles was already wide awake, but instead of sweetly greeting him, he remained in bed, glowering angrily at Erik.

"Why didn't you tell me that you're a sex addict?"Charles spat out, his voice dripping with his pent up rage. Erik felt a leaden sensation form in the pit of his stomach; his expression becoming agonized. Charles heard his conversation with Hank after all. Charles couldn't contain his anger any longer. He shot out of bed and flung himself at Erik, pounding his fists at Erik's chest and shouting in his face.

"I was just a fucking security blanket to you, wasn't I? You fucking hypocrite! You get to fuck me whenever you want, but you're letting me suffer on my own!"

Erik couldn't stop his face from crumpling up, the tears starting from his eyes again."Charles, that's not true-"

"Liar!"Charles yelled, striving to punch his face, but failing. He was still too weak. Erik knew it was no use arguing with Charles. He suddenly grabbed Charles and flung the other over his shoulder. Charles struggled and screamed in his clutches.

"Put me down! Put me down, you fucker!"

It was already late at night and Erik didn't know what else he could say to get through to Charles. They still had to wait for Hank's arrival. He took Charles downstairs to chain him up and then he dragged Charles into the bathroom and forced Charles to sit down on the vinyl couch. As he attempted to calm Charles down, Charles spat at him. Erik did his best to control his own temper, wiping away Charles' spittle from his face with a trembling hand.

"What? Aren't you going to hit me? Aren't you going to fight back?"Charles taunted him.

Erik had no strength to argue with him any further."I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my addiction, but we're not really here because of me. We're mainly here because of you. You're my priority. I don't matter, Charles, but you do. I don't even know if there's any hope of me ever getting out of my own personal hell, but please believe me when I say that I did these things because I love you. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't tell you about my own problems because I'm ashamed of myself. I mean, look at me! Who'd take my condition seriously?"

That stopped Charles. Erik's words were finally getting through to him. Erik did have a point. Erik had done nothing but devote his time towards Charles' care, despite having to deal with his own withdrawal. No wonder he saw Erik crying that one time; Erik was also suffering and he didn't even have anyone to help him through it. His behavior towards Erik didn't help either. He seduced Erik into having sex with him until his control broke. It finally explained why Erik kept avoiding getting affectionate with him. Charles suddenly began to feel guilty that he'd behaved like a selfish brat towards Erik. He picked up the shirt he had taken off earlier in the day and brought it up to wipe Erik's cheek of his spit.

"I'm sorry too."Charles said softly.

The immediate shift in Charles' behavior astounded Erik. He stared intently into Charles' eyes, wondering if Charles was just faking it, but he saw the genuine concern in Charles' blue eyes. Charles drew him close and hugged him. Erik was glad Charles was the way he is. His gentleness spoke volumes of his character. Erik sighed, relieved by Charles' understanding nature.

"Erik, stay here with me. I feel it coming again. The pain. I don't know if I can stand any more of it-"

"Okay, Charles. Okay."

They worked around the intricacies of the chain getting in their way, with Charles lying on his side, his body pressed against the backing of the couch while Erik reclined on his back, holding Charles close. They slept for only a brief period and then Charles' withdrawal gripped his entire body once more. He felt an aching within his bones, the pain growing immense until it caused him to sob. He clutched at Erik tightly. Charles shivered and moaned, but Erik soothed him and stroked the back of his head. Charles restlessly squirmed beside Erik and then his hand found his own chain. He gripped it hard, shutting his eyes as he bore with the pain until eventually, he lost consciousness. Erik didn't expect their night to end like this, with Charles reciprocating so easily, but he was glad over how things turned out.

When Erik woke up the next morning, he got the shock of his life. Charles was no longer lying next to him. Charles must have taken the keys from his pocket and removed his own chain to escape. Hurriedly scrambling up, with his heart pounding frantically and his nerves shot with fear, Erik ran out into the yard, calling out for Charles. He received no response. Charles couldn't have gotten far. Erik wondered if he could use the car to look for Charles. He headed towards the backyard, laid out with a cement path for parking vehicles, but he did not leave the car out there. He left it in field further down the road, to prevent Charles from using it to escape. As he was walking towards the car, he suddenly caught sight of Charles inside the Land Rover, sullenly staring out at him. Although Charles took his keys, he knew Charles wouldn't be able to use the car. Erik had removed the battery and hid it elsewhere. He casually walked over to the driver's side door and opened it.

"Get out of the car, Charles-"

Charles was crying softly, begging Erik with his eyes."Please, Erik. I can't take it anymore. I can't find the subs. I need something or else I'll die!"

"Charles, I keep telling you, there's no other way you can recover if we don't do things like this. It's for your own good-"

Sobbing louder, Charles slammed his arms over the steering wheel, bowing his head over it and crying brokenly. Erik reached for his shoulder and gently coaxed him out of the vehicle until Charles relented. Charles wasn't even wearing a shirt. He only had on his jogging pants from yesterday. Erik took him back into the house and locked the chain around his midsection once more. Erik then headed upstairs to see what damage Charles had done. Charles had certainly smashed things around in his desperate attempt to look for the subs and Erik didn't even wake up during the ruckus. He must have been that tired. Charles didn't know that Erik hid the subs in Hank's tool shed. After getting everything back in order, Erik headed downstairs to check on Charles. Charles had run up his own warm bath and was sitting in the middle of the bathtub, quietly fuming, the stainless steel chain trailing down from the side of the tub.

"What do you want for breakfast, Charles?"

"Not hungry."Charles said morosely as he laid his head over his knees, hugging his folded legs close to his chest. The chain clattered minutely as he moved.

"Charles, you haven't eaten any dinner. You need to eat to keep your strength up-"

"Then do whatever the fuck you want!"Charles snapped at him, turning to give him a scathing look of hatred. Charles was in one of his moods again.

Sighing in a resigned manner, Erik left him to get things ready in the kitchen. He decided to make Charles a herb omelette. He headed out into the yard to pick up some fresh herbs. When he headed back in by going through the back door, he got another shock. A stranger was standing close by Charles' withdrawal room, staring in at Charles and looking appalled. The stranger was wearing a red flannel shirt, with the sleeves rolled up, exposing his muscular arms which bulged with ropy muscles and veins. He had on dark brown pants, tucked into tall black boots and his hair stood up in black spikes, almost looking like horns. He even sported mutton chops and a permanently scowling countenance. The stranger sensed his presence and suddenly brought up a shotgun, pointing it in Erik's general direction.

"Who the fuck are you?"

Erik countered by asking the same question, regardless of the gun pointing his way."I should ask you the same. Who the fuck are you?"

The stranger sneered at him."I'm the caretaker of this country house when the owner's away and whoever you are, you're trespassing on private property! I'll blow your brains out if you-"

Erik wasn't about to let this rube intimidate him."I'm a guest of Hank McCoy as well as that young man. Hank will be coming over soon. If you want, let's wait until he arrives and he can sort this out-"

At the mention of Charles, the man's eyes widened in indignation. He jerked a thumb towards Charles. Charles had remained naked after his bath. He didn't put on his jogging pants because he was waiting for Erik to bring him some new clothes to wear. Charles was actually lying down on the vinyl couch, reading and then Charles jumped in surprise as he stared back at the intruder, who gawped at his nakedness and his state from the doorway. The man had entered the house so quietly that Charles didn't even sense his approach. They didn't even exchange any words yet, too shocked to say anything until Erik suddenly arrived.

"What the hell is the meaning of this? You got a naked boy chained up like a dog in the bathroom! Are you a sex maniac or something?"

Despite the tension in the air, Charles began to find the entire thing laughable now. He rolled on to his back; panting and then he sat up and stared impassively at Erik and the stranger.

"Woof."Charles said, his expression deadpan and then he began to laugh, rolling around the couch and letting the chains clink and clatter as he squirmed about and then he began to howl up at the ceiling as he laughed. Both the man and Erik stared at Charles strangely.

"What's up with him?" The man said, tilting his head towards Erik and waiting for an answer.

"He's a recovering addict. Hank allowed us to use this house for Charles' recovery. Hank's his doctor. Now, I wouldn't have known that Hank's a doctor if we weren't close friends. You better put that gun away-"

"I don't believe you!"The man said, bringing the gun up again.

"Jesus!"Erik cried out, exasperated. Charles just kept on howling and woofing in the background, laughing like a lunatic all the while.

"I'm calling the cops on you!"The stranger said, looking towards the kitchen for the phone, but it wasn't there any longer. The stranger turned wary eyes towards Erik.

"Where's the phone?"

Charles was down on the floor now, crawling about on all fours and barking. Erik couldn't take anymore of this lunacy. He turned his attention on Charles, shouting at him.

"Put some clothes on, goddamnit and stop acting like that!"

Charles slumped down on the tiled floor, pouting at him. He stuck his tongue out at Erik childishly. Erik then turned his attention on the stranger.

"You! Whoever you are, I don't give a rat's ass if you call the cops! Go ahead, call them! The phone's upstairs!"

The man kept the gun trained on Erik."Bring the phone down here!"

Erik crossed his arms before his chest and sneered up at the guy."What are you gonna do if I don't? Are you going to shoot me? Do it then! Put me out of my fucking misery! You'll only be doing me a favor-"

"I'll say it again. Get the phone for me-"The man said evenly.

Erik scoffed, standing his ground."Get it yourself, asshole!" Erik actually sat on a nearby stool, placing the trowel and the herbs he had in his hands on a table and glared out at the stranger insolently. Charles had stopped with his antics as he stared at Erik, concerned that the man might actually shoot him. He was standing at the doorway now as the man drew closer to Erik, but then another stranger came bounding in through the front door, panting.

"Logan! Put your gun away!"

This must be Hank McCoy. Charles thought he did have an air of someone with a medical profession. He's wearing pale brown slacks, a costly periwinkle shirt, with a matching suit coat over it and he had on wire-rimmed glasses. Even though he seemed young, he had a commanding presence about him. His skin was pale, his cheeks closely shaven and he has dark brown hair and blue eyes like Charles. Logan didn't immediately comply; he jerked his gun towards Erik.

"Do you know these clowns, Hank?"

"Of Course I do, you idiot! These are my guests! Now stop brandishing your gun about! You might blow something out with that thing!"

Logan complied, still glaring at Erik. Hank turned towards Erik, smiling apologetically."Sorry, I came as soon as I could. I tried to call Logan on his phone, but as always, he's not around to pick up my call-"

"I was busy scouting the perimeter. You know I had to do that to keep the hoodlums out-"Logan said as an apology. Hank just shook his head at Logan in distaste and turned his attention back to Erik.

"I forgot to warn you. Every end of the month, Logan comes over to my country house to check on things before I arrive. I usually come here during the end of the month to relax and spend some alone time away from the hustle and bustle of the city-"

"You mean to tell me this ape's your guard dog?"Erik said, pointing a finger towards Logan mockingly.

"Hey, watch your mouth!"Logan said testily. Hank tried to ignore Erik's insults towards Logan.

"Mr. Logan and I have a working agreement, you see. I gave him a small portion of my land along with a stipend and in return, he maintains the security of the property and he gets to live a life similar to Henry David Thoreau-"

Erik laughed at Logan in an insulting manner."Yeah, I bet you enjoy your own company very much-" As he said this, he made jerking motions with his hand, as if he was simulating masturbation and Hank wasn't out to side with Erik this time. He swatted the back of Erik's head, causing Erik to wince and rub at his head, his expression stung. As a result, Logan began to snicker at Erik's scolding.

"That was uncalled for, Erik. Logan was only doing his job-"

Erik scoffed under his breath, narrowing his eyes at Hank."You're such a dick!"

Hank just shrugged."Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Now excuse me, I think I had better go see to my patient-"

Charles had remained ignored all this time, watching the conversation quietly from the bathroom's doorway and when Hank made a step towards him, Charles backed away and returned to the vinyl couch, suddenly feeling exposed. He grabbed his towel from the towel hanger and covered his lower body with it, crossing his arms over his frail chest as his chain clanged noisily on the tiles.

"Hello, Charles. I'm Hank McCoy. Erik took you into my house after your assault. I was the one who treated you-"

"Thanks."Charles said in a small voice, not knowing what else he could say to Hank.

Hank tried to appease him."Now don't be afraid. We're here to help you-"

Charles made a face at that. He grabbed his chain and shook it about slowly, letting it clink upon the floor."Was this your idea of helping me?"

Hank's expression darkened and he turned towards Erik accusingly."No, that was all Erik-"

He gestured towards Erik and Logan."Logan, why don't you scout the place like you're supposed to? Come back to the house after you're done and Erik, why don't you prepare a breakfast for four? I'd like to speak with Charles alone, if I may-"

At this instant, Charles became uneasy. He was wary of what Hank would say to him. The two men left them alone and Hank closed the door to the bathroom. He went towards Charles and asked if he could sit on the couch. Charles nodded and Hank sat beside him.

"I know you're scared but in time, you'll get used to my presence, Charles. I'm not really a specialist in the addiction field; I'm more of a private physician really. However, I do have some knowledge in substance abuse and behavioral therapy. I'd like to help both you and Erik-"

"Am I...going to pay for any of this?"

"Of course not! Erik's got you covered, don't worry. Usually, I would have charged a fee for my services, but as Erik's friend and a consulting physician on the side, it is my discretion whether if I wish to charge you guys or not. In this case, I'm waiving any charges-"

"Thanks again. I mean, really. I'm surprised that Erik's doing these things for me-"

"Didn't he tell you how he felt about you?"

Charles felt a blush rise to his cheeks. "He...He did."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I'm amazed. No one has cared for me the way he cared for me-"

"Isn't that reason enough to consider giving recovery a chance? Had Erik not detained you, I'm sure you would have left already-"

"Yeah, I almost left this morning-"

"You know Charles, there's always an underlying reason why people abuse substances and some people don't even have a clue why they got addicted in the first place. It started out as a recreational thing until eventually, it turns into a full-blown addiction; you start depending on the drug so that you could stop thinking of the real _reason_ until you actually forget what you're escaping from, but deep down, you know its still there-"

Hank turned to face Charles, even though Charles averted his eyes from him.

"You don't have to tell me. If you want, you can talk to Erik about that, but ask yourself, do you want to end up dead, knowing that what you're running from is all you'll ever be and that you'll pass from this world full of regret? Regardless if you're so afraid of the reason, wouldn't you rather own up to it and face yourself with the conviction that you're more than this?"

Tears began to well in Charles' eyes. He wanted to refuse Hank's words and he shook his head slowly in denial of it.

"I know you're hurting, a hurt deeper than withdrawal and you're destroying yourself simply because you don't think you are worth saving, but someone cares about you and someone loves you. Don't let that reason stand in between you and that person. You know who I'm talking about, right? He's never done anything like this for anyone before. That's how much you mean to him-"

Charles began to sob uncontrollably, hiding his face in his trembling hands. It was true. Erik did these things for him, without asking for anything in return. Erik just wanted to help him. Hank let him cry until he slowly sobered up. Hank handed him a handkerchief afterwards so he could wipe away his tears. When Hank spoke again, his voice was gentle.

"It's not going to be easy, but please, give recovery a chance. Don't disregard Erik's sacrifice for you. Don't disregard your life. You matter."

Charles finally met Hank's eyes and his eyes shone with hope. They continued to talk quietly as Hank educated Charles on the recovery process.

 

Erik did his best not to listen in on their conversation. He busied himself with the meal preparations. After fifteen minutes, Logan entered the house and grunted in greeting. Erik just eyed him with undisguised hostility as he continued to do his chores while Logan made himself at home and sat in the rattan couch to check his gun. An hour passed by and then Hank and Charles emerged from the bathroom, with Charles wearing the same jogging pants again. Hank gestured towards Erik.

"Unlock the chain, Erik."

Erik complied, staring down at Charles meaningfully and then Charles smiled up at him gently, the way he used to. It lifted Erik's spirits to see Charles smiling again, even though his eyes had become bloodshot and puffy from crying. They all went to the dining table to eat the meal Erik prepared for them and Erik didn't prod Hank to explain things. He patiently waited for Hank to open the discussion. Eventually, Hank turned his attention on Erik.

"We've discussed the terms of Charles' recovery. He'll tell you all about it later. I do suggest that you stop chaining him up in the bathroom. Let him sleep in your bedroom instead."

That stunned Erik. If he allowed Charles to sleep in his bed, he wasn't sure if he could control his urges. His eyes widened out at Hank, silently demanding an explanation, but in a moment, Hank explained that he'd set up some rules for Erik to follow as well. As Hank continued to discuss the rituals Erik had to follow for his addiction, Logan listened on in stunned silence, his eyes flashing and wide. He suddenly voiced out his concern.

"Am I supposed to be listening to this? You city people are just screwy! You ain't right in the head!"

Erik sneered at him."Yeah keep saying that to yourself, you hulking hermit! I betcha even wank away to imagined hillbilly titties as you contemplate your solitude-"

Logan nearly exploded at that and sprang up from his chair."You scrawny piece of shit! I oughta plug you!"

Erik gave him a devilish grin, almost relishing a fight with the lug and daring him to go ahead, but Hank suddenly slapped a hand over Erik's mouth, glowering at him."You wonder why it's so hard for you to recover? It's because of the filth spewing from your mouth! Quit it, ok?"

Stung, Erik fumed quietly as Hank appeased Logan, but Erik's anger subsided when he saw Charles giggling at them, despite still reeling from withdrawal. Logan eventually left, promising to check on them from time to time even though he clearly loathed Erik and then Hank spoke to both Charles and Erik over their new house rules. Before he left, Hank asked them if they needed anything else.

"Would you like me to bring you any particular supply? New movies or books perhaps?"

Charles looked over at Erik, seemingly asking a silent query and Erik smiled, encouraging him to go ahead.

"Could you bring me some art supplies? I'd like to brush up on my artwork-"

"Sure. What about you, Erik?"

Erik shrugged."Nothing, really. Just bring us something that will entertain us."

Hank nodded."Alright. Just call me if you want to add something more to that-"

They watched as Hank drove off until the car disappeared at a turn in the road and then Charles and Erik went back into the house. As Hank had instructed, Erik didn't chain Charles up any longer. They both slept in the master bedroom and this time, Charles didn't attempt to run away. Surprisingly, Erik didn't feel any urge to have sex with Charles as the other slept beside him. They only drew comfort in each other's embrace and that was all that mattered. This peaceful period lasted for a few days and then Erik decided it was time to start Charles on the Suboxone. He had read that the success rate for recovery was higher with its usage than with Subutex. Charles couldn't hide the hunger in his expression when Erik told him he could have his subs. Erik had asked Hank about the purpose of taking the subs. Why couldn't Charles just go straight to cold turkey? Hank had explained that the chemical inhibitors in the subs would prevent Charles from enjoying any real high, but would relieve the symptoms of withdrawal longer than Heroin and should Charles decide to take Heroin again, he wouldn't feel the same high as before due to his body craving the subs even more than any actual opiate. Erik decided to use the strips instead of the orange tablets so that the difficulty of ingesting the drugs would dampen Charles' enthusiasm for it and he was right. Charles begrudgingly let the strip of Suboxone melt beneath his tongue and he could only sit and wait for it to liquefy before he could spit it out. It did the job, though. It relieved Charles' withdrawal symptoms and it gave him a mild calm. He was intending to chew Erik out for denying him the easy route of swallowing a pill, but the pleasant buzz he felt made him forget his anger.

The situation became easier between them and Charles didn't mind spending hours reading books or watching movies with Erik anymore. They spent most of their time in Hank's garden and if not that, they'd be out for long walks, talking about anything under the sun. This way of living was a welcome relief to Charles and every day that he woke up with Erik sleeping next to him made him happy and content for some reason. He didn't push for intimacy anymore, knowing that he shouldn't let Erik slip from his own recovery process. A few weeks went by before Erik actually asked if they could kiss. This was while they were in bed one afternoon, reading books. Charles excitedly agreed and Erik made a simple request before they began kissing. Their lower bodies shouldn't touch while they kissed. Instead, they would kiss sitting next to each other and embrace loosely. Although Erik murmured that he wanted them to have sex soon, he informed Charles that they could only do it when he gives the go-signal.

They went on like this for another two weeks and Erik asked to have sex with Charles only when he felt a surge of strong feeling for him, so that he would associate sex with his love for Charles and not just because he suddenly felt horny. He followed Hank's instructions. He didn't indulge himself with having sex everyday or needlessly masturbating, but he didn't deny himself true intimacy with Charles either. They had sex only once or twice a week and Erik still controlled himself by not fondling his sex to attain instant relief. They did everything in a controlled manner, without compromising their enjoyment. One night, Erik asked to kiss Charles after they finished folding laundry in the bedroom. Charles obliged him, of course.

Erik made the first move. He leaned in and gently kissed Charles upon the lips, softly sucking and nibbling. Charles shivered and moaned quietly, occasionally opening his limpid blue eyes to meet Erik's steely blue gaze. He could feel his own cheeks burning, the heat spreading downwards as they continued to kiss in this slow and sensual manner. Erik was a really good kisser; his tongue darted into Charles' mouth, tongue flicking and tasting him. Erik tested and teased at the lushness of Charles' lips, nibbling and dragging his teeth upon its plush softness. Charles wanted to hold Erik tightly, but he controlled himself for Erik's sake. They kissed until Charles could feel himself becoming breathless and immensely bothered. He thought he would come, just with kissing Erik like this. Erik's hand suddenly grazed at his shirt and he had to pull away to know for sure if Erik wanted it.

"Now?"Charles moaned, his eyes looking drugged as he stared into Erik's eyes. His chest heaved as he struggled for breath, his entire body burning and aching for sex.

"Now."Erik said throatily and then he guided Charles' body to lie back in bed and then he straddled Charles, kissing him hungrily. Charles broke the kissing only to help Erik out of his clothes and to shrug out of his own clothes until they were both naked. Before they started in on the deed, Charles picked up a timer and with trembling fingers, he set it to sound an alarm in two hours. This was the limit they agreed upon for whenever they would have sex. Charles moaned and sighed with pleasure as Erik touched and pleased him, rubbing at his nipples till he felt the electric shock of nerve endings coming alive within his aching flesh; his body yearning for Erik's hands to touch and caress him all over. He arched his back to meet Erik's grinding strokes, his head restlessly lolling about. They only had a short time to do this. Aroused beyond control, Charles prepared himself for Erik, using some lube upon his hole and guiding Erik to drive his fuck up into him.

"Ahhhh!"Charles cried out in a trembling voice, his expression dreamy as Erik drove in hard and deep and then his hips took on that slow bucking motion. Charles shut his eyes tightly as he enjoyed the bliss of sex with Erik. Indeed, it was such an irony. The only relief he could get out of all this was sex with Erik whenever the subs peter out and Erik's only relief from his own condition was when he engaged in true intimacy with Charles. Charles wanted to make sure that Erik didn't feel like this was all about sex. He wanted Erik to know how much he loved him too. He frequently hugged Erik, even when they didn't have sex, but when they do have sex, he hugged Erik tightly and kissed him passionately, letting Erik know how he felt about him. The moment the alarm goes off, they had to stop, no matter what and so Charles made sure he helped Erik come. He didn't want to leave Erik hanging. They usually ended sex with Charles giving Erik a hand job and then they'd lie next to each other, kissing softly and then falling asleep after.

This time, the alarm went off after Charles gave Erik a hand job, but Erik didn't want to stop. He kept right on kissing Charles and Charles had to stop him.

"Erik, sorry but time's up. We have to stop-"

Erik kept planting kisses upon Charles' face and neck."Just a little more-"

Sighing, Charles let Erik continue, gently caressing his shoulders until Erik nuzzled his face upon Charles' chest, recalling the limit he had set for himself."God, you feel so good. I can't help myself!"

Charles had to chuckle at that, hugging Erik and kissing his cheek quickly."Well you better get off me before you lose it, darling!"

Erik's face scrunched up in his annoyance, but he eventually parted from Charles. They got dressed, slowly straightening things out in the bedroom, but then their heated gazes would meet and Charles knew Erik wanted more. However, he shouldn't indulge Erik because otherwise, it would only set Erik back on his own recovery if he gave in to their carnal urge for each other. To prevent encouraging Erik, Charles left him alone in the room, pretending that he had to go and do something. He busied himself by clearing out the books they had already read and he organized the bookshelves. Erik finally came downstairs and he appeared to have sobered up. He didn't give Charles that dark look of lust any longer.

It appears that Erik's mode of recovery was working for him, but only Erik knows what's going on within his own mind and Charles wouldn't know for sure unless Erik told him. He hoped that one day, Erik would eventually recover, even though he held little hope for himself.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late post. I've been busy with RL work as usual and I've been given a lot of projects I had to handle, that there was simply no time to write T_T Thank you though for still following my work, despite the delays.

 

Charles rubbed Erik's shoulder as the other sat in a tub full of hot water. Erik's entire body ached after another day of hard toiling that he nearly nodded off in the bath. With all the wood he'd chopped over the last few months, he had thought up of a pet project; making use of the mountainous pile of wood, he began building a rope bridge between the low path in the nearby woods and the low hills within Hank's property with Logan's help. He built this bridge to make it easier for Charles to go trekking up there with him when they go for their long walks. Erik sighed contentedly as Charles continued to massage his shoulder and his back in the tub.

"You've overworked yourself again. You should slow it down-" Charles said quietly, working over the stiff muscles beneath Erik's skin.

"I have to do this, Charles. Otherwise my mind will just torture me with dirty thoughts-"

"That bad, huh?"

Erik turned to face Charles, his face haunted and grim. He had given Charles an idea of what it's like, to constantly think of sex. He'd have flashes of remembered sexual encounters or a scene from one of his favorite porn films and then the urge to relieve his compulsion would arise. There have been numerous times when he'd immerse himself in these sexual thoughts, making it so the desire to watch porn was all that mattered. It was a hard battle. He told Charles so.

"Yeah-"

Charles exhaled a soft breath from over Erik's shoulder, his expression sympathetic. He can certainly relate. He'd had his fair share of hell as he endured his own addiction. Right now he's aware that in two weeks, he'll have to stop taking his subs and go cold turkey. The very thought of it made him shudder. Erik had given him subs for two weeks now and they've discussed that the sooner Charles quit, the better his chances would be to recover from his drug addiction. Although it terrified him, he knew that this was for the best. With Erik and Hank's assistance, he'll eventually recover. He didn't want their efforts to be all for nothing. He's even lucky that he had their support. Not many addicts had someone intervening like this on their behalf, even though he barely knew Hank and had just begun getting to know the 'real' Erik. Erik seemed to have sensed his thoughts.

"What about you? Are the subs working for you?"

Charles rolled his eyes at that."The subs are shit, if you want my honest opinion, but yes, it’s doing the job. It keeps the dope sickness at bay-"

Erik had a taste of recreational drugs before, which gave him some insight on what Charles meant, but owing to the strong hold of his own compulsion, drugs didn't seem to have any lasting effect on him. He'd developed a short bout of alcoholism, but he'd recovered from that one quickly as well. Erik suddenly winced when Charles' fingers worked on some particularly knotted muscles down the length of his lower back.

"Too hard?"

"No, go on. That feels good-"Erik said, grimacing.

Charles chuckled at that."Look at the two of us. We're like a married couple. I always thought that once you're living under the same roof with your significant other, things suddenly become so mundane that you don't even feel like talking anymore and yet I find that I like talking to you-"

Truly, this was the case. Erik felt the same way. They'd end up talking for hours over any topic they could alight upon. Erik thought it was because of their isolation; perhaps to curb the boredom and lack of stimuli. However, he found that people isolated from other people tend to become crazy and easily provoked and yet the opposite seemed to be happening to them. Instead, they leaned on each other for support. A survival movie they recently watched gave him that idea. The movie of course, didn't have any sexual overtones. Hank had picked it for them after he delivered their latest supplies from civilization. Perhaps it also had something to do with Charles' thoughtful nature. Charles seemed to be the only person who could sense his moods and he wasn't just thinking that way to place the other on some glorified pedestal. He'd lived with other people before and they couldn't seem to understand his behavior. He and Charles were simply agreeable. Charles even took care of him when he'd wake up from his nightmares or when he'd go through one of his withdrawal symptoms.

"I feel the same way-"Erik said softly and leaned back his head on to Charles' arm, draped on the side of the rub, smiling at him warmly. Charles reached out and touched his bearded cheek.

"You need a shave."

"I happen to like my ginger beard-"Erik said, pretending to sound offended. He was beginning to grow fond of his beard and his unkempt appearance. Besides, he didn't have to make himself look presentable for any corporate bosses at the moment.

"Let me give you a shave. Come on!"

"Why are you obsessing over it anyway?"

"I want to do a sketch of you with your face clean-shaven."

As promised, Hank brought Charles a sketching and painting set, using Erik's money to purchase them and now Charles spent most of his time doing some therapeutic artwork. He was quite good at it, too. Mostly Charles did nature paintings and still-life ones, but Charles occasionally sketched people using the pictures from the books they have at the country house. This was the first time Charles had offered to do his portrait.

"I don't think I'll be able to sit still, Charles-"

Charles kissed the side of his head."Please! Pretty please!"He cooed and Erik eventually gave in. After Erik finished with his hot bath, he and Charles stood before the bathroom's mirror over at the sink and Charles lathered up some shaving foam over Erik's cheeks, carefully shaving him with a new razor. Erik began to make jokes about suing Charles if he lost his good looks due to Charles' poor shaving skills. Charles ignored him and focused on shaving Erik. When he finished, Erik took a good look at his reflection upon the mirror, turning his head from side to side to admire Charles' handiwork.

"Not bad,"Erik said, running his hand over his smooth cheeks and then Charles handed him a fresh flannel shirt to wear.

"It's already dark outside. I'll have to do your portrait under artificial lighting-"

"Can't you wait to paint my portrait in the morning?"

Charles shook his head."I've got the drive to do it now. Let's do it on the couch-"

Erik playfully laid himself out on the red vinyl couch, propping one hand under his chin and leaning provocatively, wiggling his hip in an exaggerated manner."Paint me like one of your French girls, Charles!"

Charles just giggled at that and picked up a large sketchbook, staring intently at Erik."Just sit back and relax, okay?"

Erik obliged Charles and sat back, legs wide apart with his fingers laced together, his expression one of faint amusement as he regarded Charles. Charles's own expression had grown serious as he narrowed his eyes at Erik, his fingers deftly sketching Erik's likeness on to the paper. He smudged a line here and there as he worked, looking up at Erik from time to time and ignoring Erik's attempts at goofing off; blowing kisses his way and giving Charles his shark-like grin. Erik began to feel restless, but he remained in place, knowing that Charles would finish his artwork, sooner or later. When Charles did finish, he gestured for Erik to come over so he could take a good look at Charles' sketch of him. Erik crouched by Charles' chair and admired how life-like Charles had rendered his image upon the paper in black and white. Charles drew every line and curve perfectly, even sketching in that faint scar from above his upper lip, along with the wrinkles upon his brow and the intensity of his stare.

"That's amazing, Charles!"

"Why, thank you, Erik!"Charles said with pride, beaming up at him. Erik kissed his cheek and held the sketchbook under the light, marveling over Charles' skill.

"Can I keep it?"

"Sure."Charles stood up, stretching his back and then he announced that he'll be cooking their dinner tonight and that Erik could sit back and relax. Erik put aside the sketch and watched Charles working at the kitchen counter, preparing their meal. He affectionately gazed at Charles, willing Charles to look his way, but Charles was too focused on cooking to do so. Erik gave up and began to read a book on fly-fishing, wondering if he could take Charles out on a fishing trip. He sniffed as Charles' cooking wafted towards him. It smelled strongly of butter. He put the book aside to look in on Charles and he saw that Charles had prepared pan-seared White fish and buttered vegetables for the evening. Charles brought their meal at the dining table and they ate without talking much, enjoying their quiet moment together. Charles could even hear the chirping of the crickets outside and perhaps some other insect species he did not know. Nevertheless, he enjoyed Erik's company. They headed back upstairs, lying back in bed and reading their own books. Erik continued to read the book on fly-fishing while Charles read some straight-up fiction. Charles suddenly stopped reading to look over at Erik, staring at his profile.

Erik noticed his appraisal and turned to look over at him."What's up, Charles?"

"I...I've been thinking about this for a while and I always wanted to ask you, but I wasn't sure if we can talk about it-"

"About what?"

Charles drew closer and pressed his chin on to Erik's shoulder."When did it start for you?"

Erik knew exactly what Charles was talking about. He sighed wearily, gazing up at the ceiling. He laid his book upon his chest as he looked up at the ceiling, as if searching it for some answers. He never talked about this with anyone, not even his own mother. He'd run away from it for so long that he wasn't sure if he could remember the exact details.

"When I was a little boy, my mom sent me to live with my aunt, because my dad was very sick at that time and my mom couldn't take care of a sick husband and a precocious son at the same time. I thought my aunt was the coolest. She let me do whatever I wanted, including doing sexual things...to her. I became free-spirited and rebellious back then. Even though my mother eventually took me back, I kept going back to my aunt. By the time I was fourteen, only then did I realize that sleeping with your own aunt was not only frowned upon by society, it was a crime on her part. What she did to me was child abuse."

Charles' eyes trembled with feeling as he sat up straight to stare at Erik's face. Erik spoke in a matter-of-fact voice, his face expressionless, but his eyes looked pained. Erik continued to speak.

"Despite knowing how wrong it was, I kept returning to her for sex. At school, I became quite promiscuous. I wooed the girls so I could sleep with them, bragging about it afterwards to my friends that I started to get a reputation at school. My parents couldn't control me. It was all getting out of hand. I don't know why I did it, but one time, I made a secret video recording of me and my aunt having sex. I didn't even care about the consequences, I let my so-called friends pass that video around-"

Charles' expression slowly decayed into dismay as Erik continued.

"As a joke, one of the boys at my hometown played that video at a party. I became notorious as a young stud and my aunt became the town slut. My dad beat me up after he heard of the incestuous scandal and my aunt had to explain herself to the town council. Eventually, the police took my aunt in. She posted bail because my mother helped her. I blamed my mother back then. She knew what my aunt was doing to me, but she didn't say anything. A few weeks after that, my aunt committed suicide. I heard she jumped on to some train tracks and got ripped apart by a train."

Charles suddenly reached for Erik's hand, holding it tightly in his own hand. Erik shook his head weakly and began to cry, the tears slowly coursing down his cheeks.

"I responded with apathy. They didn't know about the abuse; how she fucked up my mind about sex. People looked at me differently afterwards, like I was a disease; they avoided me like the plague and to top it off, my parents were always on my case. I couldn't take it anymore so I ran away from home-"

"I went to live with Hank for some time and then I put myself through in college by acquiring a loan from Hank's father. I worked hard to get away from my old hometown and ever since then, I never returned to that place. Still, whatever happened to me there followed me. I kept on wanting more sex; I kept on watching porn due to my obsession with sex. It was taking my life over and no one even knew-"

Crying along with Erik, Charles reached for Erik and hugged him tightly, while Erik sobbed into his arms, covering his face with his hands.

"Erik why didn't you tell them?"Charles asked softly.

"Charles, I didn't have to say anything. They knew! My parents knew and despite that, they kept on talking and associating with her like nothing happened!"

"Are you sure? You just ran away, without clearing things up with your mom. Maybe she didn't even know-"

Erik pulled away from Charles' arms, eyes flashing."No, she knew! I'm sure of it!"

"Why don't you talk to her, just to confirm things-"

Erik shook his head weakly and sidled up to Charles again, hugging him this time. He still refused to accept Charles' words. He was afraid of finding out the truth to begin with and most of all, he was afraid that Charles might actually be right. Charles hugged him back and soothed him until they both fell asleep in each other's arms.

 

He didn't have the slightest clue about fly-fishing, even though he'd read about it last night. Charles was equally struggling in much the same way. Erik thought he could wing it and eventually get the knack of it, but he was wrong. Several hours had already passed and they haven't caught any fish yet. Wading shin-deep in the clear water of the lake, Charles moved closer to him, giving him a wry smile.

"Haven't you gone fishing with Hank before?"

Erik shrugged."I only watched him. Never went fishing myself-"

Charles chuckled at that and sloshed water about as he headed for the embankment. He's had enough."We're getting nowhere. Maybe we could just go for a walk? You said you already finished the bridge, right? I want to see it!"

Erik rolled his eyes at that."Yeah, I wouldn't have been able to finish it if not for Logan. He knows his stuff-"

Erik didn't want to admit it, but Logan actually offered to help him even though they despised each other. Logan occasionally came to visit them as he had promised, making sure everything was in order. Charles had already taken off his fishing boots, beckoning for Erik to follow suit. Erik obliged him and he began to take off his fishing gear. They headed back to the country house to put aside their fishing equipment, courtesy of Hank and then they headed for the low hills. Charles appreciated the beauty of their surroundings. Hank's property had plenty of trees, untouched by the influence of civilization. It gave him a sense of peace as he walked beside Erik. They quietly looked around, without saying a word to each other. Erik and Charles crossed the bridge and when they got to the other side, Charles marveled over how sturdy the bridge is, even commenting on it in an awed voice.

"Why the hell wouldn't it be? You don't seem to have any confidence in my construction skills-"Erik said dryly, causing Charles to giggle.

"Not at all, darling! You've actually amazed me with your skill. To think that this is the first bridge you've ever built!"

Erik softened at his words. He reached for Charles' wrist and led him towards a rocky area, the boulders covered in moss and the surrounding area somehow misty. Charles could hear the rush of water and before he even saw the place, he knew they were heading towards a waterfall. Charles uttered a cry of delight and ran towards the low and flat rock formations to watch the cascade of strong water from above. The water splashed down in a rush of foam and bubbles, breaking through the body of greenish-blue water. Charles began to take off his shoes, hurriedly shoving down his pants, intending to jump in.

"Wait! I didn't bring you here to go for a swim-"Erik cried out anxiously. The plan was to take Charles sight-seeing and then to head back into the country house before lunch.

Charles widened his eyes at Erik, pointing towards the water."Oh come on! Look at that water! It's practically begging me to go in for a dip!"

Erik couldn't stop Charles from taking off all his clothes. He had a wonderful view of Charles' pale backside as the other screamed out joyfully before jumping into the water, where he disappeared under for a few minutes. Charles suddenly broke through the surface, gasping. He pushed his wet hair out of his face and gestured for Erik to join him, smiling in a naughty way.

"Get in here, will you!"

Erik finally gave in. He began to take his own clothes off and then letting out a whoop of joy, he tucked his legs in and jumped into the water, splashing water on to Charles' face as he did so. Charles let out a carefree laugh when Erik broke through the surface, reaching for him and breathing raggedly.

"Shit! The water's freezing, Charles!"Erik cried out, coughing and spitting out a mouthful of water.

"Aw, big baby all scared of a little ol' cold water?"Charles taunted him, prompting Erik to chase him around in that turbulent pool.

Owing to Erik's shark-like grin, Erik actually looked unsettling as he tore through the water, looking like an actual shark rushing towards its prey. They pushed at each other and splashed water over each other's faces, playing around in the water like children. At one point, Charles had his arms around Erik from the back, holding him close and laughing. Then, Charles suddenly kissed the back of Erik's neck. Erik exhaled a sharp breath and looked around at Charles.

"Charles,"Erik warned him softly.

Charles ignored the warning and began to kiss that area between Erik's neck and his ear. This time, Erik didn't shiver from the cold. He shivered because he suddenly felt aroused. His cock immediately came to life underneath the water, despite how cold it was.

"We're doing it later anyway. Why can't we do it here now? No one's going to see us! Besides, we don't do it on the same schedule. We can do it when you want it and where you want it-"Charles whispered in a throaty voice.

Erik didn't need any further prodding. He turned around and embraced Charles, drawing him close to kiss him passionately. Charles clung on to him, returning the feverish kisses and moaning. Charles suckled suggestively at Erik's lower lip, while Erik's hand traveled down to clutch possessively at Charles' ass. They touched and kissed each other in the water until Erik felt Charles' hard cock rubbing up against him. He stopped kissing Charles and began to lead him back towards the flat rock formation at the base of the waterfall. Notwithstanding the uncomfortable bed they chose to continue their make-out session, Erik continued to kiss Charles hungrily, touching and kissing him in places that made him cry out wantonly. Erik's mouth continued to trail downwards. He kissed Charles' lower belly and then Charles started in shock when Erik began to suck his cock.

"Ahhhh!"Charles moaned and he looked down as Erik continued to suck him slowly and deeply. The whitewater from the base of the waterfall sprayed a mist of water over them as they kept at it. Charles' hips circled upwards, meeting Erik's burning lips, still wrapped around his cock. The movement of his hips quickened and Erik matched the speed of Charles' hip thrusts with his own movement, bobbing his head up and down over Charles' lap. Charles had flung his arms over his head in complete surrender, aroused beyond control. Charles uttered a wavering, strangled cry when he orgasmed. Erik pulled back to watch Charles as the throes of his climax still ran through him. Erik couldn't help but stare on, mesmerized by Charles' beauty. Under the sun, Charles' pale skin glowed, his freckles barely showing through. Charles had kept his heavy-lidded eyes closed, his chest still heaving as he waited to recover. Without meaning to, he bit at his lower lip, savoring the last or his orgasm as it tapered off. Erik's eyes wandered further down, his eyes now riveted to Charles' pulsing and wet cock. Some of Charles' come spilled on to his belly. Erik suddenly reached out and used his fingers to spread Charles' come upon his skin, rubbing it on to Charles' belly and slathering it around Charles' still sensitive cock, eventually spreading the slick wetness on to Charles' hole.

"Oh God, Erik!"Charles gasped out. Charles propped himself up upon his elbows, his expression agonized as Erik's fingers drove deeper into him. Charles threw his head back, his breathing quickening again as Erik's fingers probed and prodded him, searching for that sweet spot and causing Charles to sag back, legs splayed open and his cries taking on a trembling quality.

Erik couldn't stand it any longer. He was aching to fuck Charles. He roughly turned Charles around to take him from behind. He beat himself off first to spread his own pre-cum down his length, also using Charles' come to ease his entry into Charles' hole. Spreading Charles' ass cheeks, he slowly and carefully went in, the head of his cock straining at Charles' tightness. He groaned, joining in on Charles' howls of pleasure until he had his cock all the way in. Charles gripped the mossy crags of the rocks around him, his hands restlessly scrabbling about for purchase as Erik's cock delved deeper into him, his eyes shut tight as he enjoyed the sensation of becoming spread open like this. Erik began to circle his hips slowly, carefully moving so that his movements wouldn't hurt Charles. Erik drew in breathless gasps, vying for control. He didn't want to lose it just yet. He bucked his hips forward, keeping the pace slow as Charles' head lolled about restlessly, his legs wide open as he received Erik's cock. Nothing could compare to Erik's prowess when it comes to sex. Erik certainly knew how to move his hips. He knew when he had to quicken or deepen his movements. Charles felt himself peaking again, his cock bobbing rigidly between his legs as Erik fucked him faster and harder this time.

Since they are in a secluded area, they noisily and unabashedly had sex out in the wilderness; their howls loud enough to send birds flying from their roosts, crying in unison with them and frantically flying about. Afterwards, Erik and Charles smiled meaningfully at each other as they put their clothes on. Walking side by side, they walked towards the main path, heading towards the bridge, returning to their country house, their steps languid and unhurried. Surprisingly enough, Logan was there, waiting for them. As usual, his expression was sour and pugnacious as ever. Charles greeted him first.

"Logan! What a pleasant surprise! We were just taking a bath. Did you know that there's a waterfall nearby?"

Logan's brow furrowed at that, a vein seeming to pulse in the middle of his forehead. He gritted his teeth as he spat out his response.

"Yeah, I was just taking a bath there too...until a couple of noisy, rutting animals ruined my peace and quiet with their indecent howling-"

Charles' face fell. Only then did he notice that Logan's hair was wet, his chambray shirt also wet in patches. Charles began to blush furiously when he realized they had intruded on Logan's private bathing space. Erik couldn't hide his own dismay, as well as his embarrassment, evidently blushing like Charles. He had screamed out some crazy things back at the waterfall.

"I'm sorry, we didn't know. It was my fault! I put Erik up to it!"Charles amended. Logan still couldn't hide his irritation towards them. He kept his arms crossed before his chest as he glared out at them to chastise them. Erik remained silent all throughout. He didn't want to apologize, especially not to this hairy lug. His ego prevented him from doing so. Logan drew in a sharp breath through his nostrils, impassively staring at Erik. A snide smile suddenly formed upon his lips, knowing Erik wouldn't dare apologize. He walked over to Erik and jabbed a finger at his chest.

"Next time, keep your hanky-panky to yourselves! Decent people don't need to see or hear shit like that!"

Charles' face flamed a deeper red upon hearing that, utterly humiliated. He kept his head down while Erik glanced over at him quickly. He didn't slap Logan's hand away as the other jabbed at him, knowing they were truly wrong in this instance. Logan grunted smugly at Erik's silence. He left them standing there in the country house yard, walking back towards his own house beyond the low hills.

"Go fuck yourself, you asshole!"Erik said under his breath when he was sure Logan was not within earshot, his hands balled into fists, shoulders shaking in his rage. Charles quietly reached for his wrist.

"Erik, please-"

Erik looked over at him, fuming."Well how the hell were we supposed to know that the big gorilla does take his baths after all?"

Charles stopped for a moment, staring at Erik with wide blue eyes and then he snorted laughter at Erik's words. They both began to laugh uproariously, grinning at each other and slapping each other's backs. They suddenly heard Logan's distant shouting.

"You pieces of shit! Are you laughing at me?"

Logan was still close by, it seems, causing Erik and Charles to laugh even harder and then they headed into the house to laugh some more until they had enough. Their amusement didn't immediately cease. Their eyes would meet and then they'd both start laughing again, albeit in a subdued manner. Erik prepared a late lunch this time while Charles watched a movie. After they had their lunch, they both sat back to watch another movie. Erik decided that for today, they'd relax and avoid doing any chores. Charles leaned against Erik as they watched an adventure film together.

"Erik?"

"Hmm?"

"When we're done with recovery, do you think we'll be able to quit our addictions completely?"

Erik pulled back to stare intently into Charles' eyes."Why'd you ask that?"

"What if once we're out there...we'd be back to our old ways again? What do we do then?"

Erik had wondered the same thing himself, but he didn't dare voice out his own fears. He reached for Charles' shoulder instead to hug him close.

"Hey, have a little faith, Charles. We'll be okay-"

Even though Erik spoke in a reassuring way, a small part of Charles worried about their future together. Once they return to the city, he didn't know if Erik would still feel the same about him. He didn't know if Erik could maintain his faithfulness. After knowing Erik's history, he knew there's a possibility that Erik might get swayed by the visual stimuli of women and porn once more. It was inevitable and yet Charles hoped that he was wrong about Erik, as surely as he hoped that he actually stood a chance of coming clean from his own addiction.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may be sick, but I'll try my best to keep on writing, even if I have to do it very slowly. Thanks for your patience.

 

"Are you sure?"Erik asked hesitantly as he searched Charles' eyes, just to confirm that Charles truly wanted to go through with this again. Charles had asked Erik to chain him up once more in Hank's bathroom, for fear that he'd attempt to escape even though he'd like to think his will had become stronger than his need for Heroin. He just didn't trust himself and for this reason, he'd rather have Erik restraining him than wasting their efforts. Charles pressed his generous lips together and nodded quickly, hoping that Erik could see his determination to better himself.

They stood before the metal drainage pipe in the bathroom, with Erik re-attaching the chain and locking it in place with a padlock. Erik stopped a moment before securing the other end of the chain with a smaller, but stronger padlock around Charles' waist.

"Thank you, Erik."

"I don't like chaining you up like this, Charles. It doesn't feel right-"

"We both know there's no easy way around this situation, Erik. I have to do this."

The day Charles had been dreading finally came. Yesterday, he had taken his last dose of Suboxone. Now he had nothing to fend off his need for a fix. He'll have to endure another bout of body aches, fever, diarrhea, vomiting and every other syndrome associated with his withdrawal. He just simply couldn't stand the pain that came along with it, however, he had no other choice. They've started the process so he might as well continue. After Erik had attached the chain, Charles reached out to hold Erik's hand in his.

"Will you do me a favor? Will you keep me company on the first night?"Charles asked meekly.

"Of course, Charles. You don't even need to ask. I'm here for you."

Charles exhaled a shaky breath and then he stood on his toes to lean forward and kiss Erik on the lips, placing his hands on Erik's shoulders. Erik embraced him, nuzzling his face to Charles' hair when they parted from the kiss and then Charles walked towards the vinyl couch and sat down morosely, nibbling on his lower lip and crossing his arms over his chest. Erik went over to him, touched the back of his neck affectionately and then he left to prepare their meal for the day and to finish his house work. Meanwhile, Charles began his day by focusing on sketching trees, but after some time, he grew bored with it and resorted to watching an old film he hadn't watched before. Although Erik became busy with his chores, he looked in on Charles from time to time, stopping to talk with him, albeit briefly and then he'd go back to finishing his daily tasks. As the day drew on though, Charles' anxiety became much more apparent. When Erik took a quick peek on Charles, Charles was walking about restlessly upon the tiled floor, dragging his chain as it clinked and trailed at his back. Charles began to wring his hands through his hair, not knowing that Erik peered in on him. Charles quietly wiped at his tears and then he sat back on the couch, folding his legs and hugging them close to his chest, rocking restlessly to and fro, his face shoved into his knees.

Erik had to stop what he was doing to see to Charles' state."Charles, do you need me?"

Charles stopped rocking and looked up at Erik, his expression agonized."Could you please hold me, Erik?"

Erik went over to Charles and sat beside him. Charles sidled close to him and hugged him tightly and Erik did the same, running his hand over Charles' back and doing his best to soothe the other. Charles breathed out shakily and closed his eyes, drawing comfort from Erik's touch.

"You want to help me with the chores? I was about to scrub out the stairs-"

Charles shook his head and looked up at Erik with imploring eyes."Can you just hold me like this for a while longer?"

Erik sighed softly and ran his hand through Charles' hair gently."We can sit like this for as long as you need me, Charles."

"Thank you."Charles whispered against him and they sat like that for some time until Charles asked him if they could go for a walk outside. Regardless if his chores remained unfinished, Erik didn't need Charles to ask him twice. He immediately stood up to undo Charles' chain, holding his hand and leading him outside. They went for a brisk walk, even going down the length of the rope bridge until they reached Logan's waterfall. To prevent any mishaps from happening again, both Logan and Erik agreed that Logan should put up some form of signal at the passageway leading towards the waterfall, so that Erik and Charles wouldn't intrude on his privacy. For one thing, they didn't know Logan frequently took baths at different intervals. So now, if he's bathing at the waterfall, Logan would wrap his shirt on a branch hanging close by. Today, Logan's shirt was absent from the branch, allowing Erik and Charles to walk through the passage without worrying about Logan's presence in the area.

Up to the present time, they remained silent as they walked, but Erik suddenly broke it when he voiced out a question he wanted to ask Charles.

"What are your plans, Charles? For when we go back to the city?"

Charles looked over at Erik curiously, unsure over why Erik suddenly asked him something like that.

"Surely you've thought about it, didn't you?"

"I don't know. To be honest, I only want to get through my withdrawal. That's all I could think of at the moment."

"Charles you have to consider about your future. I know things are difficult with your parents, but maybe you'd like to pursue college again."

Charles made a face."I don't exactly have the funds to continue with my studies, you know-"

"Then I'll put you through college myself!"Erik offered quickly and Charles' eyes widened at that. He shook his head slowly.

"No."

"Why not? I can afford it!"

Charles stopped walking and placed his hands at his hips."Stop it, Erik! Why are you saying things like that? I owe you so much already! You don't have to-"

Erik placed a palm over Charles' mouth, stopping him from talking and then he shrugged, grinning at Charles insolently."I want to."

Charles shook his head vehemently this time."No, it's too much! I can go straight to work. I'll eventually find someone who will hire me. I can take care of myself!"

"Charles, come on! Don't be so stubborn! Admit it! You need some funding and here I am, willing to help you. I'm offering my services for free, no strings attached. Listen, I promise on my word, I'll put you through college, no matter what. I'll have Hank set up a college account for you when I speak to him."

Charles continued to shake his head."Erik, I'd rather lose everything than lose you. I don't care if I don't get to finish my studies. I just want to be with you!"

That certainly stopped Erik. He stared at Charles intently and then he went over to Charles and hugged him tightly. He'd never thought he'd hear someone say those words to him. Charles' words touched something inside him, more intimately than sex ever would. Charles' eyes regarded him uneasily, worried that he might have turned Erik off with his words, spoken so plainly and with such heartfelt honesty. Sometimes he hated himself for being such an emotional basket case. He simply didn't have any control over his feelings. He blushed hotly, suddenly backing away from Erik. However, Erik suddenly reached for his wrists and drew him close, kissing him passionately. Charles hesitated for a moment, then he wrapped his arms around Erik's shoulders; tears coursing down his cheeks, his feelings for Erik overwhelming him. He meant what he said. He'd rather lose it all than lose Erik. Erik accepted him for the mess that he is and Erik equally felt the same. Even though he didn't have anything he could offer Erik, all he could give him was his love. Erik slowly pulled back and kissed his cheek gently, wiping Charles' tears away.

"Now that was some kiss."Erik said, chuckling under his breath, smiling down at Charles.

Charles continued to blush until Erik slapped a hand over his cheek and began pinching him playfully."Has anyone ever told you that when you blush, your cheeks look like a baby's rosy ass?"

Charles' eyes grew wide and indignant at that, slapping Erik's hand away."Thanks a lot, you asshole!"He said sarcastically. Erik had to ruin that sweet moment by comparing his cheeks with a baby's backside. Charles began to walk away from him.

"Don't be like that, Charles! I meant it as a compliment!"

"Fuck you!"

"Yes, please!"Erik teased and in response, Charles began to walk faster; then he broke out into a sprint until both he and Erik began to run. Erik grappled Charles on to the grass when he caught up with him and hugged him close. Charles suddenly burst out laughing, finally finding humor in their situation. Despite the twinge of aching coursing through his flesh, running did Charles some good. Since running increased his endorphin levels, it somehow alleviated his body pain. They both got up from the grass and walked at a much slower pace, smiling at each other. The peacefulness of their surroundings helping them somehow.

Nevertheless, that happy moment wasn't about to last. When they got back to the house and Erik continued with his chores, Charles settled into the couch once more and then the dark thoughts he'd been thinking earlier rose up again. He tried his best to hide it from Erik when Erik came in carrying his meal. He picked at his food and Erik had to coax him into eating half of what he had on his plate, knowing that Charles needed to eat to keep his strength up. As soon as an hour had passed, Charles hurried for the toilet bowl to vomit. Erik left Charles alone at this point because he knew how much Charles hated it when he hovered over him, whenever he's in this state. Erik thought it had something to do with Charles becoming too conscious of his retching and the smell of his vomit. Erik didn't mind at all, but he gave Charles his dignity by keeping his distance. After Charles had finished puking into the toilet bowl and rinsing his mouth thoroughly, he sluggishly went for the bathtub and filled it with warm water. Charles took his clothes off afterwards and sat in the tub, shivering slightly because of the trembling within his limbs. He sat in there for almost twenty minutes and when the shakes had passed, he stepped out and dressed up into a fresh set of clothes. He went back to the couch and wrapped a blanket over himself, too exhausted and light-headed to care about his empty stomach. He fell asleep and when he woke up, Erik had cleaned up after him. Erik had picked up his clothes from the floor, drained the tub and wiped the wet spots clear. Erik even adjusted the heater and cleaned out the small carpet beneath the vinyl couch, clearing it of strewn papers and books.

Erik noticed that he had awoken and went over to him, softly touching his forehead."Are you feeling better?"

Charles didn't really feel any better, but he still nodded.

"I brought you a PB&J and a banana. You need to eat something before I give you some meds for your nausea."

"Okay."Charles croaked out, his throat felt so parched. When he sat up, Erik already had a glass of water ready for him and then he took the sandwich Erik prepared for him and ate it all. Erik then gave him some medication for his queasy stomach and tended to him and when he was sure Charles had everything he needed, Erik left him again to go outside and finish with his gardening and weeding, part of his own regimen to avoid thinking about sex.

Charles remained in the couch for a while, thankful for the peace and quiet and then he got up to walk around his room and then he did some stretches. When he finished, he continued to watch the movie he was watching earlier and then he read a book; he touched up his tree sketches and then he listened to some music on a portable CD player Hank owned, a relic of the 90's. He and Erik had no access to smart phones or computers, due to Erik's avoidance of anything that would lead to a slip-up into sexual addiction, but Erik still received his paperwork from his office thanks to Hank. Erik had to hand-write his reports and assume the figures and findings he wrote down after he reviewed the data. He knew Scott would fix the rest. Charles had to admire Erik's fortitude. He didn't force Charles into constant sex and when they did have sex, Erik had been nothing but gentle and loving when he touched him.

For the most part, Charles stuck to his own rituals, frequently changing it up to prevent himself from getting bored. He and Erik constantly left the house for long walks; sometimes they would go jogging, if not that, they would go fishing. In time, they got the knack of it even though they didn't catch anything big. Sometimes they would visit Logan. Erik begrudgingly agreed to go on the condition that they didn't have to stay too long. These activities somehow helped Charles get through each day, but on some nights, he'd wake up crying, begging Erik for help. Suboxone withdrawal wasn't as bad as Heroin withdrawal, but it still hurts and it didn't stop the nightmares.

He woke up one night in the bathroom and it was dark. Erik had turned off all the lights. Panicking, he called out for Erik.

"Erik?"

Erik was sleeping outside and he immediately got up from the rattan couch to check on Charles.

"Yes, Charles?"

Charles grabbed for him and hugged him tightly, sobbing.

"Was it a bad dream?"

Charles nodded against him, sniffling."I thought you left me all alone out here." Erik knew that this was Charles' greatest fear; abandonment. Charles' father had ingrained that in him. Hence, his initial trust issues and his earnest desire for affection. Even though his actions seemed needy and emotional, he bared it all for Erik because he didn't have any heroin to escape to. He's left exposed, stripped of whatever protective shell he once had.

"You know I would never leave you-"Erik soothed him.

Charles pulled away upon hearing Erik say those words, his expression pained."You're saying these things now, but once we return to the city, we'll drift apart. You'll change! I just know it!"

Erik became perplexed."Why would you think that?"

"Look at me! I'm a fucking man! Let's face it, you don't have a future with me. You're only with me because it suits you! Why don't you just admit it, Erik? You only brought me here to distract yourself from your addiction, but you don't really give a shit about me-"

Hearing Charles speak like this immediately stunned Erik."Charles, that wasn't what was on my mind at all! I do care about you. I told you that I love you, didn't I? What more do you want from me?"

Charles looked away."I don't know."

Erik thought Charles was just going through these irrational thoughts because he was upset over his nightmare. He slowly reached for Charles and kissed his face, then he began to kiss his neck. In a moment, he kissed Charles upon the lips, holding Charles close even as the other feebly resisted him. Charles finally gave in and wrapped his arms around Erik, letting Erik comfort him this way. Erik removed Charles' chains and led him upstairs. They continued where they had left off and began to make out passionately. Charles wept as they kissed, but Erik gently wiped his tears away and kissed him until Charles fell asleep.

Despite Erik's efforts, Charles' dark mood still hasn't lifted when they got up the next day. Charles asked Erik to chain him up again in his 'Recovery' room after they had their breakfast, busying himself with his sketches. Erik decided to call Hank in the upstairs bedroom.

"Hank? Yeah, I'm doing fine thanks for asking. I'm calling because of Charles. He's off the Suboxone, but he's become so moody. I don't know what else to do."

"It's normal for him to go through this. Honestly, the best you can do is to not give up on him. As long as he sees that you're sticking with this, he'll eventually get out of the funk he's in."

"I don't know, Hank. This feels different."

"Erik, it will pass. Just stick to the plan and you'll both overcome this. You'll see. You've both gotten this far, haven't you?"

Erik sighed."Yeah."

"Then don't you dare quit. Not now. He needs you more than ever, now that he can't rely on any drugs."

Erik nodded to himself even though Hank couldn't see him doing so."Okay. I'll get us all through this."

"That's the spirit!"

"Hank could you help me with something? I'm going to prepare an authorization letter and some documents. I'd like you to get me an application form to set up a college account for Charles. I'll require that the account will only fund college expenses so that Charles can't use it for drugs if he ever relapses."

Hank grew silent on the other end for a long while. Then,"You love him this much, don't you?"

"I suppose so. If things don't work out between us, at least Charles would have a future. He's a talented artist. If I'm right about him, he'll pursue this."

"I'll make the necessary arrangements then. Call me if you need me, okay?"

"Thanks, Hank."

 

Charles didn't overhear Erik's conversation with Hank this time. He was downstairs, staring out the window, overwhelmed by the tide of emotions running though him as he stood there, chained and sick to his stomach. The serene view didn't do anything to uplift his mood. He felt such despair over his existence that he thought nothing would ever fix it. He felt depressed and suicidal. Dominating these feelings was fear. He was afraid of so many things, like going back to the city and going into a drug relapse. He was afraid of what the future would bring, but above all, he was afraid of losing Erik. What gnawed at him constantly was the thought that when they return to the city, Erik would abandon him. He knew that this is a possibility because they're both so flawed that slipping back into their old routine seemed so inevitable. He didn't know why this thought resonated within him with such certainty. He wished to God he was wrong.

Tremors suddenly shot up from his limbs, causing goosebumps to rise upon his skin. He felt the chills come over him again. A cold hand seemed to twist at his insides, causing him to double over, groaning. Even though he was shivering, his forehead had become clammy with sweat, causing his dark brown hair to stick to his pale brow. He hobbled over to the bathtub, turning the water on, full-force and then he sank to the floor, the side of his head pressed to the lip of the tub, waiting for the tub to fill up. He gritted his teeth, grimacing. He struggled to control his nausea because he didn't want to vomit, for fear that he'd end up vomiting blood. He'd already vomited two times this morning. He just couldn't take this fucking withdrawal any longer. Although the tub was only halfway filled, he thought it was more than enough. He took his clothes off and sat in the tub, just letting the hot water continue running from the faucet. The water barely reached his chest. He decided to lie back and submerge himself in it. He drew in a breath and sank down into the water. He had closed his eyes, but then he immediately opened them and underwater, his vision had become blurry due to the cascade of water from the tap that sent bubbles and tiny waves over the surface of the water. He remained underwater longer than necessary. He blinked slowly and then he thought about drowning himself to end it all.

Before he could execute this plan, the sound of his chain scraping against the tub jolted him out of his suicidal thoughts, allowing him to come to his senses. He burst out the water, gasping and wheezing for breath, clutching at the sides of the tub and causing a tremendous amount of water to splash about. The chain clinked and clattered as he moved and then he reached out to hold it in his hands. This chain. The sound of it and the feel of it reminded him of that time when Erik chained him up. Erik had chained him down so that he wouldn't hurt himself and leave, now the sound of it brought back that memory. He sat up straight and then he reached for the faucet handle, turning the water off. At that moment, he heard Erik coming down the stairs. Of course, the first thing Erik did was to peek in on him. Erik saw the mess he had made and frowned at it.

"Everything okay, Charles?"

Charles nodded minutely. He remained in the tub, but out of his concern, Erik entered the recovery room and crouched near the tub, holding Charles eyes in his penetrating stare.

"You sure?"

Charles couldn't lie to him. Not this time. He shook his head and he began to sob softly, head bent over the water. Erik went to him, smoothing the hair at the back of his head. Erik almost wanted to weep along with him. He couldn't stand seeing Charles like this, but he knew, no one else could help Charles through this but him.

"What's wrong?"

"I...I almost drowned myself. I just can't take it anymore, Erik! I can't take anymore of this pain!"Charles cried out brokenly, his breath hitching as he sobbed and spoke.

Erik drew him close, hugging him tightly even though he was getting wet. He held Charles in his arms and then he helped him out of the tub. Erik helped him into some fresh clothes, wrapping a blanket about him and holding him until he calmed down. Erik decided it was time they talked about what Charles was really afraid of.

"Charles, I know you're afraid that I'll abandon you. You know I won't ever do that, but I can't help you if you won't help yourself. Only you can get yourself through this. You can't pin it all on me. Can't you see that? I know this sounds stupid, but think about it for a second. We don't know what's going to happen once we go back to the city. I know it's terrifying and I know you doubt that I'll still be with you, but please trust me when I say that even if it does happen, even if we somehow get parted, I won't give up on you. I'll be there, not just as your lover, but as your friend."

Shaking his head slowly, Charles at first rejected Erik's words, but when he looked up into Erik's eyes, he saw the conviction in them and he realized that the more he depended on Erik, the more Erik would draw away from him. Erik was right, he had to learn to stand up for himself. He had to learn to become independent of his need for Erik's affection or attention. Because Erik did love him. Their isolation was proof enough that Erik would go to such lengths just for him. Erik wouldn't have sacrificed so much to care for him if he didn't. Erik could see that it was slowly dawning on Charles and he smiled at him softly.

"You see? You don't really need me to be your reason to live, Charles. Live for yourself first and the rest will follow. I'm just here to help you along."

Charles nodded and reached for Erik's hand, holding it in his and smiling up at him affectionately, rendered speechless by the strong feelings building within him. He felt hopeful; he felt his spirits lifting up. Erik brought Charles' hand up to kiss it and he could see that Charles was finally finding some relief in his words. He decided to unchain Charles and then he led Charles upstairs so that they could lie in bed together to sleep. Erik knew Charles must be exhausted after his withdrawal. He needed to rest. Charles had slept for a long time and when he woke up, Erik was still in bed with him, holding him close and running his fingers gently over the rounded part of Charles' arm. He had woken up first and was actually reading a book.

"You want to eat something, Charles? You must be hungry."

"Yeah, I'm starving!"

Erik released Charles from his embrace and he began to get up, stretching his arms and yawning."Well come on, then. Let's go downstairs to eat."

They prepared their meal together and Charles pretended to criticize Erik for his cooking, but Erik just laughed it off. When they finished eating, they sat outside the porch steps to watch the stars. The night was peaceful and calm and despite the darkness surrounding them, the light from the stars and the moon illuminated the scene. They didn't even need to say a word to each other. Erik suddenly reached for Charles' arm, pointing towards the bushes and the tall grass.

"Look!"

Charles couldn't see it at first and then he saw it. Ghostly, greenish dots of lights dancing among the leaves. Fireflies.

"They're beautiful!"Charles exclaimed. When he was younger, he used to catch fireflies at his parents' farm, placing them in empty jars with holes punched through the lid to let some air in, however, the fireflies still died. When he realized he was killing such beautiful things heedlessly, he stopped catching them and just watched them from afar. The other kids thought he was weird because he wouldn't catch anymore fireflies with them, but he didn't care what they thought. He shared this story with Erik and Erik smiled at him lovingly.

"Even at a young age, you're kind and sensitive, Charles. I love that about you."

Charles smiled back at him shyly. Erik just had that effect on him.

They sat there, quietly watching the fireflies and then Charles realized he didn't feel any withdrawal at all after waking up with Erik at his side. He felt mellow and relaxed for once. He didn't say anything about it, but he knew that as soon as he gets better, they will leave this little piece of heaven to go back to the craziness of the outside world. It still somehow terrified him, but he realized it didn't feel as bad as before. It somehow gave him some hope that he might recover after all and maybe...just maybe, they might make it, together.

 


End file.
